In so many ways it shames me to say this but I find myself in this situation right now. It is bad because he is an ex and he is currently in a relationship with another woman. A woman who has had his child. A woman he has built a home with. I am young (23) and we have been going back and forth since I was 17 years old. We always make out but I stop it before it turns to sex because I do not want to totally disrespect this woman even though I am totally disrespecting her. I can not help that I am so drawn to him. I try to stay away but he keeps coming in and out of my life. I should be strong and turn him away when he shows up. But I don’t and that is so very sad. I let him take control of my body and before we reach the point of no return I always have to be the one drawing back because I know he would never be the more responsible one. I just can’t help that he gives my body chills that make me crave his touch every time I see his face or hear his voice. I was just telling him the other day that nothing will ever happen between us until he leaves her and I don’t think he ever will. He said what makes you think she is incapable of leaving me. My response was oh she never will do that, you would have to step up and end it but that would be wrong to dead your family just to fuck with another woman. oh my. I just told me story and counseled myself at the same time. Thanks for this post, NWSO.

I showed self control and I regret it! I should have left her with a great memory. And I would have had one myself. Sometimes its best to just lose yourself in the moment.

Yes I’ve had that experience and our sexual tension was palpable..I quivered every time I saw him, I had lustful thoughts whenever he walked by and no I didn’t walk away but had great times for the next 4 months—by then I was given no choice but to walk away…Worse part we worked together and whenever I walked by an empty office, or bathroom, I had flashbacks.

Today, I would be strong enough to walk away. Been there and done that. But this post was so on point sexual tension is a mofo and will make you do things should not but the body is calling and you succumb…so true.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

that is all.

lol

Been on all sides of this scenario…The frustrator and the frustratee. The holding out and the letting go. My final prognosis…”Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but Abstinence makes ya balls go bluer”jk

wow….. i dont think i have any self control when in it comes to something i want..
i’m hoping answering your questions lets me gain , a certain amount of insight and self realisation.

Have you ever found yourself drawn to someone you couldn’t have?
if i let my mind have his way , i think i ve a masculin brain….. who is gay, since i am hetro, but ,.., def wrong brain in wrong body.
this was not so much couldnt have, but i should not have been with.

How did you deal with the sexual tension?
let it take over everything , the last second.

Was there ever someone in your life that you couldn’t keep your hands off of?
i need to live a lil more of it… hopefully that person stays on and the undying chemistry is not a myth.

Did you give in and let them ravage your body?
heart soul body, both times, it destroyed me. and my stupid philosophies , one of em being , to never hate and hold a grudge, i keep the lines of communication open, allowing such disturbing elements to return and break me, over and over again. resilience has worked till today, but i see myself being cautious now on.

Would you be strong enough to walk away from someone you wanted physically but knew was not right for you in the long run?
today , i would.

Yeah this is a very familiar scenario as i walked away from my situation and then found myself face to face with it a couple of weeks ago and nothing had changed, feelings were the same, desires still the same, needs on my side might be a lil different but that ‘animal magnetism’ was still pulling ..I am quite happy to indulge in what this person gives ME but I know it is not going anywhere which is possibly why I am attracted to them and the lack of responsibility I feel around them. Selfish I know but true.
If I thought I couldn’t walk away I doubt that head on collision would have happened the other week.

My…My…My

I was on that side of things a time or two with women that were dating friends of mine and though acknowledged, we never did it or messed around but damnit, the temptation is worse when knowing your boy is a dog…but that might be another subject altogether.

Trenton
wrote on July 1st, 2009
I showed self control and I regret it! I should have left her with a great memory. And I would have had one myself. Sometimes its best to just lose yourself in the moment.
__________________

Sounds just like me, dealing with this now. I am the epitome of self-control and self-discipline. It’s very rare that I allow myself to lose myself in any moment. There are always too many “What if?” questions going through my mind and they’re always negative.

Let me stop rambling. I just know that I can relate to Trenton.

I was so drawn to a particular man that I felt I would lose my mind if I couldn’t have him….the man made me so weak with desire I could hardly contain myself…anytime I saw him my skin instantly became flushed, heat would rise throughout my body, my breathing would become labored…shallow, heartbeat faster and when we were within inches of eachother I felt as if I could not breathe…pure primal urges… intense…man I can’t even explain it…thinking about it now I don’t know what it was about him but he did something to me…I would ache for him when he wasn’t around…. I haven’t experienced anything like that since…..

Have you ever found yourself drawn to someone you couldn’t have?
yes I could have him in moments but not have him to hold etc
How did you deal with the sexual tension? we argued and riffed ALOT early on LOL
I tried to stay away, deny what I felt, not be alone together, not see him period
Was there ever someone in your life that you couldn’t keep your hands off of?
yeah same dude
Did you give in and let them ravage your body? yessssssssss, after 3.5 years, I couldn’t not know anymore
How was the sex? EXQUISITE
Would you be strong enough to walk away from someone you wanted physically but knew was not right for you in the long run? I wallked away but still struggle with staying away, there are times when I want to see him, hear his voice, feel him, smell him, even his smell,(phermones) drove me wild..like the old school cartoons when something that smelled really good would reach out and touch you LMAO..that is him LOL

Serious co-signage Mz.C LOL
I could even sense his presence when he was near, and when we were close my heartbeat would race, knees would get weak, butterflies would take flight inside….SMH

@ Kwana – yea we had it bad lol….don’t know how I would act if I saw him now……heard he’s getting married….oh well I got my memories…those were good times…good times lol

@Spinster and @Trenton

In the same boat.

There’s that one that I still think about.

wow…quite interesting, but it makes me wonder, do women seem to experience this more than men? At any rate, I recall an instance when I KNEW I shoulda walked away bcuz I was WRONG…but I’ma chock it up to being young, foolish and the “IDGAF” attitude that oftens accompanies men during their early 20’s… .AND, this is also the time I came to realize: separated isn’t the same as divorced….Bad chick I was flirting with, she was separated from her hubby…kept inviting me over after her kids were put to bed…taunting me with, U scared? Finally, after doin all that phone sex shyt, I was like: hell yeah, I’m comin ova….Long story short: I was STROKING that azz…..then heard the door and footsteps, turns out, hubby still had a key and the code to the alarm! Runnin down the street with your clothes half on is kinda difficult…..explaining to my live in gurl how I lost my cell phone and why some dude kept callin the house screaming about his wife, was more difficult, but it made staying away from HER from that point on, REAL easy…..lmao…..

For folks like myself and Trenton and Latsyrc41 who rarely let loose (correct me if this is wrong to assume this about you two), how do you just let go and let loose without worrying about possible negative consequences? How do you just indulge in the moment and not have a care in the world during that time (or even afterwards)?

It must be nice to be able to do that.

WOOOOOW! @ DC Man with a Plan…smh

I’ve given into temptation and I’ve resisted. Not as good at resisting as I want to be. I’m learning though that in the long run if you have to ask yourself “should I?” you probably shouldn’t. If you have doubts, you’re having them for a reason. WALK AWAY.

I try to not do to another woman what I wouldn’t want done to me and while I’m a very private person when it come to love, sex and magic, there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy…

To answer your pondering DC, not sure if we experience this more than men…I think we get propositioned a lot and sometimes have to ask ourselves in he in it for just the ass or might there be more to it…and if it’s just for the ass, will i be hurt that there’s nothing more??….

Good one Ans.

Come on, Ice….Sometimes, SOME women just wanna be hit off, no strings attached. It can’t be just MEN in all these complicated situations. I was reading some material from one of NWSO’s fellow bloggers, single girl, and saw this article about women who want to get with a baller during the NBA draft parties or Allstar game weekend. And I’ll betcha, there’s gonna be a lot of f*cking going on during the Essence festival this weekend between ppl who just met and do not want to, nor expect to, see one another EVA again…..U probably have girlfriends going down to N.O or who have been there and are playing the: what happens in Vegas, N.O, Jamaica….Yeah, right.
Anywho, for Latsyrc41, Spinster and Trent…..who can’t let themselves be ‘free’ to do what your body wants to do….Y’all who can’t let go bcuz you’re too logical and always end up over thinking shyt, etc,. Hey, everything isn’t for everyone, but I’m sure there is SOME area in life, that yo-azz is off the chain in while me and others would be like: WTF? Are U kidding me? Maybe you sleep in an air chamber or rinse your dyck off with alcohol and think it makes perfect sense……lol….But there is SOMETHING you do that wouldn’t be normal to ME or others….lol….. As long as you know how to have fun—sometimes, you’re not missing much. Being a regular, normal kinda guy (or lady) is just that, normal. Take heart, Y’all are “special.” Lmao….

I completely lost my self in this man i am with now!
I felt bad, at first cause the chick that introduced me to him was acting like that was her man. But as we chilled at the”so called party”…our (me and dude) chemistry just was too strong. The old head this biznitch called herself trying to hook me up with kept coming at me with his game…but all i could see was “dude”…he asked for my number, ol girl was right there…i asked her in front of him..ya dude just asked me for my number you ain’t got nothing to say about that?..No response! Only cause he was never hers….My number is….
the following evening i was thinking of the great time that i had…i text him and let him know! Long story short…i should have walked away…but i didn’t…this was like 3 almost 4 months ago! Our fire still burning strong….

sometimes you just have to take that chance…
@ Mz.C & Kwana…I definately feel u!!!!
Anyhow NWSO…great blog!

@ Spinster…..Life, if you live long enuff, will provide MANY opportunities for regrets and second guessing. Some risks and chances are more reasonable than others. If you can ‘hit that’ but are worrying about: what if the condom comes off…as long as you realize there are a few options, you’re good. 1) she doesn’t get pregnant, neither of you get a disease and life returns to normal…2) she gets an abortion bcuz she don’t wanna have any babies…3) you gonna be a daddy… 4) none of that shyt happens bcuz you keep checking the condom and it STAYS on as it should…ME, I’m in like flynn bcuz I’ve considered the most likely scenarios and think this is a normal, reasonable risk that is always gonna be a risk when gettin some azz…….SEE how that works? Is that not logical to you? Now, if you’re considering going raw…and this isn’t your wife and you don’t want kids or diseases…yeah, U might wanna stay celibate or just eat puzzy and get your d*ck sucked cuz other wise…U not gonna get away from the inherent risks involved in this activity. Hows that work for ya?

@ Sista girl…U lost me. So far,what you’ve shared doesn’t sound like anything you shoulda walked away from, unless ” THE REST of THE STORY ” has a different flava……U mighta found your soul mate at the expense of another chick who wasn’t for him or didn’t step up when she had the chance…….Her loss, your gain. Y’all fire still burning 4 months later…… what’s wrong with having a man who makes you weak in the knee’s? or one who can break your back–just right? What’s wrong with this picture?

@ DC man

have we not learned anything on here yet? Going raw on head or “cat nip” is still just as dangerous. Sure no pregnancy but did we forget Mr. H (Herpes) from a few weeks back?

SMH at your alternate DC plan

Wrap it up, kiddies AND get tested you & your partner and see them papers. Then you can have all the dun you want.

yeah, yeah, I gotcha…Dental dam to eat, rubber to get some head…..Everyone supports the president and bad things never happen to good ppl……Next time I’m up for getting a new shortee, I’M all over that shyt, but since me and my boo been 2gether for a few years, I’ma get my head STR8 and do my eatn direct out-da-box….lmao…..But for new shyt, I’ma get that dental dam, and keep it covered to get head. U are so correct to drum that into our collective heads and I APPRECIATE it, for real……..:)

@Spinster

I typically only have that problem when it’s someone who’s supposed to be off limits for whatever reason.

@NWSO

I got head with a rubber on once. What a waste of 50 dollars! I rather not get any head unless there are rubber better designed for oral. I wouldnt even ask a chick to waste her time because I could barely feel it!

lmao @ DaThrone….U are NUT! and for a dude who says he’s celibate (but still is a king of watching PORN) you sho spend a lotta time takin about azz…….lmao…….stay away from the Essence fest….it’ll drive you to tears to see all them honey’s you not tryn to get with….
@Latsyrc41, someone whose suppossed to be off limits? like your girls man? or a married dude? Yeah, u said something bout a married dude recently…….watch yo-self, that forbidden fruit can be a Motha 4 U…….

@Dc Man with a Plan
Yeah, it’s usually someone else’s property or…relative.

@Dc Man

Those who dont do talk!

Trust me you dont have to warn me of the “Essence effect”! I have made no plans to cruise Canal st this year!

@ Latsyrc41…relative? I ain’t gonna front like I neva met a fiiine, sophisticated female relative that made me ask my mom…Now tell me again, real
s l o w, how am I related to her? Bcuz if you get far enuff down the family tree…I’m just sayin, the children of 3rd cousins don’t count! and my uncles wifes family ain’t related to me at ALL, so all of them are in play….ha-ha-haaaaaaa

DC…of course sometimes we wanna just get it in no strings attached but then I feel like you reach that point where it’s not JUST about the sex you want a little bit more than hit it and quit it. I’m still gonna expect you to turn it out but want to be able to sit and chill after, cook you breakfast after and do it all over again…that as opposed to get in, get off, GET OUT…

For the record. My crew would pick an impromptu island destination over Essence Fest, Draft or whatever other groupie fest on any day of the week. Call us crazy…

@Dc Man with a Plan

You made me spit coffee on my keyboard…LMAO.

I was actually referring to a friend’s relative being off limits (specifically a much much younger sibling in one case). But I’ll browse thru my family photo album when I get home. LOL

Do it, do it safely, and keep your fucking mouth shut. It’s rarely the things we did that cause us regret, it’s the things we didn’t and should have.

okay, ice, I get it. U got all goodie-goodie, mature acting friends. Cool. I’m down with wanting more…That’s me all day long, 24/7. THEN, I went to Jamaica in Apr……GOOD LAWD! I’ll tell you no lie, so I’m not sayin SHYT else about that……….lol……But yeah, I’m not much for short, hit-N-run adventures…… what’s the use? So I can relate to your and your crew. y’all sound like upstanding citizens….all tight azzed and what-not…lol…j/k, don’t go off on me.
@ Latysyrc…so U was tryin to hit on a youngun, like just outta H.S or something? lol…….Yo, U know U need to repent…Your girls little cousin or brother definetly gonna raise some eye brows…that shyt gonna have to be off limits…….but what was it about dude that caught your eye? Was he that deep in conversation…or were U just digging a real 6 pack? lol…..come clean with it…this is a non judgemental zone…We all grown!

Yep and I wrote an ode to him…..

I am LIQUID
When this nigga is
In between my legs
Fucking me
Mercilessly
Endlessly
I feel inebriated
Toxic chemical reaction
Intensified by
The thumping of clitoris
Against tongue
Intensified by
Hot hands slapping on thighs
Intensified by
The smell, taste, sight and sound
Of wetness

I am LIQUID
When this nigga is
In between my legs
How good he must feel
When he touches himself
He orders me to cum
And I do
Placing his trust
Inside my LIQUID SPACE

I am LIQUID
WHEN I WRITE
ABOUT THIS NIGGA

…and he was never off limits in my mind…..

And my apologies for my variation on the “N” word, if it offends anyone…..

Damn, Optical…..lol…I had to go re-read some shyt, just to see WTF you was talkin about! U just came outta no where with that shyt……U and Sista gurl f*cking the same dude or what? damn….she got the fire goin and baking cakes and shyt…U writing rhythms….SHYT…Y’all both caught the f*ck up on a solid tip…… but I ain’t madatcha..some times, shyt jus be’s like that……….

Have you ever found yourself drawn to someone you couldn’t have? of course everyday!!

How did you deal with the sexual tension?
Went home and handled my business

Was there ever someone in your life that you couldn’t keep your hands off of? yep and it was wrong on both ends but felt really good!

Did you give in and let them ravage your body?
Yes but I had to resist after while

How was the sex? great!

Would you be strong enough to walk away from someone you wanted physically but knew was not right for you in the long run? life is short you live only once, and you have to live with you decisions. if i need to, i can walk away but do i want to, probably not!

great blog NWSO!!!!!!

@DC Man—yes there are some women (not a whole lot) who just no strings attached sex b/c maybe they want the sexual aspect without the relationship.

DC-LMAO!! …. Jamaica *sigh* Just got back from there about a month ago….what happens in JA stays in JA boo….u should do a guest blog to share with us your ummm experiences.

@ DC

Hell, we might be. You know how y’all jokers do!

And you know you the original panty snatcher. Chicks stay making pies and writing poems for you….

I think it’d be interesting for NWSO to get a woman to write from the other side because, coming from the other side, it’s frustrating and confusing. I’m not sure why he doesn’t stay. I mean, I understand what Ice and co. are saying about wanting more, or being too afraid of the what ifs . . . kinda? The part I don’t get is having regrets. Life is short and everyone’s going to make some mistakes and find themselves in f***ed up situations at some point. No one is an angel, no one is perfect. A life lived in fear is a life half lived, sometimes you have to step out on faith and trust your instincts.

I mean, if I’m strongly attracted to a man–not just physically, but his personality, character and life goals–(who isn’t in a monogamous relationship, or married, or related to me, or crazy) and he has told me he feels the same about me . . . I can’t wrap my mind around why he walks away . . . . every time. Is he lying when he tells me that he’s attracted to me, and cares about me?

Sorry for rambling. But obviously you hit a nerve, NWSO, lol. I know, logically, that relying on a man’s words is more accurate than relying on his actions (I think you said that in a past blog), but as a woman his actions matter to me. At some point, having a man walk away every time can start to hurt and to chip away at a woman’s self-esteem . . . regardless of his words. I just hope he decides to stay before I have to make the decision to stop answering the phone.

@Confused

Yeah, you definitely tapped into some stuff going on in your world. lol.

This wasn’t really a story, I just tapped into that emotion and wrote. It came out this way. So sorry there’s no real back story for you regarding this one. Figured i’d let it stand and everyone can take from it what they will. Apparently you did

Funny this happened to me in reverse and I had to get my guy friends opinion on why the hell it happened. I had just met a guy and the chemistry was off the chain.

But I’m one of those cautious women [herpes can be spread with condoms on and regular std tests wont check for herpes , good reality check NWSO ]

After endless text messages and phone convos, we met up.. After a while of this I invited him to my house (studio apt – big bed, in hindsight = bad move) and promised him some dinner. He came, sat down, we talked and laughed, chemistry was rising. I get up to finish cooking and we continued talking. He starts saying “hmmm smells good”.

Barely 5 mins after, he says he has to roll, and kisses me byebye, then texts me the next day with no explanation about the sudden awol/mia. I’m like “wtf?”

My guyfriends said basically he wanted to fuck me but reminded himself I was the cautious type and he rolled out before he started something he couldn’t finish … that is definitely a guy thing :O.

Latsyrc41 – understood.

Dc Man with a Plan – I’m not sure about others but speaking for myself and my not-so-great background, being logical and not “letting loose” has kept me out of a LOT of trouble throughout my life so it has its benefits. As far as “letting loose”, those occasions are few and far between. It’s something I’m working on but it’s hard. And I saw your break-down ROTFLMAO.

I don’t know. It’s not that my life is boring. Like you said, there are things in my life that most people wouldn’t think about doing and would think I was crazy for doing – for example, solo travel. It’s just that I’m too concerned about negative consequences and getting screwed over (and not in a good way) to “let loose” with a lot of things. And in the end with situations like this as described by NWSO (whether there are strings attached or not), more often than not, the man always wins.

My fault for rambling.

@Spinster

I am a solo traveler too, nothing else like it for an introvert like me.

You can let loose and still retain your pragmatism.

See Brandon St. Randy’s comment. LOL

You’re not rambling.

Yes, I’ve been there…and once there, no way he’s walkin. Sometimes you just gotta let go.

@NWSO

Awwww…you didn’t say anything about someone who “knew your body”…LOL

I’ve been there… shit, have any 1 ever passed out??? if yes, then you know what almost happened to me… Yes!! she asked me if I was okay… LMAO, well now I can… teamperature rising,sweating bullets and bamm… I grabed my stuff and walked out. I wonder if I can call her now.. pebbles, where are you?? she was so sexxxyyy…

Yo Anslem, you must do something with this.

Latsyrc41 – finally, a fellow introvert. Just re-read Brandon St. Randy’s comment. F—ing priceless ROTFLMAO. (But maybe true. )

Yes…I have to say that I HAVE been in that position. I also have to say that I was allowing myself to be stupid for letting him do what he wanted to do with me because of his BOMB ass oral sex…..LOL I know that might be a little TMI-Sorry! I set myself up for disaster because I would always have myself available for whenever he wanted me, but now that I look back at it I was SO DUMB and I learned from my mistakes, all because he was fine and had SKILLS. That was last year and if I saw him today I wouldn’t look twice because that’s not fair that you just use someone knowing that there will never be anything serious, so to conclude this I would have to say that “he just wasn’t that into me”. *sighs*

I feel you, Spinster, and I agree that heeding reservations about SOME situations has enabled me too, to avoid some problematic situations. It is not as if every chance I have had I threw caution to the wind…Butterah, the time when I was in Panama, visiting this chicks house and found my draws at my ankles and I’m looking up at the sky bcuz there’s a big tear in her corrugated roof…….THAT’s one of those moments I’m wondering: WTF was I on! lol…….But yeah, restraint has allowed me to avoid some shyt I needed to avoid……

@ Caribeza..NWSO gives some GREAT advice, provides deep commentary and generally is a wonderfully professional writer who cares about ppl who participate with his blog………
I’m none of that shyt and I like to over-use or mis-use humor at times…… so this is your warning that what I say, may or may not be useful to you……. Anyways, let me school you on dude who came over for dinner and bounced b4 he got a bite of food or you…..There are primarily 5 possibilities regarding dude: 1) He has a home detention leg bracelet and needed to get home b4 the street lights came on…Hey, the Dept of Corrections don’t play…U not home when you suppossed to be, U heading to the Big house where you’re room mates been lifting weights for the past 8 years…and you walk in lookin like El Debarge…not gonna be pretty, so yes, dude gotta dip in this scenario…2) dude is married and wifey or his live-in lady getting home soon–and she don’t play! so dude comes over, thinkin y’all gonna eat in 15 minutes, then shoot the bull, then he gonna be hittin the sheets inside of 35 minutes so he can be home within the hour…but he arrives, and you still doin Betty Crocker shyt, so he knows he can’t stay….3) Dude got a case of ‘guilt’ bcuz he knew he was only in it, to hit-it and quit-it, so he dipped…..4) Dude is playing a wicked game of psychological warefare on you..5) U got a nasty azz house…roaches and shyt crawlin all over the place…..socks and used condoms on the floor; U using a bra to take muffins outta the oven, he couldn’t stand it, so he bounced! ANY of these scenarios, except # 5, should make you feel BLESSED that you found out about dude b4 investing any real time with him, bcuz he’s NOT a keeper, despite your initial thinkin that y’all had sooo much in common, on the same page, blah-blah-blah. You’re LUCKY that loser is outta your life and that he’s not gonna have a chance to be your babies daddy. Any dude with so little concern for you that he dips–with NO explanation, and then next day speaks to you as if nothing happened is an AZZ not worthy of your time or further brain energy……What U think? Was that helpful? lol……….

@Dc Man with a Plan

LMAO…you stoopid…”using a bra to take muffins outta the oven.”

DC Man With A Plan – oh lawd. Please don’t tell me that you “terrorized” my family’s country of origin. ROTFLMAO. So, how do you decide when to show some restraint and when to let the draws drop to your ankles?

Oh yeah, and you’re right about Caribeza’s situation.

Hey Latsyrc41….U know what they say, make a woman smile: and you’re IN there…..don’t play with me, you know I already like your style….And off subj: I peeped your comments in the BGT topic and I DIG the hell outta the way you put it down! U def have maddd style..U got a man, or what, cuz I might have to change my situation…if I can get a lil of your time….What’s up? lol

@Dc Man with a Plan

You’re hilarious.

Got a situation of my own.

I’m open to techno-cheating tho! LOL…kidding! (since my comments get monitored).

<——–Head down……@ Latsyrc41…Ohh….I wasn’t trying to be funny THIS time, I was on a serious TIP! Nuttin like having a woman laugh–when you’re being SERIOUS…lmao…..U gettin monitored? U playin house too? Dang, U almost married then, huh?..but for real…I can keep it on the low-low…….

Ohh snap, Spinster……You got roots in Panama? Damn, you gotta be fiiine…lol….that’s AWESOME, but naw I wasn’t terrorizing…I was just doing my part to ensure friendly relations between Panamanians and Americans. What can I say…I’m a caring, diplomatic kinda guy! But YO, that joint is ON…and I was trippin to walk up to dark chocolate women…speaking spanish! I was like: WTF? Where you from, 4real, babee…….

Yeah there are a couple of people I couldn’t keep my hands off of. One of them I have stayed away from, for about 2 years or so, but I still IM from time to time. The other one I haven’t seen in months, and unfortunately I still think there’s always a small hope. He’s one of the best I’ve ever been with, and he’s said on numerous occasions that he feels the same way, he’s just too busy and we’re too far apart for a relationship.
But I can stay away, if I really needed and wanted to

damn, Tiff…..So both of them are out of your zip code, or they got other reasons they’re off limits for you? After all, if it’s LOVE and good sex…THAT’s the jack-pot we all want…but if one is married…and the other a long distance thing…yeah, that ain’t gonna work. Don’t stop tellin the story now!…lol

@Dc Man with a Plan

lol @ DC Man wih a Plan … I’d been to his house so I can count out 1 and 2.. so it was definitely 3 or 4 … eventually when he realised I wasn’t gonna be an easy lay, he faded out to black . I didn’t lose sleep over it… but thanks for the advice guys and gals

DC Man With A Plan – you are a damn trip and a half ROTFLMAO! Thanks for further “strengthening” relations between my 2 countries. *trying not to laugh*

Dang, Caribeza, when you put it like that…I’m puzzled too..lmao..Naw, not really. If a woman is considered ‘worthy’ a dude can be expected to play game and put in work for up to 6 months, after that, U can be pretty confident what you’re seeing is no longer his representative…and this for a dude with EXCEPTIONAL patience and dedication to bein a playa..most dudes droppin out with the quickness, like this guy likely did after a few rounds of ” she ain’t droppin draws no time soon’ …So I commend you for being real, especially since I read a post by you the other day that said you was working with 36GG’s? I NEVA even knew they go that high, but damn, I guess you can’t see your feet….lol…I did wonder, howeva, if you had broken him off, bcuz you said you had a one room joint and he saw your bed–then you said, big mistake…as if y’all was rollin around tryin to trade spit bubbles or somethin..I’m just sayin, I pay attention……and yeah, I’m kinda nosey too!

@DC Man with a Plan, no I’d never traded even spit with him before that. Analyzing it over after – that’s when I figured out small space, big bed, obvious boobs = bad mistake. We had some serious but unproven chemistry, so the bed may have given him some imagery re fucking my brains out but the cooking may have given him “good girl” vibes so he rolled out instead of sorting it out because I had already told him straight up from the beginning – no sex til I knew him better. When we did talk about sex, he even joked with me that he knew it would be 8 months.

He did keep in touch after that but he did tell me he had some drama re starting his own business. But I don’t like emotional manipulation, and I’m not a chaser or desperate and neither was he… and he was sexy enough (personal trainer) to have pussy coming at him by the whahoozy, so it petered out… Oh well I’ll always wonder occasionally “hmm what that could have been like”

But with all this shit flying around, better safe than sorry.

and p.s specialty bra shops go up to JJ

My pet peeve, Vicki’s and their glass ceiling of DD .. die die die!

yes i have been there and the fire was so hot and the steam that the fire started in the fire place hahaha, now that man remember me still five years later and still trys to come back to find me he remembers every specific part of my body and our sexual passion our undefined love making, which passionately drives him insane to think about it, i dont regret it but he doesnt want to leave me alone and intterupt my relationship, well i dont regret it but some times the person you feel that for might not be able to handle it especially if you have more experience then they do, you could drive them mad and they will have a mad desire of passionate love making for you forever hahahahah- and you will become there sexual fantasy and desire when there laying besides soemone there suppose to be with, and your part of there past, but everything they see you they droul at you and cant close there mouth,

This one I had to comment on. The guy I’m currently dating is someone I felt this way about for a very long time. Besides being introduced by my then boyfriend, there were a couple other issues that initially made me think it wouldn’t work despite an attraction I’d never experienced in all my 30+ years. Fast forward 5 years, 4 states and 3 failed relationships between the two of us and I finally decided to give it a shot. I am happier than I’ve been in a long time. Like any other relationship, its still work, but its the difference between having a job you love and having one that just pays the bills.

@Sdot – nice analogy…still looking for a “job I love”.

Unfortunately, not one to be this strongly attracted to a man often…and therefore, not one to my deny myself life’s pleasures when they just come kicking and screaming at me!

I met the love of my life online 2 months ago.
It was heaven on every virtual level.
We met last weekend for the first time IRL for the weekend to end all weekends.
I can safely say it was the most beautiful weekend of my entire life, & I know she feels the same way.
Now she feels she’s in too deep too fast & running for the hills so fast I can’t keep up.
Love hurts

yeah I told my mate that we couldnt have sex one night and he came in and got what he wanted because he knew what spots to get me in the mood and he got wat he wanted he said ¨dat my pussy belongs to him¨and i really didnt want to have sex with him but i gave into and thath was the best sex ever because I was mad at him and he know just what to do so i wont stay mad at him

Oh yes, there have been a couple woman I had wanted sexually and it was really hard to say no. There was so much sexual tension, and regrets for both of us allowing each other to be in that situation alone together. Tough, but I had the sense to walk away. We still joke about it and are wiser now. That is, avoiding situations where the sexual energy is flowing and not letting ourselves to be alone. Next time, she would have to be the one to walk away, I doubt I have the willpower to do it next time.