Yeah, I Farted So What (Do You Pass Gas in Public?)
I’m not sure if the same goes for the ladies, or other guys for that matter, but I’ve found that whenever I go to the bathroom to tinkle I sometimes wind up farting accidentally. Hey, I’m just keeping it real with y’all. It’s a totally natural body function and completely fine to let one rip when you’re within the privacy of your own home. It’s when you drop bombs in public that there’s a problem.
Although I don’t make a habit of letting loose around other people there are times when you just can’t help it, like in a public restroom. There’s nothing worst than standing at the urinal with another gentleman a few pods over handling his own business when I feel a rumble in my tummy. It becomes a case of mind over matter and sheer will power to not let one rip while trying to piss. Most times I succeed, but others I don’t.
My bad, dawg.
That’s the predicament I found myself in the other night. I was attending an off Broadway play in Brooklyn but had to use the restroom before it started. I had the place to myself so I was free to let loose if need be. I had a burrito for lunch that day so I needed be.
As I was washing my hands, I noticed that my silent but deadly delivery had a bit more kick than I realized. I loitered around the bathroom for a few to let it air out and then left the scene of the crime before someone walked in and saw me waving frantically.
My seat was at the end of the aisle but there was an older woman exiting so I stepped to the side to let her by. As I was waiting for her to pass, I posted up near the row ahead of mine where a guy was sitting with his girl. I noticed him look up at me but I paid it no mind at first. I just figured he wanted to see who was in his personal space. I’d do the same thing if someone’s random ass came into my peripheral.
Once grandma made her way through I grabbed my seat behind homeboy and his girl. As I waited for the play to start, I took in what could have been a faint whiff of natural gas.
Oh, no!
Panicking, I sniffed again but I just wasn’t sure. I think my nostrils were playing tricks on me, but what if they weren’t? Was that why that guy was looking at me like that? If a small noxious gas cloud had followed me from the restroom I could have unknowingly planted it right on homeboy’s shoulder.
Oh, the horror.
I sniffed and still wasn’t sure if I had carried my stinky with me or it was just my imagination. Either way there was nothing I could do about it now. Luckily for me the lights soon dimmed and the play began.
Now I’m not sure how many of you are still reading but I have a point (well, kinda-sorta).
Although most people aren’t proud enough to admit it, but we all fart. As nasty as it can be we’ve all done it and will surely do it again. Just next time I “accidentally” let one go in a public restroom, I’ll make sure it clears out before I vacate the premises. That way I’ll save myself the potential embarrassment.
Confession time!
Be honest, have you ever farted in public? Am I the only one that sometimes breaks wind when I pee? How do you try to contain it? Have you ever been in a crowded space and caught a whiff of someone’s silent but deadly delivery? Do you give major side-eye to whomever you think did it? Have you ever lied about farting? Do you only break wind in the privacy of your own home? Have you ever been in bed with someone who farted in their sleep? Are you more likely to pass gas in front of family and intimate partners? Do you think that when couples get comfortable they tend to break wind in front of each other? Is that a sign of true love? Can you actually believe I did an entire post about farting?
Speak your piece…
INFRA RED FART CAUGHT ON CAMERA
I almost threw up. It was horrible and she thought is funny. So from that experience I definitely try to hold mine when Im out in public. You never know who’s gonna walk into that ish. I wouldn’t want to meet some fine brotha somewhere and accidentally let silent one go and have him running for the hills lol!
“Yeah, I Farted So What (Do You Pass Gas in Public?)”