If you wanted to keep the child out of your personal space, cool. If you just wanted him to sit because he was standing not cool. I think it speaks to adults need to control something, more than an issue of respect. This is how many kids wind up molested, kindapped and killed, because they were taught to automatically obey adults.

How many times as a child were you forced to hug or kiss some relative or family friend or even some Miss Millie stranger in the supermarket that thought you were so cute and clean!? How is a kid supposed to discern the difference between good adults and bad if they have to obey them all? I believe children should respect elders but there is a difference between respect and blind obedience.

And please explain to me, why you can’t throw your own trash away Thats not teaching a child respect, thats being lazy!

Something else to consider, if it was a grown man running around not throwing stuff away, being extra loud and bouncing all over the place, (i.e. drunk dude at the club) would you tell him to sit down and be quiet? Probably not, unless he jumped up in your face.

So when little man was in your space, I understand saying or doing something, but if he was just talking too much or jumping around thats not really your concern. Ya’ll in his daddy’s shop!! All up in his space!! If he want to run and jump thats between him and his daddy. And who told ya’ll to give him a cookie? Did you ask his daddy? And why ya’ll giving a 4 year old sugar and wondering why he’s hyper?
(relax, i’m half kidding)

But I do sometimes think adults are just exercising their ego and children shouldnt be taught to do everything strangers tell them.

As far as disciplining someone else’s child I don’t believe anyone that is not involved in the upbringing of a child should be laying hands on them. If you are in that childs life as a permanent fixture then yeah, but if you just passing through, you may need to fall back.

well growing up i was always told to listen to elders etc…but i must say some of them have no ryt to tok to kids the way they do….( abit off topic but had to say it)
Well i think charity begins at home… If you teach your child respect and ol, they will have betta relationships with your friends, relatives and in this case boyfriend / girlfriend, its as simple as that! Plus kids are very territorial, you go where they live, its like walking into a lion’s den, they wan show you whoz boss!
And Yes if i come across a very disrespectful child and a relative for that matter i will spank that lil sod!…only if its a close relative, if not i move away fast coz i cant hold my temper and i wont wan offend the parent by speaking my mind which i usually do anyway…
And i would never date anyone with kids….that is pure responsibility for someone elses buggage ( no offense) But money and time is to be invested in them… Sounds selfish but thats my prefferance!

Yo, CC, U made some great and valid points, but I think you veered off into defensive, angry-mama land b4 you captured the compassion of readers. All I’ma say is Ans, IF YOU think dealing with a child is gonna be like dealing with a military academy graduate–DUDE, stay away from impregnating ANYONE bcuz you are surely gonna go insane or be in jail. I have a great expectation that kids should behave according to our informal agreement in public spaces, at the house you can tear shyt up if that’s what you do, but in public, where we all have to LEARN to go along to get along, there has to be a different attitude, which is ONE area I disagree with Ms semi self-righteous sounding CC. Comparing a busta at the club to a 4 year old is bonkers. BUT, if she wants to know how kids go from being reasonable ppl who can negotiate the give and take necessary for the public square with say a trouble maker heading for Rikers–THIS is where it begins. In your example, I fault the dad for not being able to properly monitor his childs activities; So what he had to go up front, what was he expecting to do with his kid in such cases? He wasn’t around to PREVENT Denise from giving his kid a giant cookie, which was NOT a good move, especially since y’all don’t know how much junk and sugary goods he had already eaten. Maybe that cookie sent him over the top and had him pinging off the walls from that sugar rush. Personally, I wouldn’t want my kid taking food from strangers. I also wouldn’t want to be in a position where leaving my kid around “strangers” was a common thing. Anyways, I don’t feel the need to entertain other peoples kids. I’m all for teaching kids from the school of thought that says: Don’t speak to strangers! But for real, a 4 year old is curious, friendly and they have NO sense of personal space, which is why kids need monitoring from a loving, care giver. Tatto dude put you, Denise and his kid in an awkward, unfortunate position. But for real, if you think you’re gonna have YOUR 4 year old, sittin when you say sit, throwing HIS trash in the trash can and acting like a miniature adult…..YOU, my friend, need to stay away from the maternity ward!

I think CC went off the edge on this one! LOL! I think it takes a village to raise a kid and no matter how old they are, they always need to respect their elders. I know i was raised this way, so it is possible.

@CC

Of course there’s pervs out there and kids shouldn’t blindly follow every adult but getting felt on your booty in the bathroom is way different than listening to an adult tell you not to do something you know you should. See, little man was sitting nice and quiet until pops left then he was running around a tattoo parlor with needles etc. We wasn’t tell him to sit down solely for personal space (although kid was getting in my face way too much and there was no form of communication with me telling him he was too close and that registering) but for safety concerns.

Note: Daddy has known Denise for a while so she wasn’t just a random customer he left his son with, although I was.

@DC

The point more so I was trying to make here is not that kids should be robots that follow instructions. I know that already. I mean, I fooled my moms lovely because I was a quiet kid that didn’t cry and followed instructions and was always well behaved, so she thought all kids were like that. But when she popped out my brothers and sister she saw you had three additional personalities and mannerisms to deal wit.

The point really is about disciplining other people’s kid. Id little man was mine I could talk to him, spank him, punish him, whatever and display some sort of authority and decision making determination on his behavior. When it’s not your kid all you can do really is talk to the kid, if the kid doesn’t listen it’s not really your place to do anything outside the realm of the stranger that you are. I can’t spank the kid, punish them. Well, not really because who the hell am I to run your kid. BUT I would hope that your child has enough respect and home training to know when an adult is telling them to not do something they already know is wrong and wouldn’t do if their mama/daddy was there.

Was the cookie a good idea? No, but he should still know to toss out his own wrapper when done rather than looking at you like you’re stupid and taking it and tossing it on the floor. My kid would have had some sort of repercussions for the behavior.

I think that from my name you can tell that I have 3 children. My children know the difference between when someone is telling them something that I would and something they shouldn’t be doing. I teach my children to obey ALL adults and if they have a problem with it to tell me later. There are TOO many rude children nowadays. I try to raise my children the same way my parents raised me. I’m only 25 and my children say yes ma’am/ sir no ma’am/sir… Many people my age find that weird but I find it respectful… Oh and a man wouldn’t meet my children unless we were more than “dating” and if they didn’t have chemisty (not immediately but eventually) I’d have to let the relationship go. My children come first….

I am a single mom.. And I have been single for a little over three yrs now. My eldest child is 12 and my youngest is 2, both boys. My sons tend to be very picky about who I have around. My oldest will let someone know that he has a dad and I don’t need another one. My youngest does the “donkey”. He doesn’t want any man around his Mom. My friend and I had been seeing each other for about five months. One evening he dropped me off and I invited him in. My kids had already met him, but had never been in our presence like that. Of course my two yr old was in between my legs and all up in my face while I was talking to him, and my 12 yr old had all questions for him. It didn’t go to well. In someone else idea of perfection singles would date only singles and people with children would only date people with children. My oldest son understands that Mom needs someone for her. And that my relationship with him is totally different from my relationship with my friend, and he respects that, but my two yr old I have to constantly reassure him that this person is not trying to “take ” me from him. But, what I do now as a parent is I make sure I date kid friendly men. I prefer to date men with children, and I prefer for them to have custody of their kids. Then, we can all have fun. I would not stop seeing someone because of my children, unless that person posses some kind of threat to my children. My boys are going to grow up and marry and start families and I need to live and grow old with my soulmate. You just have to teach your children the differences in relationships and how to behave around company. I don’t let different men come to my home, I am quite open with my twelve yr old about my friend and what I like about him. And he tells me about what he likes about him. My new friend and I children are in the same age range and it has been really good.

@NWSO – I’m in total agreement with your view. If a child is doing something wrong (something his parent would not allow if he/she were there) you should be able to correct the child. I do not view this as disrespect to a parent. If I had a child and he/she was doing wrong I hope that an adult (in a respectful manner) would correct my child.

I’m with CC and DC (maybe I should change my name to EC – anyways).

Kids will be kids. They cannot be controlled beyond a certain point and quite frankly I don’t think they should be. They are little personalities. I do not believe in “breaking people” and rebuilding them into what I deem right.

I was a quiet child and didn’t cause drama. Yet and still, I’d be damned if I listened to any random stranger just because he or she was older. WTF? I was always argumentative and expected a good fucking reason for what was asked of me. If it was explained to me properly, I’d obey. If it was a “Just because” or “Because I say so” situation on top of me not wanting to do it, I simply wouldn’t. My older brother always said “The only thing you HAVE TO DO is die. Everything else is optional.” That’s been my motto ever since I was 5 years old.

I do not wish to date any man that DOESN’T have children…I mean there are just some things you JUST CAN’T or WON’T understand unless you have them. I would not and do not bring any man roun’ my kids unless I know they have GREAT potential to be in it for the long haul, no point in wasting anyone’s time.(And it’s too many crazy ppl out there.) Because getting along with my kids and respecting that they are people too are two different things. No bond will probably be as great as with their natural father, but I’d prefer that it not be hostile. You have to know them to discipline them. If we’re married I feel you have the right to an opinion concerning them!! And if I’m your wife, I should respect that opinion. It all depends on the situation. If I feel in my gut that your going about something the wrong way, I will say so.

People without kids should try to date people without kids and thee adverse.(just my lil ole’ opinion). But when it comes to love, no one comes in a perfect “Tiffany’s” box!!

I found this quite funny actually. I’m not mad at you for this one. I wouldn’t date someone with bad ass kids either.

I hate to sound like one of those annoying gushing parents but EVERYBODY loves my children. No lie. They’re discliplined, incredibly funny and sweet, like their mama. And it never fails that whoever I like, my children seem to love. No child is a perfect angel but I just don’t see any problems there.

But there does seem to be a bigger issue with potential dating interests who don’t want to raise another man’s children that I clearly see. The whole package deal thing doesn’t sit well with a lot of men.

I say this all the time and it’s an important issue to me. I prefer to build a personal relationship FIRST with a man and give him time to get to know me before he meets or interacts with my children. We don’t all hang out together and he won’t even spend the night if my children are home, not until we’ve clearly estabilshed that we are in a committed relationship. I’m more concerned about MY CHILDREN becoming too attached to someone who might not stick around so I keep the men I date out the picture until I’m sure. I’d totally trust who I’m in a geniune relationship with to discipline them because I look for certain qualities in the men I date. If I like him, he must be on point. If any issues came up between him and my children, depending on what they are, I’d try to work it out if possible.

It sucks when a guy doesn’t even give things a chance because all he can think about my children or my child’s father, who I hardly speak to but I admit we have our share of drama because that’s just a part of life and the way it goes. I don’t even like to disclose that info because I know it’s a turn off but I can’t hide my life and experiences. I have a beautiful family so if a man wants to keep it moving because I’m a single mother who requires a different level of support than other women, well he can walk. I’m better off.

For the single parents, how important is it for the person you’re dating seriously to have a good relationship with your kids?

People I date have not met my children. They barely hear about them unless they’re also a parent. In that case they usually open up dialogue about my children.

Would you break up with someone if you’re kids didn’t like him or her?

If my child did not like someone I was involved with, at their age, I see it as a red flag because they are young. My son doesn’t warm up easily but my daughter loves everyone so if she has a problem with someone, then chances are something isn’t right. But again, if we’re not seriously making moves that include an altar in the future, there’s no need to be around them.

How long does it take before you introduce someone to your kids if at all?

I plan to wait until the engagement stage of a relationship for someone to participate in their lives. Prior to that a few meetings out doors just so the man won’t be an unrecognizable face probably after at least a year of exclusive dating.

Do you feel someone that is not married to you has a right to discipline your child?

If I am going to allow a person to participate in their lives they MUST respect them as they would a family member, period.

But in the beginning I’ve noticed that children are hesitant to listen to what strangers say because they don’t trust them. My son will always think back to what I have said to him to see if it matches what another adult has said to him. If it sounds funny he’ll ask me.

My mom has been a single mom all of my life and we weren’t exposed to everyone she dated. My brother’s father was in my life for 7 years and although he wasn’t my father, I knew he was there to help us and my father wasn’t so I respected him. Give kids credit, sometimes they DO get it.

Does that include a spanking for rude behavior?

I don’t spank often and I’ve noticed that my daughter can just be scared into submission and my son does well when you explain the consequences of his actions or threaten to take certain privileges away.

Time out is fine. Generally my children are on their best behavior with people they don’t know. They like to give mommy a hard time before anyone else.

As a mom of not one, but TWO 4 year olds, things can get hectic and children WILL get hyper and totally excited over sweets. Just last night my daughter went over the edge after having a cupcake from my birthday party, LOL I just told her to set up her chair and have a seat, she did as she was told and they both sat quietly until it was time to start the bedtime routine.

I compartmentalize my life kids, work, school, family/friends and dating for example are all separate boxes. I’d rather not have them overlap.

Mommy, employee, student, relative/friend and vixen! LOL

@ NWSO…I fully understand that you know kids aren’t robots–part of my response was tongue in cheek, so HOPEFULLY, there was no defensiveness from the future daddy to be…lol…but I did plan to return to the central point regarding disciplining other people’s kids. That is a problem and dating a woman whose kids don’t ACT appropriately is a bad look for me and one that will definitely rule a woman out. Some parents have their kids saying yes sir and no sir, which for me is unnecessary because I know you can teach kids to be respectful without going to a point that easily makes “respectfulness” appear trite or fake. I said yes sir/maam as a military member and it didn’t mean JACK on a personal note, it was just part of the script, but didn’t earn REAL respect, just institutional respect and what’s that worth after the sun goes down? I have ALWAYS had teachers, friends and other observers praise the kindness and mature (for their age) respectful behavior of my kids, so I have experiencie in achieving the desired end, through a different mean. But I’d rather have your kids say “yes sir/maam” than yup, or huh, so if that’s what you need to do–do the damn thang. What I tell my kids is true for adults as well: the behavior of your kids IS a reflection of the parenting they’ve received. U have bebe’s kids and think it’s cute or harmless, I have issues with you. Your pre-teen kids know more about dance steps than mathematical formulas and sentence structure, they’re gonna be bussing tables for a living…FOREVER! Snap out of it and do your parenting J O B–the future depends on it!

I totally understand how NWSO feels about the little boy being in his space. This is a place of business where his dads has customers and people do not want to deal with a kid all over them.

I use to go to this hair salon and the lady that did my hair had 2 horrible kids. They would climb up on the chair I was sitting in, they would try to pull my cell out my hand and worse of all they always cried when their mother would tell them to stop or sit down. It was always an issue whenever her children had off from school. I stopped going there 2 yrs. ago because I wasn’t comfortable being around kids that didn’t even listen to their parents. This is her business and running it with unruly kids will have her losing a lot of customers. The ladies that would be getting their hair done would stare and shake their heads at the disrespect these kids had towards everyone.

LOL…
I’m wit ya on the spoiled kids! (Although Ive made exceptions) if given the choice I prefer to date a man without kids! I do strongly believe that people with kids should seek each other and vice versa because there are just things we single, no kid-ed folks just can’t/won’t get or handle well. Sometimes the spoiled brat can also be the daddy, as was the case with my ex who just was SOOO damn extra with his kid that it leaded to a breakup(well, besides a million other things he went overboard on).

This cracks me up more so because my BFF kids are a little bad and DAMN I don’t have to be their daddy or her husband to LAY DOWN THE LAW! Though I’m not a parent I know I’ll be the parent with “the look” or “the bitch” or “Madea” as she likes to call me !LOL!
I’m glad we have that sort of close relationship so that if they see a shoe flyin’ mid air, they know it more than likely came from ME!! But she and they know I love them to death… and they love me just as much!

Respect and love are like money at your job…. earned through work and dedication!

Good Post NSWO!

As a single mother myself, I try to stay conscious of the fact that as much as I love my babies, not everyone will be so fond of them, especially my 5 year old son, Nathan. Talkative, whiny, cant keep still to save his life, I can certainly understand how this would get on other folks’ nerves. Im different; Im mommy. Many mothers are equipped with the a “TUNE YO AZZ OUT” device, that was biologically installed in us at birth, so that when we procreate, we instinctively IGNORE what tends to pester others. Knowing this, I do try to keep him in line in public and in other social settings. The same cant always be said for other parents.

To my brothers: don’t rule out the possibility of connecting with a woman simply because she has children. Children, ionce you’re ready, can bring so much enrichment to your lives, and, at the least, they can be funny as hell!! LOL! Granted, there are DEMON seeds sprouting up around here, but that has more to do with the lack of discipline by the parents. These children are the exception rather than the rule.

Nik

I’m with Mshollywood, Thatchiknik. I think ppl WITH kids work BEST with other persons that have kids, just bcuz there’s added understanding about what goes on, how pre-planning, instead of spontaneity is more the rule than the exception. How a sick child can cause plans to change, or how baby-sitter woes can make an 8 pm hook-up turn into a 9:30 get together and how weekends, when team sports and other events require mommy or daddy to devote “weekend” time to their kids, can require resilience and patience many “single and kid free” persons will NOT be in tune to. AND ready made families, like it or not, are not for every man or woman. So as a dad with a HS and elementary age child, I’m pretty much NOT tryin to deal with kid-less women or women who are empty nesters bcuz that’s a different look, different set of expectations, etc,. Though I try not to totally rule anything out–I have my preferences and they involve women with kids. Everyone’s entitled to their preferences, whether you or I like them or not.

Yeah, that was very well put DC Man and MsH. Gotta agree with you there!

Hmmm! It would appear my post may have been taking more seriously than I intended. Thats why I wrote: (relax, I’m half-kidding). It would also appear I come off sounding like a mom, I”m not. Apparently I also inadvertently gave the impression that I believe children should do what they want, I don’t. However, for the life of me no matter how many times I re-read my post do I see where you came up with any of your conclusions about me DC Man. lol

@NWSO I wasn’t saying your intentions weren’t good. I do believe that you should have told the child to get off you and prevented him from getting into the needles. What I was getting at is as adults we sometimes tend to go on a bit of a power trip when kids are involved for no other reason than its our privilege as an adult. Its also how kids get into dangerous situations and no one really questions it. That’s all.

@MzAshley I think that village to raise a child saying was before the pedophile and the lady cutting babies out of pregnant womens stomaches moved to town. Safer times, simpler ways of life.

@Elle Exactly! That was me as a kid and it obviously carries over to adulthood. Everything you said times two! I respect authority but only if its respectable and respects me.

@ Miss Tiffy and ThatChikNik Most of my friends have kids and it always amazes me when I call or come by how much parents can just tune out. I’m like “You don’t hear little Donshay screaming?” “You don’t see Tianna putting my phone in her juice?!” and then inevitably “Weeelll I better get going….”

I don’t think childless should only date the childless and parents only with parents. To say a childless person doesn’t understand you can’t find a babysitter isnt fair but to say that person is less likely to stick with you when they can find someone that has more time for them, is valid. That doesn’t mean they don’t understand. At this age most people do have kids so whe’ve all dealt with friends or lovers that had to cancel or change plans because of kids. Its just that some singles choose not to take on that responsibility or be second to your kids, some will. At the same time some parents aren’t even willing to take responsibility for their own kids. lol

Hopefully that was clearer. ( Is that a word?)

DC Man makes a good point.

Personally I’d think an out-of-control or rude kid was a reflection of the parenting skills of the person and would make me think that my prospective date and I did not have the same values towards child rearing, hence any relationship is most likely doomed to failure.

I don’t have kids but I used to teach teenagers and elementary age kids and discipline is not a hit and miss virtue.

I have met more men who had the most rotten children in the world!!! My daughter is a teenager now but I know she was not a brat when she was a toddler. I don’t play that at all. To this day, everyone always compliments me on how my child is such a mannerable young lady However, I have noticed that older men with toddlers let their kids get away with murder!! Are the daddies tired? LOL! I don’t get it. However, bad toddlers usually also come with crazy mamas. I try to avoid this scenario becaue my nerves are too bad. LOL! I try to avoid all men with toddlers. Not in the mood.I really have to like you ALOT to date you for any length of time & you have bad kids. I also try to avoid men with ALOT of children. I only have 1 so if you have 5..and they are all youngsters…ummm….

Would I allow a boyfriend to discipline my child? Hell no! And I would not discipline theirs. However, if they had a problem with my child please tell me & I will do the same. Now if I was married to someone that would be different..I think. Most men never meet my daughter. You have to be around for a while before we get to that point.

lmao @ CC, but I also appreciate your playful nature and the way you remain composed though U felt under attack, to a certain degree. Forgive me for missing your “half kidding” line, buried somewhere in that long message…lol…and Ms P, how you NOT gonna allow your husband, who becomes your kids step-father NOT to discipline your kids? How is a man going to live with you as husband, head of household and NOT be able to discipline the kids living under his and YOUR roof? After all, sooner or later, the kids gotta get their own shyt, then it’s you and him, husband and wife. If you trust a man enuff to marry, how can you NOT trust his judgment when it comes to your kids? Granted, teen age kids require serious thought and family discussions before y’all jump the broom, but once a solution is decided upon, the biological parent has to support the step-parent as long as they’re dealing with the kids in an honest and loving manner. And if you can’t do that, WHY did you marry a person whom you don’t trust to discipline kids under his or her roof?

I think this loose form of parenting is why these kids are killing each other at an alarming rate!

The biggest advantage a parent has while raising kids is structure. There also needs to be rules a consequences for breaking said rules. We are such a cesspool of a community we cant trust another person to do the right thing. Kids who dont know how to respect others(especially their elders) will end up being shitty people just like their shitty parents!

I’ve dated men who had children though I never got to meet them because the guy ended up doing something stupid and I cut him off. But I am currently dating a guy who has two sons that are living back in his country with their mother and I always wonder what the future holds for us. He misses them dearly and talks to them sometimes. He even told me that they are good boys and are easy to get along with. That made me feel a little at ease. I know it’s hard for him because due to recession and money issues he’s not able to see them. His sons are 9 and 6. If all goes well I would love to meet them but then there is always the case of being nervous and hoping that they don’t think I’m trying to replace their mother’s place. I guess it depends on the age and proper upbringing of the children. It’s challengng indeed.

Will I date a man with a spoiled brat. Knowing me no because I’ll be ready to pop that sucker upside his or her head especially if they’re old enough to know right from wrong. I’m not abusive but ain’t no kid of mines or anyone else is going to disrespect me. Sorry!

Okay, as a mother of 2 beautiful children I would have too say yes, I would date or marry a man with kids, all because it has always been a dream of mine to have a house full of kids (at least 5). As far as them meeting my children, I would make the person wait until my comfort level with them is out of the “red zone” prior to all of them meeting each other; because I have to make sure that I feel comfortable enough to allow this person to be around the most precious and important people in my life, and I hope that he does the same. When it comes to my kids accepting the one that I am dating, one of things that I make sure is that they know that mommy has someone that she likes very much and they are too respect him…bottom line, I don’t tolerate disrespect (Because, trust, there will be some boxing matches going on at my house!). I know that this is off of the subject, but I work with the public, and I have stopped several times to tell a kid to stop and listen too their parents….I am an advocate for it!

Ok, I have been in this situation before, my oldest daughter despised the one I was dating. She did everything from setting up booby traps to trying to trap him in lies, to be 6 years at the time, she was VERY clever. However, I sat her down and asked her why she did these things. I learned that she didn’t want to share her mother with anybody. I calmly explained to her that I am not going to tolerate this type of behavior, and that she is too respect him and any other adults that are in my house, and I also let her know that mommy is going to meet people and have friends that she will hang out with, and if she didn’t, that I would light her ass up!!! After which she understood, and there were no more problems. I would hate too say that I would not be able to date someone with kids, when I know that dating someone else would have to mean that they would have to accept mine. That’s not cool. Now as far as discipline, I don’t think that I would take in PHYSICAL disciplinary action, but I do agree that when I tell you to do something, damn it hop to it…..I don’t allow my kids to disrespect adults, PERIOD!

Ummm, DC Man I said a man I was DATING could definitely NOT discipline my child. However, I said that I THOUGHT if I was married that would be different. Reading is fundamental…:)

smdh @ Ms P. Uhmm, is stating “I think it would be different were I married, the same as declaring: Yes, I would expect and approve of my hubby disciplining my kids? Duhhh, since you wanna get to the fundamentals of language, A declaritive statement is VERY specific and provides no wiggle room for waffling or fence sitting; no half in, half out B/S that SHOWS you obviously have reservations about DECLARING that the man you would profess LOVE for as a would-be wife, may not be able to run the house as a man SHOULD bcuz you wanna reserve the right to dish out discipline to your child. HOPEFULLY, no proposals are under consideration by you bcuz YOU about to handicap a man before y’all even get near the broom. And what man is goin go for that? FYI: 90 % of men, aren’t having ANY persons living in their house that doesn’t fall under his rule, with the exception being, an equal partner, ie,. WIFE. One day your gonna have to LET-GO bcuz even daughters wanna be grown and free at some point in time….

Before I met my honey, I rarely, if ever, brought someone I was dating around my daughter. And when I did, she didn’t see any cuddling/kissing/etc.

My man has told me “if your daughter was bad, we probably wouldn’t have made it.” He does not tolerate bad ass children. Any children that come around him, if they actin up, he has ways of setting them straight (no yelling, no threats) just ‘this isn’t happening here’. He also uses the ‘distraction’ method. LOL ENGAGE the children, give them something to do, talk to em, something. It also let’s them know that it’s ok to be a kid, but don’t go too far. LOL

OK, i digressed a bit maybe.

I’m proud of myself for helping shape a well-behaved child. A feather in my cap that helped close the deal with Mr. Man! lol

Well I was in a relationship with this lady for over a year it was a long distance relationship and I really cared for and love her I visited her about 4 times in one year and each time spend 1 – 2 weeks with her I notice every time she would leave the child at the sitter but I didn’t understand why until once I visited and she had to work so the child was there most of the time. Her mum would drop her off in the mornings at school and pick her up on her way home. This is when I found out how rude this kid was. The first time was when we were watching a late movie around 21:00ish I told her “the child” you have to go to bed now as its way pass your bedtime and this film wasn’t appropriate for your age. She replied I’m watching the fire! She was referring to the fire we had lit in the fireplace earlier on which is in the same room as the MASSIVE!! Television her mom then said no, it was your bed time, get up and go to your room she then got up slowly walk over to a side table where she had left a half drank glass of orange juice slowly drank it and proceed to walk slowly to her room then she kept repeating. I want to watch the fire! Louder and louder and screaming at her mom how mad she was making her, it continues for a bit until her mom had to spank her butt. After all that she came back down stairs “her mom” and sat down beside me and said how sad she was to have to spank her …I was saying “in my mind” that she took too long to handle her! She should have been on her long before. Then a next time we were at the cinema the kid was eating pop corn and after having her fill she handed it to me and said she didn’t want anymore and I should finish it. so I did! Next thing I know she picked up the empty container threw it on the floor and shouted after me you finish my pop corn! I tried to calm her down by saying relax I can get you another….expecting her mum to step in and maintain some sort of discipline but instead she handed me the money for the pop corn and said thank you baby….well I did get her some more pop corn but as for a relationship with her mom was concern. That scared me off. Listen don’t get me wrong I have kids as well but they respect adults and would never dare behave in that manner I wouldn’t stand for it! I felt as I was been bullied and this kid was only 6 years of age When I was breaking up with the mother she was crying and said how she thought our love would have brought us through I told her, that is what you’re saying now. But later on, you won’t be. because you allowed your child to act that way that simple means you’re ok with it.

I DON’T DATE WOMEN UNLESS SHE HAVE AT LEAST ONE CHILD, BUT ONLY AFTER I SEE HOW HER AND HER CHILD (CHILDERN INTERACT TOGETHER). I WAS DATING THIS ONE YOUNG WOMAN EVERYTHING WAS GOING FINE UNTIL HER DAUGHTER TOLD HER SHE WS HUNGRY, AND HER RESPONES WAS GET THE “F” FROM MY DOOR. MIND YOU ALL SHE WAS DOING WAS LAYING HER HEAD ACROSS MY STOMACH. SO I SAID GO FEED YOUR CHILD HER RESPONSE WAS SHE’LL BE ALRIGHT. THEN I SAID YOU KNOW WHAT I’M HUNGRY; SHE THEN GOT UP OUT OF THE BED TO GO AND FIX ME SOMETHING TO EAT. I GAVE THE FOOD TO HER DAUGHTER AND BROKE UP WITH HER.

P.S. THE POINT IS I’M A GROWN MAN I CAN FEND FOR MYSELF THAT WAS A LITTLE CHILD WHO NEEDED HER MOTHER, I COULD HAVE BEEN AN A-HOLE DOWN THE LINE SHE DIDN’T KNOW, BUT HER CHILD SHE SHOULD SHOW LOVE TO AT ALL TIMES THEY DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN.

CAM: You said a mouth full. There are women that are mothers and then there are the chicks that are just tricks.

I have never commented on this site but this one hit home. I am the momma of two beautiful baby girls, but I don’t introduce them to the new dudes in my life. I don’t think they need to meet random men I meet unless I think he is going to hang around longer than 12 months. They have a daddy who they see every other week for several days. Conversely, I would be a little leery of maintaining a relationship with a dude who introduced me to his kid/kids fairly early in our relationship. They don’t need to meet me, I may be gone by the Fourth of July cook-out!