My Sucky New Year (Have You Ever Regretted Sex?)
None of this would have happened if I had listened to Corey and just stayed put. He told me to leave well enough alone, but I was drunk, horny and curiosity got the better of me.
I’ll just blame it on the alcohol.
It was only a few hours into New Year’s 2001 and Corey and I had just got back to his crib in Brooklyn from a bangin’ house party. The plan was to crash on his couch and head back to Queens in the morning afternoon, but then I got a text from Jessica.
Jessica was a girl I “met” on BlackPlanet. I had joined the site a few months earlier out of boredom and somehow or other she and I wound up messaging back and forth. She seemed cool enough and we eventually exchanged numbers but never met face to face. All I had to go by was the three-quarters profile pic on her page to know what she looked like.
Jessica lived in Brooklyn and since I’d be running through the borough for New Years, we spoke about the possibility of crossing paths during the night. It wasn’t a guarantee but we were headed to parties that were within close proximity so it was an option. Jessica and I texted sporadically throughout the night but seemed to always just miss each other.
By time Corey and I decided to leave the last party, we were both wasted and managed to catch a cab from the local taxi stand to his crib. As soon as we walked through the door is when Jessica’s text came through.
“RU still in Bed-Stuy,” the message read.
“Nah, I just got 2 my boyz crib,” I wrote back.
“Oh, I was lookin fwd 2 seeing U.”
“Me 2. Where do U live?”
After a few more messages I got Jessica’s address and was asking Corey for the number to the nearest cab company.
“Where the hell you going,” Corey asked.
“That chick I was telling you about wants me to come through.”
“Who is this chick again?”
“Some girl I met on BP.”
“You serious? Man, you need to stay your ass here and leave them online chicks alone. We just got out a cab and you gonna spend more money to go back out?”
“Hey, man, she wants to see me.”
“Aiight, man, do you. Be careful and strap up.”
A few minutes later I was in a cab and en route to Jessica’s crib. Once I got there, I took the three flights of stairs to her apartment. I knocked on the door and as soon as Jessica answered I realized the error of my drunken decision.
Although Jessica’s profile pic was only missing one-quarter of her entire frame, it turned out to be a very vital one-quarter. Standing before me was a sizably different woman dressed down in sweat pants, glasses and a scarf on her head. Definitely not the woman I thought I had met online.
Honestly, the idea of bouncin’ crossed my mind but that’d be just plain rude. Besides, I had no idea where the nearest train station was and catching a cab at damn near 4 in the morning on New Years would be downright impossible. So I swallowed my pride and entered.
Jessica’s place was a modest studio apartment so there wasn’t much in terms of a tour. The kitchen was to the right, the bathroom was over there and everything else was just there.
We talked for a few, about what I was too drunk too even recall, but it wasn’t long before I started nodding off and Jessica offered me the cold side of her bed.
What happened next, I’ll just blame on too much dark liquor and raging hormones. Despite the fact I wasn’t physically attracted to Jessica I was still as horny as a toad so I made a move. The next thing I know we were making out.
My hands traced Jessica’s body until they went up her shirt and caressed her breasts. Slowly, my hands trickled past her belly and found their way inside her sweat pants and I immediately started finger fuckin’ her. Jessica writhed in pleasure as my nimble fingers worked their magic on her clit.
Jessica returned the favor, letting her hands stroke my liquor-induced boner. We were both hot and bothered and I wanted my horniness satiated—now.
“I want to fuck,” I blurted out.
I’m not usually so direct, especially with someone I hardly know, but I was drunk as hell and all my manners went out the window. My alter ego Taco Meat was in full control and he wasn’t one for biting his tongue.
“I can’t,” Jessica responded. “Not now.”
In retrospect, she was 100-percent right. This was our first time meeting each other and not even two hours later I was trying to get in her pants. I was totally out of character but damn that dark liquor will do it to you.
“I want you to suck my dick,” I countered, pressing down harder against her clit.
Jessica hesitated for a moment, but eventually conceded to my indecent proposal.
She pulled down my boxers and jeans and took my manhood in her hands. Next, her wide tongue took ownership of my dick, as she licked its circumference with ease. Finally, she took me into her mouth wholly and sucked me hard, fast and deeply.
As much as I love head and wanted nothing more than to cum, I knew I wouldn’t. I was so drunk that my dick had gone numb and only the damp corners of a warm pussy or my own hand would make me bust.
“I want to fuck,” I moaned.
Jessica responded with more intense sucking and slurping. Her commitment excited me but it was a futile effort. I knew it would never be enough to get me off.
All I wanted at that moment was to bend Jessica over and bury her face in a pillow, while I had my way with her. I was not in the mood for sweet gyrations and tender moments. No, I was horny as hell and just wanted to put a hurting on someone.
I wanted to fuck!
Hard.
Fast.
Deep.
Savagely.
Jessica’s never-ending blowjob only infuriated me. I needed more than her tongue. I came here to fuck and she was denying me of my carnal desire.
I literally begged for what I wanted.
“Please, let me fuck you… Come on, I want to fuck… Let me fuck you…”
My pleas fell on deaf ears as Jessica continued to use my cock as a pacifier until I got too frustrated with the affair and pushed her lockjaw off me and promptly passed out—unsatisfied.
The next afternoon I awoke with a massive hangover. As my eyes began to focus I stared up at a ceiling not my own. I slowly took in my surroundings and saw that I was in a stranger’s bed with a woman I wasn’t even attracted to laying next to me.
Definitely not how I planned on kicking off my new year.
Jessica awoke shortly thereafter and I found myself consumed with guilt. I was embarrassed by my actions the night before and letting my dick get me in yet another precarious predicament. But hindsight is 20/20 and youth is wasted on the young.
After an awkward morning after conversation, I made my play for a hasty exit. However, I still had no clue of where the train station was so Jessica offered to walk me since she had to go to the store anyway. Rather than change clothes, she stayed in the same sweat pants and headscarf from the night before. Not to sound vain or shallow, but Jessica’s ensemble added further humiliation to my already long walk of shame.
Once we arrived at the corner bodega, Jessica pointed out the path to the train and I was on my way. Two hours later I was back in Queens with my head still hanging low. It was a mix of drunken relapse and shame about the previous night’s transgressions.
My only saving grace was that Jessica stuck to her guns and we didn’t go all the way. If Taco Meat had his way I would have been a poster boy for ThatsABadLook.com (Coming soon) and made an already awkward moment more complicated.
Despite my constant shit talkin’ that night, once I was sober I realized that sealing the deal with Jessica would have been a major mistake. Jessica was a sweet girl and although my actions admittedly came off quite doggish, I planned to chalk the whole thing up to one big indiscretion that got nipped in the bud just in time.
Well, so I had hoped.
About a week later I was just getting home from work when I got a text from Jessica.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nuthin, jst gettin in frm wk,” I typed back.
“I changed my mind.”
“About what,” I wrote back.
“I wanna fuck.”
“What? But U said U weren’t ready for all that.”
“Well, I changed my mind. I wanna fuck the shit out of you.”
I paused for a moment to process the words on my phone’s screen before responding. I’m sure I could have chosen better words, but I wrote back, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I’m not tryna boo U up, I just wanna fuck.”
“Nah, U were right it’s 2 soon. It’s jst not a good idea.”
“UR loss.”
Ouch!
Have you ever hooked up with someone while you were drunk? Would you have slept with them if you were sober? How awkward is that morning after? Have you ever slept with someone you knew you shouldn’t have? If you could do the night over what would you change? Have you ever gotten caught out there by someone you met online but didn’t look like their profile picture? Do you think that it’s dishonest to misrepresent yourself online? Do you think that sites like BlackPlanet are more about hooking up than actual networking? Did you ever hook up with someone off there back in the days? Was I wrong for going to Jessica’s house? Should I have taken her up on her offer afterwards? What’s your worst New Year’s night ever?
Speak your piece…
Dude was with some other chick as far as I am concerned and ruined my damn NYE.
“My Sucky New Year (Have You Ever Regretted Sex?)”