I’m a woman, and I had sex with the man that I am currently dating after our second date. I liked him a lot, trusted him, and really wanted to do it. So we did, and the sex was amazing, and now I’m afraid it’s taken center place in our relationship (6 months so far). Naked time vs. non-naked time is seriously lopsided.

I suppose the wrinkle in my situation would be that our non-naked time is associated with our naked time. It’s after we have sex that we have deep conversations, or go out for dinner or lunch or a movie. He also has happily married parents that are still incredibly sexual. There’s a fair amount invested in this relationship – we’ve met each other’s entire family and we’re friends with each other’s friends.

However, this issue has been bothering me incredibly. No matter how much I adore, admire, respect, and trust my boyfriend, there is no mistaking that sex too early in our relationship has shifted our interest in other areas that need further development to earth shattering sex. I know that he likes me, but I am going to stand on my point that if we can’t make an effort for more balanced naked time vs. non-naked time in our relationship, especially if I feel as I do, then we shouldn’t be together. I’m just going to get hurt in the long run if we continue on as now. Even if the sex is very meaningful to him, my doubts and anxieties about the amount that we’re having, and about the focus of our relationship is going to slowly kill something vital.

** Again Great Post NWSO

I’m confused, so you want a man that is more concerned with you sexually than mentally and getting to know you????

Not one to assume but it sounds like you skimmed the post and missed the point. The 29 and 30 year old men (me included) described on post were appreciating the value of NON-naked time over naked time, which it sounds like what your mode of thinking is as well.

I doubt most 25 year olds are there yet

You’ll always have my heart don’t worry ; )

When it comes to sex, I will say, women shouldn’t play the “I don’t care” game because if YOU get pregnant you will care and HE doesn’t have to. That’s the truth of the matter. I can honestly say that there have been dudes where it’s like, cool this is what we do and when it’s over we can spend a few minutes, pass some words, maybe go out for a moment and then i’ll see you next go ’round. But that’s me and I’m only built like that because I’m honest. Ladies, stop trying to play the game (and more men that would admit this goes to you too) just to say you did. If you don’t KNOW yourself you will get hurt. All men are NOT made to be players, some of you need to stop trying to fit into whatever propaganda men have going on about their penis’. At the same time, I do know a lot of women who are sexually free and don’t care– not saying they’re knockin every dude down but those they do they do, and that’s what it is. The REASON these ladies can do it is because they KNOW themselves enough to know their weakness. Example, I have a weakness for a tall (6′2 or 6′3) sexy man with a strong back, nice hands and cute eyes. So I would NEVER play myself and jump into bed with one like, “Oh it’s nothin.” Rule 1 to being in “the game” is Don’t lie to yourself! (very similar to the don’t smoke ya own stash law)

We always try to find time to get in the sex even if it is just quickies, but just having time to be in each others company with no interruptions or drama from the kids? Does not happen to often. I don’t think either of us realized how much of an impact it would have. So if I had to choose, non-naked would rule.