Body Language will supersede verbal language…

I personally hate when women do this but I leave the issue alone. It’s on them. I got shit to do. I’m not Professor X

I’m with 100L. It’s like a baby crying. The more you respond to it, the harder it is to break the unproductive behavior.

I am the exact opposite, if something is bothering me I am quick to speak up and elaborate, I hate guessing games, and I actually think men are usually guilty of this behavior. They play games, they say yes when they really mean “hell to the naw” and they say “I’d like an open relationship” when they really mean “I can fuck whomever when ever I want, and you have to wait on me to decide when I’m mature enough to just break up with you” or “I’m not looking for nothing serious” really means “I’m gonna call you constantly, text you constantly, and whine about you never returning my phone calls”

These are the chicks who want guys to work hard to find out wtf is wrong with them. Shxt like that is extra annoying and immature. When a man does it, it’s a bxtch move!

Sorry if I sound hostile. This is currently happening to me and I’m pissed.

Then again some females love the attention of a guy always trying to figure out whats wrong with them.

not me….then i used to hear

“Dont you care about me”…

If she aint gonna talk about the issue (which is usually hers in the first place)…no one should force her to

Men are just as guilty as women when it comes to the ‘nothing game’. Both women and men in relationships are reluctant to put their feelings on the table for a number of reasons. Fear of rejection, fear of being perceived as desperate and clingy (which women get accused of all the time whether its warranted or not), selfishness etc etc. It is what it is…

I totally agree with ms.nina, double speak. When things dont go there way then they start to moan.

I flip flop between both ends of the spectrum. I guess that’s where being a Pisces comes into play.

I will use “nothing” when something is bothering but I am not yet ready to discuss it. Sometimes I need to gather and structure my thoughts. Other times, I might be pissed at that very moment but have the feeling that I have no reason to be. Not everything is worth being talked about. So my “nothing” can also be me trying to calm down in order to avoid a fight over complete and utter BS. My “Nothing” translates to “I don’t want to talk about it (yet).” Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t want anyone to dig deeper. Just leave me alone. I’ll come to you when I have something to say. By asking more and more question you’ll make me angry and aggressive which in turn may lead me to say something I’ll regret later.

Yet and still, whatever it is I DO say, I mean it. And quite frankly, most men can’t seem to be able to deal with it. When I have something to talk about, I choose my words wisely but I am also very blunt which leaves people with their jaws dropped.

At the end of the day, both parties have to learn how to deal with both ends of the spectrum – IMO.

Congrats, you finally wrote a blog that we don’t need to argue about. I feel the love gradually coming back into the room.
Personally, I think women say nothing when there is something wrong, but they don’t want to talk about it at that moment. Also, they might say nothing when there too upset to talk about it, and if they start talking about it they might not be able to control their emotions. Lastly, women say nothing because you should already know what the problem is.
Peace.

@Elle

Well said.

@Elle, so instead of saying just that “I’m gathering my thoughts” or simply I don’t want to talk about it right now, hearing nothing tends to mean to me one of two things, maybe three. 1. I want you to figure it out 2. I don’t feel like talking about it or 3. You should already know since it’s your fault.

Body language like any other language is only effective if both parties are familiar with the lingo.

Angry or scared faces and orgasms look the same at times.

I’m with Elle all the way.

I say nothing because I need time to go over things in my head. Chances are if I open my mouth right then it’s not going to come out nicely.

@MARCROOSELER

Well, under normal circumstances I’d say you’re right.

However, due to numerous experiences in that field, I learned that “I don’t want to talk about it” (or something along those lines) opens a whole other can of worms I am really not trying to deal with at that very moment. I have yet to meet a man who simply accepts such a statement. Normally, I am faced with reactions like “No, tell me. I want to know now.” … “What is it that you have to think of a speech before you can tell me?” … “You need to be able to talk to me about what’s bothering you. Bottling things up is not good.” … blah blah blah

Most men are simply structured creatures who can deal with a “nothing” much better than some gloomy sounding “We’ll talk later.”

But again … that’s just based on very personal experiences.

As it relates to my realationship most time I know when my SO is hiding “something” behind “nothing”. It’s just a skill I’ve aquired from being with him so long. Like it was stated before his body language changes and I can tell he’s picking his words carefully, like he’s trying not to hurt my feelings.

I on the other had always want to speak my peace when I’m not happy. Well not always sometimes my emotions are to caught up and I’ll throw a “nothing” out there just so I’ll have the chance to get my emotions under control.

How about a teenager plagued with the “nothing” syndrome?

What’d you do in school today?

Nothing.

You seem to be a little down lately. What’s going on?

Nothing.

What do you want for dinner?

Anything.

What are your plans for this weekend?

I don’t know.

…10x more frustrating and completely unavoidable…

HA! Such a familiar topic… I can’t speak for all women, but if it’s something we’ve already discussed – why should I keep telling you when you are pretty intelligent enough to get it the first time? And in agreeing with a couple of previous posts: yeah men do this too… then when they cheat they say – it’s because you weren’t doing this and you weren’t doing that or you always do this: yet when I asked you -the man – said nothing was wrong and everything was perfect…

go kick rocks…

I agree with Elle.

Both genders are guilty of the “nothing” syndrome. I used to say it more often and it meant I didn’t want to or wasn’t ready to talk.Now, I say exactly that.If a “nothing” slips out due to habit, I try my best to say “Babe its a nothing that means something and I’m not ready to talk about it”

This question will never go answered… just like the question… why cant men just be real and not tiptoe around answering serious questions. We have to trick you because if we just come out with it your guard automatically comes up…

Either way… I shall be at the shindig on thurs.

I say that when I’m really pXssed off at my guy…and I need to go over things in my head. Chances are if I really spoke my mind right then, it wouldn’t be rated PG or nice.

Plus… if we say what’s on our mind .. we get accused of being clingy, needy, naggy, bXtchy, whiny, etc……

Either way .. we lose out.

Men are definately just as guilty. But men tend to be more whats wrong and if you want to talk about it great but when its flipped and you ask whats wrong men seem to shut down. When they are having problems they are “MEN” so they can handle them on their own regardless if it involves you or not. However when I say nothing its just that nothing, or at least its nothing i want to talk about at that moment. If i have a problem directed towards you i’ll come to you if not then leave it alone. I dont always like to open up and talk about whats bothering me sometimes i have to take time and think about it and in the end I realize how dumb i was for thinking it in the first place and just let it go. Better than bring up something thats just simply on my mind if its not important.

I am known to have the “nothing” discussion all the time. I use it because usually there may not be nothing really on my mind, i may have something or do not want to share it, or I am so emotional that i can’t even describe how I feel at that moment. Its not that I won’t tell you, I just won’t at that certain time. I always feel the need to really think hard as to why I feel this certain way and make sure its not over BS. I hate revealing my emotions or my thoughts on the spot because I do not want to come as selfish, attatched, cling, or anything. I just don’t want to give anyone especially a man that satisfaction.

Just because I CAN exasperate a man (or any other person) doesn’t mean I should. It’s immature to say one thing and mean something else. In my experience, a man who cares enough to ask a woman what’s on her mind vs reveling in the silence deserves a straight answer. We should take note of this post and just answer the question(s) honestly:
If you’re not ready to talk about it, tell him that…
If you think he should already know what’s wrong, tell him again…
If you are just vieing for attention…sorry…I can’t help with that one *shrugs*…

@Optical Illusion

That “nothing” just means mom, i’m young and you’re “old” so mind your own business because you wouldn’t understand. LOL

AMEN!@ DJ Ghost’s and Eb’s posts

Where is the fairness in not telling your S.O. that you’re feeling some kind of way about the relationship, something that was said or done, and then just up and leave one day without allowing any room to work on the relationship.

I hate when I have to fabric my statement/question to a point where there is absolutely no kind of wiggleroom left.

Our “nothing” is harmless compared to that.

lol @ Elle, cuz she has sooo many co-signers….BUT, she does make sense and seems to have pretty thoroughly covered the topic…However, I think as time goes on and men mature…WE eventually get to a place where ” nothing ” is acceptable and cool….My view is this: I can’t think of all the options and possibilities “nothing” can encompass and I can accept ” I don’t want to talk about it now ” without racking my brain about the unknown. I’m like f*ck it, if your mood and non-verbals says LMTFA…alone you will be until such a time as you’re feeling social and are willing to either LEAVE that shyt alone or discuss it. No sense in me allowing you to ruin MY day, just bcuz you have issues you’re still processing….I need to be alone sometimes too–so I can respect a woman needing a minute to gather herself……AND women often don’t want solutions and answers…they just wanna vent, which I’m down for hearing–some times, other times, call your girlfriend cuz I’m a problem solver….So despite our bumps here and there…I think me and Elle could Almost work together on a hook-up tip………..lmao…..

I’ve had a whole lot of nothing conversations with guys … and i’ve been on the recieving end … so it’s not like “nothing” is restricted to us women.
Though given women do it a whole lot more than guys. Somehow i doubt we’ll ever reach a suitable conclusion as to why “nothing” ever comes up.

I say this when I’m so mad I can’t say anything else without saying “You’re being a total dick and we are not having this discussion in front of the kid because I’m not going to have him see his daddy get dissed.” or something on those lines.

I used to hate it when people say “nothing” when they mean something big is going on. I know from experience that if my husband asks me what’s wrong and I say “I am not ready to talk about it”, he’s going to needle me until I spill the beans; usually to disastrous results. I’m too mad, I can’t control what I say just yet, if I’m going to be talking at that moment it’s going to get ugly. Later when I’m calm and the time is right and I can talk without yelling or swearing or saying cheap and insulting things, THEN we can discuss. But he’s just got to know what IT is, which I understand perfectly, I would too.

I’m not going to call him out while we’re in public or in front of anybody else. If we have a problem it’s our business – not the rest of the world’s.

I give the answer nothing all the time because whenever I try to talk to him about something he never wants to hear it. If I say ‘baby I have something I wanna tell you’ he cuts me off because he thinks he knows what I’m gonna say. Or he just doesn’t wanna hear it. SO when he asks if anything is wrong my answer is ‘nothing’.

@ DJ Ghost ….Unless a specific issue continuoulsy re-occurs at the same point and time…HTF is a guy to know WE already talked about this issue that you’re AGAIN mad about? What sense does it make to continually be upset about MY driving–but you continue to get in the car with me? What sense does it make for you to get upset when I order for both of us each time we go out—but you still with me? U expecting your attitude to change me? Or are you accepting the man you’re with for who HE is? Bcuz if you’re trying to change a dude……..Who’s the one with the problem?
@ Eb…….lol…..Ok, so dudes says nothings wrong, but then he dips bcuz he’s got another woman and b4 parting, he says: if you was doin X,Y & Z, he wouldn’t be with the new chick? come on now, shortee….That has to be the most LAME excuse for dippin KNOWN to man. How aobut: my side piece just got promoted to the main piece, but I’m still confused about what I want or I refuse to settle down and think LYING to women about my intentions is the only way to go? You know how some of y’all get when you think you’re in love…and you might well be in love…it’s just that DUDE isn’t in love with YOU…..TRUE, why can’t he just say so and let you decide if you still wanna deal with him…YEAH, right! Actually, he probably DID, you just ignored the signs…” I love you ” with NO action, no discernable movement or discussion about WHAT that means is a problem many women MISS seeing bcuz they heard those words ” I love you ” and went with their own interpretation of what that means and how it looks……..sounds like you’re an equal party to the problem in this scenario….

FYI 4 the ladies…If a dude just ups and leaves without providing any chance to work on the relationship…guess what? Dude is DONE…so ain’t nothing to work on. Leaving doesn’t require unanimous consent by all parties, though IDEALLY, that’s how it should be. And you should not have to parse your statements down to a scientific notation in order to NOT provide any wiggle room, but maybe there’s something about the way you present information that dudes in YOUR past relationships find threatening, intimidating, or too aggressive? Might it be the messenger?
And if you approach a dude with the “baby we need to talk ” line…Come the f*ck on…Are you kidding me? That line has RARELY resulted in a dude hearing good, positive information. U don’t say ” baby, I have something to tell you ” to announce U just hit the lottery…Naw, U don’t preface “baby I’m gonna rock you world tonight bcuz it’s your birthday, with that line…..

@ Dc Man with a Plan…I’m with you on this one!

I only ask once. If she says nothing, then I say ok and keep it moving. There is no need to play games and I’m not psychic. When she’s ready she will tell me.

This definitely brings me back to me my know-nothing 20’s…I was the absolute queen of saying ‘nothing” when it was damn well SOMETHING. I blame it partly on being young and not understanding that
A. the way men and women communicate are vastly different
B. As women we need to stop the passive-aggressive sh*t and own whatever it is we are thinking and feeling.

I agree with most of my female posters–’nothing’ is just our way of buying some time in order to gather our thoughts and not morph into “Angry Black Woman.”

On the other hand, men do want it both ways–if we do say what’s on our mind, then we are just being a nag. While some guys are sincere in asking “what’s wrong?”, for others it’s more like a reflex, to mean “I hope you’re not going to fuck up my day.” So it becomes about them trying to manage and ‘fix’ you, so you don’t interrupt their world.

I will ask you once. If you say nothing, then I leave it alone. But if after that you keep sulking or whatever, I will ask wth is the problem because I am not a mind reader. If you still don’t want to tell me, I’ll let you know that when you’re ready to talk or over whatever it is, hollat at me and then I’m leaving/hanging up the phone. I’m not about to coddle you and keep asking questions because I don’t like for people to do me like that. When a person is ready to talk, they will. I learned a long time ago that men talk on their own schedule-pushing them to “share their feelings” will usually get them to do the opposite. JUst leave ‘em be.

Every blue moon I might throw in a nothing but usually I’ll just give a general overview with it (it’s work/friends/school, etc). If I’m pissed at you, you will know it-no point in making you think you’ve done something wrong and you haven’t.

Sometimes “nothing” IS nothing (for me anyway). Sometimes I have private thoughts that don’t concern anyone except me and don’t necessitate sharing.

@Dc Man with a Plan
“they heard those words ” I love you ” and went with their own interpretation of what that means and how it looks.”

Unfortunately, I agree with you. My response to the first “I love you” is always, “what does that mean?” (It takes some of the romance out of it, but hey, I need to know what’s what.)

“If a dude just ups and leaves without providing any chance to work on the relationship…guess what? Dude is DONE…so ain’t nothing to work on.”

I agree. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise when it happens. Especially if I’ve asked what’s wrong or what’s going on with you on numerous occasions and you responded with “nothing” every time.

LMAO @AnyaEm
“While some guys are sincere in asking “what’s wrong?”, for others it’s more like a reflex, to mean “I hope you’re not going to fuck up my day.”

Cosign.

@DC Man with a way too long …. name

“FYI 4 the ladies…If a dude just ups and leaves without providing any chance to work on the relationship…guess what? Dude is DONE…so ain’t nothing to work on. Leaving doesn’t require unanimous consent by all parties, though IDEALLY, that’s how it should be. And you should not have to parse your statements down to a scientific notation in order to NOT provide any wiggle room, but maybe there’s something about the way you present information that dudes in YOUR past relationships find threatening, intimidating, or too aggressive? Might it be the messenger?”

Yea, basically you’re on point. But what kind of world are we living in or what kinds of guys are we dealing with who display said behaviour?
I’ve come across a fair share of guys who love to resort to playing dumb and insisting on otherwise unimportant details in semantics. What’s a girl to do when trying to determine the difference between a true misunderstanding/ miscommunication and jedi mind tricks?
All suggestions from your male POV are welcomed.

LoL@hook up remark … two strongly opinionated folks in one room?

I completely agree with Elle. I use to do the nothing routine before but I’ve since grown up and am open about how I feel. I’m currently dating someone who I feel so comfortable with, I tell them whatever it is I’m feeling….most of the time. For those rare times when I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll say I don’t wanna talk about it right now and he’s knows that I will tell him later. But then, I have those times when a nothing will slip and it’s because I’m having feelings that I feel I shouldn’t.

Example, if I come across a picture of him and his ex, my mood may change and he may ask whats wrong. I’ll say nothing and go sit by myself. lol I’ll calm down, realize I have nothing to be upset about and then tell him later what it was I was feeling. He’ll give me his input and then maybe a little reassuring and then all is well. The same applies with him. If I ask him what’s wrong and he tells me nothing, I’ll ask him if he’s sure. If he says yes, I let him know that I’m here when he wants to talk.

I do think a lot of women have communication issues not only when they are upset but in general. Most men don’t talk and discuss things like women do and a lot of women haven’t realized that yet. So the way they do communicate will sometimes be uneffecitive.

Reading all the responses from the men has made me decide to be more conscious about loosely using nothing. So for the times I say it, and there is really something to m nothing, I’ll try to correct myself and say what Kat said “Babe its a nothing that means something and I’m not ready to talk about it”

Sounding like a broken record I agree with Elle but DC man also has a point.

In a relationship I’m usually the one to answer “nothing” all the time. Mostly because I don’t feel like arguing at the moment, she can’t do anything for me, it really isn’t that big of a deal, or there really is nothing going on.

It does piss me off when I say “nothing” or “I don’t feel like talking about it” and she keeps asking about it and gets all worried. I hate people worrying about me.

LMBAO @ AnayaEm. …That was some funny ish you put down..It is more funny bcuz it’s more TRUE than not…..No man wants his parade rained on…..I guess it goes back to that old adage: women: can’t live with them, can’t live without them…….I guess for MANY guys, this blog topic is inseparable from it’s twin: Why can’t women shut the f*ck up….but that’s a whole different topic we not tryn to get into….HEY, it was a JOKE…chillout.
@ my main Virtual baby, Latsyrc41 (I still want that to mean something like: Latasha, Syracuse, age 41) you’re correct, it should NOT come as a surprise that dude is bouncing…but again, and unfortunately, U gotta read the non verbal signs: when dude ain’t tryin to sex you no mo…4-Sho, the end is near. And if you do ask, ” baby, what’s wrong? ” how does a man say: Bytch, you are what’s wrong! I just need a new, younger you….or some new azz…..How is THAT communication likely to be received? Exactly, so dude ain’t sayin SHYT…until he got a new place to live; until he got ALL his CD’s out of your car; Until he repays the loan you made to him, bcuz he doesn’t wanna give you ANY reason, to be callin his azz after he gets to steppin……….At least THAT’s what I heard…………lmao…BTW: I am NOT to be taken seriously….this is for ENTERTAINMENT purposes only!

LOL. @ mostly everyone’s statements.

I can only judge by my own standard, So if a guy is acting all huffy and puffy, I won’t ask him anything. In my head, I think “When he’s ready to talk about it, he will bring it to me.” It may be harsh, but he’s the one with the problem. when he is ready to solve it, he will do something about it. I know, sometimes people exhibit such emotions to get the other person to instigate a discussion, but that’s so childish to me. (Heaven forbid I actual date a moron who exhibits behavior like this, totally unacceptable).

Honestly, I can be a little emotionally detached at times. I hate it when people get over emotional and behave irrationally. So if I am upset, nine times out of ten, I am not going to show it. I won’t sulk until I am ready to discuss whatever problem I have with you. And depending on how upset I am, I may have to limit our interactions until I calm down (I hate to be a party pooper). But it doesn’t take me that long to be ready to discuss it either. I would bring it up just for the simple fact that I am tired of thinking about it and I am too busy to stay upset. I like to keep things pushing. I say my peace, you absorb it, we discuss it, we move on. Life is way too short to be playing games.

My question to people who do say “nothing” when it’s “something,” Why even show that you’re upset if you are not ready and unwilling to discuss what you’re mad about?

@ Lois

Sometimes you can’t hide your emotions. Somethings overwhelm you or sometimes you just don’t catch your first reaction right away. Personally, I wouln’t want to hide my emotions. I want my mate to know that I’m upset but I have enough respect for them and me to calm down so I can speak to them like a person with respect. Because like someone has mentioned before, if I talk to you while I haven’t calmed down a notch or two, I might say something you will no like and I may regret. I’m more than willing to discuss what I have on my mind. On those rare occassion where I may say nothing but it’s really something, My request is just let me calm down and get my thoughts together.

I havent read any comments but here I go.

There is no reason for anybody over 25 to not express what it is thats on their mind in! If you rather not talk about it say that ,but to behave in a childish manner just because your upset doesnt do anybody any good.

@Dc Man with a Plan
Not quite…on the name thing

SMH @ everything else you said.

@ Royalty

…ok… So you will show that you’re upset, and sulk, but don’t want to talk about it? That doesn’t make sense to me. you already know by showing that you’re upset, your mate is going to ask, “what’s Wrong?” Do you really think you’re making it easier on your mate by not being forthright? Keeping them in suspense, letting their imagination play with their minds? And so now, not only are you upset with whatever they’ve done, they’re upset that you’re upset but unwilling to talk about it. When you finally do tell them, a lot of times, they wish you had told them what was wrong when it happened in the moment, instead of letting them think it was something much worse.

Personally, I do too much to remember every little thing I do and say (after all we are creatures of habit). So if you don’t bring to my attention, what I have done to upset you, when I do it, I probably won’t remember to curb that behavior. after all, it most likely is a behavioral pattern. we train people how to treat us. I see this situation kind of like child rearing, if you don’t scold a child the moment that they exhibit unacceptable behavior, then when you finally decide to scold them, they are confused, cause they are thinking, “if it was that upsetting to you, why didn’t you whoop me when I did it? Why wait 3 days? it must be something else that you are taking out on me”
i am sure everyone have heard the phrase “nipping things in the bud”

Oh, when I am pissed you know my “Nothing” is a BIG something. I try to keep my temper to myself until it simmers down a bit.

If I am silent that means get the hell out, I need time. At least a few hours….

If I ask his ASS to leave he won’t………

So yeah, if he don’t want to brawl and have things thrown around he’ll give me my space. Oh and don’t try to keep asking me …..Uuuurrrrgggghhhhhhhh !!!! When I can talk like a civil person, then I will call him. It’s up to him to answer!

Agree with DC Man

I saw this story years ago where a couple actually wrote a letter to each other every night with “the things you did today that I loved” and “the things you did today that I didn’t like”.And they had to be honest in the letters.They said it was easy because they didn’t have to worry about confrontation.

After reading each other’s letters they made a conscious effort to be better to each other the next day.

I would rather do it verbally before going to bed.But communication is very important.if you don’t talk..the other person will not know what’s wrong.Kinda like expecting the man to know exactly what you like in bed without telling him what makes you tick.

But I have to say….men are pretty up front with us…we just read more into it that what he actually says.We be on a mission to change him…and we fail every time.Accept what he tells you or be prepared to paddle upstream with a comb.

Ok I feel that it’s not US women that don’t know how to communicate…….IT’S THE GUYS!!!!! Guys seem like it will literally KILL them to say what’s on their mind, for the life of me I will never understand. Ok but then again I guess it goes both ways because when women(not all)get mad we tend to start yelling and screaming and going off with the finger pointing and neck rolling, so I guess we are at some fault. For the most part guys don’t know how to communicate even if you are calm and humble about the situation. I think the best way to get a response out of a man is either (A) after sex or (B)after a lengthy time of ignoring him.
Communication is the key to any relationship and issues should be addressed among both sexes not just one…..

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

@ litrisha….after sex they usually fall asleep…lmao.You probably have to do it naked and before you offer him any.

@litrisha
“For the most part guys don’t know how to communicate even if you are calm and humble about the situation.”

Definitely cosign on that one!

@ Elle,

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

Sometimes my nothing means just that, nothing. Just thoughts I’d rather keep to myself. Other times, I don’t wanna talk right now cuz I’ll prolly overreact. I need time to cool down and think before I speak.

@Elle
I also agree!

@Latsyrc and Paulette

Ok so I forgot something…..let me just add to (A) and (B), ok (C) unless they just got finished eating a home cooked meal, maybe, MAYBE you just MIGHT get something out of him….a nod or something-LOL
That’s a shame though because we are NOT mind readers you know?

@litrisha
Yeah, I was going to mention food…LOL.

I got divorced behind this exact issue. My ex-husband’s reply to just about everything was ‘nothing’. The context in which he used the term ‘nothing’ was a form of control/manipulation: don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing; this conversation is over, you are not, will not be privy to my thoughts.

‘Nothing’ is fine when you’re not attached to a person. You take the word at face value and keep stepping. No need to read between the lines.

Occasional ‘nothing’ are nothing to get upset about…you can’t sweat everything in relationships, and we all need enough personal space just to be whatever – and that has to be respected.

However, when you care for a person, in what ever way that manifests – son, brother, lover, husband, best friend, etc. their HABITUAL responses of ‘nothing’ to queries about their well-being are alienating and foster mistrust.

Communication doesn’t have to be equal or exactly the same, but it does need to be reciprocated, respected, and valued.

It’s not that men don’t know how to communicate, it’s just that men and women are completly different. Men are simple and women are complicated and try to make everything complicated when there is no need.

Dang…how did we get here? This shyt got all personal…and sounds like y’all ladies been dating the same SORRY-AZZ MO-FO, but NOW you pretending he represents ALL of us. F*ck that noise. No shyt, communications is key, so why U sneaking shoe boxes and new hats in the house? Bcuz we said we were going to save our money to go on a serious vacation or to buy that condo so we can rent it out and you therefore are not supposed to buy anything over 40 bucks–but you saw this SALE and just had to have them? WTF? y’all ladies talkin about selective communications–or communications in general? There is enuff mis-communication to go around. I’m sure EACH of us has been guilty of it at some point in time–some more than others, but this is definitely not a MALE issue. Guys communicate among one another ALL the time…The key is brevity, precision, timing. I just walked in the house–this is NOT the time to hit me with some attitude B/S…I’m heading to the ‘library,’ sports page in hand; U can NOT follow me into the bathroom to chat… I just sat down to make a call to my mom, watch my recorded TV program–NOW yo-azz wanna “share” what you been holding onto ALL day….YO, hold onto it for another hour, then holla back…lol…This is why ery’body in a relationship needs their own place…..Take YO-azz home, or I’ma take MY azz home…and we can discuss it on the phone…and I know you’re ready when you answer…and U know I’m available when I answer…how cool is that?
@ Paulette… I LOVE that article you shared about the couple passing notes to one another…as you stated, no matter HOW you do it, communication is key…Timing helps too.

and true, the response “nothing” can TRULY mean there is nothing wrong, or it can mean there is something wrong, but you don’t want to discuss it now, or it can mean there is something wrong, but it doesn’t pertain to US: but if you have an attitude–NOW, that shyt ain’t workin.

I am also guilty but have realized over time that my feelings and concerns will not be discussed sufficiently if I continue to languish in the world of “nothing.”

Usually when a woman says “nothing” it has to do with how she’s feeling i.e. she feels he’s not making her a priority in his life the way she does for him.

But usually when a man says “nothing” it has to do with something he did i.e. He lost his job (again) and hasn’t told her or he’s cheating or (filll in the blank)….

I agree with some of the responses here. I’m going through the same thing right now. When I asked if there’s a problem he begins to act childish … I leave it until he feels like talking. It’s crazy.

When looking for a mate you have to know what you are the key things that you want and never settle for less then the “KEY THINGS”. Communication is always a key thing in a relationship.

Being a woman I always say what i mean (sometimes) and mean what I say, but with that comes the label of me having an attitude, just because I want to voice my opinion.

It’s too easy to generalize here.

I have been with women who were horrible at communication while others were straight up like I am.

Women run on emotions, not logic, that is why it’s hard for them to say what they mean.

Sometimes they can verbalize what they mean because it’s caught in an emotional web.

You want to get straight answers unfiltered out of a woman?

Ask her questions after you’ve been pounding her punani for a good hour or so and she had a few multiples.

When I’m mad, I answer “nothing.” I think I just need a little time to steam.

But then, on the other hand, I really want my husband to keep asking and pull the answer out of me. I don’t know why I’m like this, but I am. I guess I feel like he cares if he pursues it. Don’t know why I don’t want to answer him initially!! LOL!

Guys…it’s okay. Chill.
Firstly, some women simply don’t like talking about their problems.

There are several possible reasons for this.
Maybe she doesn’t like complaining.
Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about it just then.
Maybe the problem is very personal.
Maybe you should step back and see what kind of LISTENER you are.
For all you know, she’s tried talking to you about things before and you don’t respond like you care.

Secondly, she’ll talk to you when she is ready to do so.
Getting angry will just push her away.
If you really want to be there for her, then do just that. Tell her that you can see something is wrong, and remind her that you are there if she needs you, anytime.
Eventually she will.

However, before you start huffing and puffing because your partner isn’t telling you everything, ask yourself this question:
“Why do I want to know?”

If the answer is because you want to be there for her and are genuinely concerned that something is wrong, then just show that and she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.

But if you want to know what’s wrong because you’re upset that she’s holding something back from you and not giving you exactly what you want when you want it, then you’ve found your reason why she’s not telling you.

And honestly, in that case I would give her my full support.

@Scarlette

Just because your having issues dont give you a pass to behave like a child.

Da throne you really got something to say about everyone elses statements you really need a life

@MizzRenea

Maybe.