I dont think looking is a crime! We are designed to appreciate beauty of all kinds. I would just as quickly check out a nice ride or house as I would a nice young lady.

I agree with NWSO 100% I take it as a compliment when dudes check out my shorty(the rare times I have one LOL). They can stare for all I care. I just dislike when its obvious the girls with you and dudes wanna take it past looking.

As far as the chick Im with looking at other dudes dont really care. I dont expect to be the only person shes attracted to. I wanna know my girls type weither I fit it or not so if we see a dude that tickles her fancy I expect her to look. I know if I see a female I think is hot Im looking. I have been looking pretty much all my life im not just going stop cold turkey!

I don’t have a problem with anyone looking at the woman I’m with. If shes fine you’re SUPPOSED to look.

Now as far as looking at other women while I’m with my lady or vice-versa, that should be kept respectful. Not for the sake of the person you’re staring at but for the person you’re with. A sneak peak is cool but it shouldn’t be super obvious.

@Meccanisim

Question if your at the movies with you lady and her favorite actor is shirtless are you going cover her eyes?

Disrespect is what you make it. I have been with some girls who got made at me because a females was checking me out when we were out together like it was my fault.(for the record women check me out a lot more often when Im out with a female good figure)

Im a realist for the most part. So why is it only OK for your S.O. to check out somebody else if you dont notice? Thats kind of juvenile to me. Clearly I dont want her to make a scene and expect here to have some class. But Im not trying to subject her to having to do things behind my back that just seems so much worst then to know shes looking.

I am always flattered when someone checks out my man, female or even male lol but maybe that is just because we know we have a good relationship where outside influences rarely come into it in a negative way …there is a line however that some folks attempt to cross but looking never did anyone any harm

@NWSO I have a bomb female friend of mine. She’s nice too. Thick. But everytime we kick it. Dudes just hawk at her. She say’s she use to it. But to me it’s rather rude. I remember i had to check 1 dude. I was like you got a staring problem homie? He was like naw. I said didn’t think so. @NWSO Keep the blogs coming. You got respect in the hood it’s all good. Have a good weekend homie.

Been on both ends. I look and I dont really care if other dudes look.

I think it’s a compliment if a woman checks out my man as long as all she does is look. It’s like a head-nod to me that I dne good! I think it’s an even bigger compliment when my man recognizes the checking out and makes a small gesture to indicate he’s very happy where he’s at and with what he has. This can be by resting his hand on the small of my back or by leaning in to whisper something in my ear, any of those little things.

I think looking is healthy and can also be a confidence boost to anybody. Now with that being said if you are walking with someone and they are not your boo, DO NOT BLOCK FOR THEM!!!

I have many guy friends who have done this to me in the name of trying to protect me. But in the end all they are doing is making it harder for me to meet other people and getting on my nerves. So guys/girls don’t block for your friends. Kindly step away or make it known that the person you are with is not your bf/gf.

No one wants a person that nobody wants….Dont get all tense when your girl gets a glance from another guy, just appreciate the fact that other people agree she is worth looking at. Jealous dudes…pull your skirt down!

This reminds me of the time I was with a (good looking) guy and some random chick who had been eyeballing him the whole night approached him whilst he was still holding my damn hand!!!! Now that is just disrespectful and warrants a good slap across the face, maybe even some hair pulling…

Anyway like you guys have said its only natural that when you see something attractive you are going to look.

In situations where your S.O is looking at someone else, thats to be expected too. Just coz someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they are blind. I’ll look, but try do it as discreetly as possible unlike an ex of mine who nearly smashed the car into the vehicle in front of us whilst he was busy breaking his neck gawking at some chicks ass.

It is one thing to be sexy and another to dress provocatively. I expect men to look at my lady bcuz they will notice the same things I see: a good looking, self confident, sexy azz woman…Looking is cool, waiting for me to turn my back or go to the men’s room so you can holla is crossing a line that can lead to unneccessary problems for all involved. If you think dude is with his sista or a friend, go with the direct approach NWSO outlined, to find out what’s what. However, I have female friends who LIKE to dress provocatively…teasingly–and BOY do they know how to flirt and get a fella all riled up, even ones WITH their lady…I hate that type of behavior bcuz it leads to problems…women get pissed at them…I’m pissed at them…dudes jockeyin all over the place….THAT’s the B/S some women do, that keeps their man in beefs…The Mike tyson syndrome, if you will……Women who want to tease and stir shyt up for sport are trouble makers……But they usually are DAMN good at it!

Dude. You’re dead on. One major problem is everyone has their own idea of the location of the blurry line between glancing and staring. LOL. My biggest problem when I’m with my significant other (at the time) was dudes holding the glance WAY too long. Is it enough for me to stop walking and inquire about dude’s eye problem? Nah. It’s just annoying. Then you have the dudes just going for the eye contact so they can boost their machismo (I’m guilty of playing that game. It’s true). That puts me over the level too…until the hypocritical man on my shoulder screams at me.

What’s crazy is…I’m friends with some very attractive women. One of them, when we’re together…we look like a couple. Why? Beats me. We don’t hold hands or anything like that. I guess we look “good together”. But with her, dudes are staring hard making mental notes to themselves to say something when I’m NOT with her. LOL. SMH.

But I’ve never tried to tone down an outfit. Hell, I love when she flaunts it. That’s ME, money-grip!

My previous lady was jealous, so she was QUICK to tighten her grip and let her claim on me be known…..BUT, over time, I got her to a point, by teasing her, where she was more understanding and less temped to be confrontational. She was the: Bytch, what are you staring at type…… lol..I do think it’s a sign of immaturity or a lack of self-confidence/self esteem. It used to get on my nerve bcuz I’m just a regular joe…….and the way I see it is: I’m with you..going home with you…lovin you–so what’s the deal? Never been with a woman who was trifling enuff to try to holla at someone while I was with them–but I’ve seen it happen and my thoughts are: I surely don’t want a woman who is not respectful enuff or restrained enuff to SEE someone and want to ditch her current date for the visually desirable but emotionally and mentally unknown. I like lookin, especially at the stunningly sexy & provocatively dressed ladies (or undressed depending on your perspective), but I always think: Street Walker’s are supposed to look hyper sexy! Elegant and sexy will take you much farther than provocative & sexy….but you DO get more attention if you dress like a slut!

LoL@July’s story

Some chick had the nerve to do something comparable when I was hanging out with my ex at the bar of his club. Ol’ girl just walked up to us, squeezed herself in between us and started talking to him with her back towards me. At first we both couldn’t believe it and remained civil but making it clear that this ish wouldn’t fly. But apparently she didn’t want to listen and got an attitude when my ex reached for me to pull me close to him. The next thing I know was that he started rushing towards her and pushing her away because Ms. Bumblefuck had attempted to set my hair on fire

Looking and appreciating is cool. God gave us eyes to see. No problem. Staring and taking a proactive approach is disrespectful – which ever way we are looking at it.

What I find absolutely mind boggling is when guys are out and about with their wife and kids (!!!) but decide to stare at me and try to flirt. WTF? Are you serious? Not only are you with your woman but your kids are present too. That’s far beyond unattractive.

Or these dudes who think they are irresistable and chat up a storm while I’m out and about with my man. Horrible. I remember one instance where I was waiting for the bus with my then-boo when a guy pulled up, got out and tried to convince me to ride with him. Errrr … yea …. right. Can you say “disrespectful”?

Humans *smh*

Believe it or not, I once saw this guy get all heated at the Puerto Rican parade, because guys were checking out his damn near naked girl. “If you don’t want anybody to look at her, keep her in house!” somebody yelled. ’nuff said.

I agree with you. I am definitely not the jealous type. I consider a girl looking at my man a compliment because he looks good and after all she see in him what I do. However, my temper would flare if the chick is outright disrespectful and seriously deserves a can of whoop ass (on principal) alone. Otherwise, I smile to myself and keep it rolling because she wants to know what he has going on and I already do–so hey kudos to me…

I had a guy send me a drink with his number on a napkin while I was having dinner with someone (someone I was OBVIOUSLY romantically involved with). I didn’t even look to see who sent it, I just sent it back.

I don’t know…when I’m out with someone I’m happy and in love with, I don’t notice other people, whether they’re looking at me or looking at my partner (it’s that “I only have eyes for you” love thing).

In general, look at whatever you like. Just don’t disrespect me. Y’all know when you’re taking shit too far. Don’t act like you don’t. The line is not fuzzy or gray or blurry.

And if you can’t seem to pull your gaze away from someone else, then I would think a conversation is necessary.

@SunnyDee

What if he whispers, “Uhm, hey, baby, I’ll be right back I’ma go see what this girl wants in the bathroom.”

LOL

lol at July’s EX almost crashing the car and the dude who sent Latsyrc41 a drink….Sheesh, WE men can be sooo simple at times! I, by the way, have NEVER sent a woman a drink–if I didn’t know her status was single and alone…..Gawking and staring are bad. I have trained myself (tootin invisible horn) to NOT turn around and look at a woman’s azz (99.5% of the time…lol) That was always my weakness, now my attitude is: if I missed it I missed it..after all, I’m just LOOKIN. It’s not as if I can chase after every woman I think has a nice azz…….And I can say that the women I have recently dated, have been real cool and into people watching. So once you introduce the subj of people watching and find both of you have an interest in that, it makes looking and talking about what you see easier and more interesting. Women notice other women and speaking to your BOO about what you find over the top, sexy, cute, etc,. is a good way to foster communication and provide insight into the way in which both of you see sexiness…it also diffuses problems and brings about shared enjoyment, laughs and all that. Nothing like having your woman say: look over there, is that your type? And it’s a busted azz chick! That’s a good laugh…and a silly moment….and Lord knows, couples need to share a laugh often, to make it over time. And it goes both ways, so I will poke her and head nod towards some muscled bound dude and see what she thinks. In the right space and time it’s a cool thing to do with your SO…..

@Dc Man with a Plan

I agree w/”speaking to your BOO about what you find over the top, sexy, cute, etc,. is a good way to foster communication and provide insight into the way in which both of you see sexiness…it also diffuses problems and brings about shared enjoyment, laughs and all that.”

It’s when “y’all” try to be sneaky about things that causes the friction.

@Latsyrc41

Only experiencing love once I can say that everybody else just became that least attractive to me. I would see a beautiful female and think ok shes nice and keep it moving. Now earlier with that same chick I would do a healthy share of looking but once the “LOVE” formed pretty much all of that kinda died even when she wasnt around!

I don’t think it’s a problem for a dude to look at my girl. It’s like, “Hey. She’s there.” Sometimes, like you said, it’s hard not too look.

But if someone were to take it a step further by hitting on her or giving her “unwarranted” attention, then that’s when shit will hit the fan. I’ll leave it at that.

lol….@Latsyrc41 (BTW: that is a VERY curious screen name…I’m just not feeling sufficiently energized to try to figure out what it means)….This whole “y’all tryn to be sneaky thing” sounds like you a lil sensitive! You have any examples of being slick?
I’m sure you know, but it bears repeating for others: If your man is finding GREAT pleasure in looking at EVERY skirt that passes by….HE’s just NOT that into you…….Personally, I think discretion is key. I agree with DaThrone when he states how it’s not something to do on a sneak tip….but if you’re prone to verbalize your thoughts, as in: DAMN! or, you do the double take thing…or, you STOP talkin in mid-sentence and stare…or, you lick your lips..ALL of that is going too far. You should be able to look a person up and down if they’re walking towards you without losing a step, or missing a beat. You should also be able to use your peripheral vision or a quick slide glance–and still keep it movin…..

@da ThRONe

Yeah, its like my sweetie is the only one in the sunshine while everybody else in the world is in the shade. For a while anyway. LOL

lol WITH Latsyrc41….Your statement highlights a big difference between the sexes….I would go out on a limb and say the VAST majority of men (VAST= anything from 51% to 85% of men on the planet) would say they STILL notice other women when they’re in love, Da throne representing that small minority….And there is justification for this…There are mostly subtle ways for men to differentiate themselves from other men in the dressing department. Suits, tie, shoes, car…tight this, loose that, gansta style, classy, preppy, bottom line: in public there are limits for men. It’s hard to show a 6 pack off, without wearing something really tight or see thru and then some women gonna wonder if you’re metro-sexual…lol….WOMEN, on the other hand, have VAST and numerous ways of flossing their style: one has all of her perky breasts but her nipple showing, another pants are so tight you can see a pimple on her azz…another has a skirt so short you HOPE she sits down and tries to cross her legs..another has a dress with a slit from the knee to the couchie…….another, thongs are peeking over the top of her skinny jeans..another got azz and breasts on display…another, 5 inch stilettos, tight hair, bright red lipstick, on and on and on….WOMEN, have many more ways of sticking out (pun intended..lol) than men, so MEN therefore, have a harder time of staying focused..lmao…..BUT, when we’re in LOVE, we are focused on our BOO…but we still notice all of that competition out there, bcuz a lot of OTHER women work damn hard to be noticed……..

@Dc Man with a Plan

latsyrc…nothing to figure out. LOL

Yeah I’m hypersensitive and very intuitive.

What I mean by being sneaky is rather than openly looking and including your girl in your looking (like you mentioned), some “boys” would rather wait until your head is turned and then grab two eyes full and marinate in it.

“If your man is finding GREAT pleasure in looking at EVERY skirt that passes by….HE’s just NOT that into you” I agree, That’s what I meant when I said that a conversation might be necessary. LOL

“I agree with DaThrone when he states how it’s not something to do on a sneak tip….but if you’re prone to verbalize your thoughts, as in: DAMN! or, you do the double take thing…or, you STOP talkin in mid-sentence and stare…or, you lick your lips..ALL of that is going too far. You should be able to look a person up and down if they’re walking towards you without losing a step, or missing a beat.”

Exactly…don’t be sneaky about it and don’t take the shit too far.

DaThRone said he still noticed other women, they were just less attractive.

As the saying goes…or it goes something like this. You’re in a relationship not blind. Looking is fine…I as a woman often look right along with my boys. Shoot, on the streets of NY I might just look at more woman than I do men (the number of beautiful women in this city is ridiculous sometimes). Just don’t be disrespectful with it, esp when you’re the one with someone on your arm. Take a peek..don’t start window shoppin and carryin on…unless both of ya’ll are into that type of activity but that’s a whole other topic.

I dont think looking is a bad thing, its called window shopping, you walk by and look, whenever im with a man, i always have window shoppers, the men im with love it, i love it when a woman looks at the man im with, im forever single so they dont know that heck, they can have him if they want, but there is never disrespect going on (thank god!), but when i was in love, i didnt see anyone but the man i was with..

I don’t mind someone looking at my man, & I know anyone I have dated has liked for other men to look at me. Personally I like to admire a fine brother (discreetly) if I see one. I have had one boyfriend who crossed the line with staring at women. We were together for 2 years & I don’t remember him doing it until we were at the end. By then I really didn’t care because I already knew his days were numbered.

@ da ThRONe

Cover her eyes at the movies? Dude…

The point i was trying to make is some folks have a tendency to “eye fuck” another person and it doesn’t matter who they’re with.
That’s what I meant when I said…
“Now as far as looking at other women while I’m with my lady or vice-versa, that should be kept respectful.”

Maybe you got the wrong impression when I said “sneak peak” if so my bad.

But no, its not any cooler to sneak looks behind somebodies back as it is to eye-fuck the next person to your S.O.’s face.

@Meccanism

Yeah “Eye-Fucking” is aways bad!

It can be disrespectful the WAY that you look, you can distinguish a seductive look with a cordial look. If I’m by myself and I see an attractive man WITH his girl then I would not even look…..but for guys it’s different. It’s like some guys were born to look, and guys are “visual” creatures, so it’s only natural for them to do that……but like I said before it’s the way that you look.

I don’t mind if another woman stares at my man while we are together.

I’m bisexual, so the majority of the time, I am the one noticing the women and bringing them to his attention.

It really irks me when im walkin doin the st lookin cute and dudes that are all engrossed in their women stop and look midsentence and stare at me. I know i catch eyes but cmon your with ur lady why are u staring at me so hard?- thats my feelin on the situation.

my husband to-be is 6′5, brown skinned N Has a basketball body…women look all the time n it jus makes me feel good…he kno men look at me n he jus smiles. lookin is ok jus dont try to approach my man n its all good…

Moral of the story IMO: there are more attractive women to be looked at than there are men. I don’t know, maybe it is just me, but I can count the times I was tempted to stare at a guy on one hand.

Looking isn’t a crime…

I was with a guy I was seeing back home in miami one, and the guy that was fine as all get-out was “eyein-spyin” me… Dude I was with starting going off on the man. It was funny, to see the mans look as he snapped out of whatever daze he was in to look at me… I thought he over reacted

What the heck did I just write? lmbo!.. (Correction)…

Looking isn’t a crime…

I was home in miami with a guy that I was seeing. I started to get the feeling you get when you someone is “eyein-spyin” you.. I guess he sensed it to.. I looked up to see this super fine guy checking me out.. He wasn’t even trying to hide it… I was flattered, yet sort of uncomfortable.

If you know miami guys, (lol).. He just started to snap on the dude… It was funny to see the guy snap out of whatever daze he was in!

My guy overreacted though… It was funny all the same

looking is cool, but I had a chick who was dancing with my dude at the club, and when she asked him to come home with her, he politely declined, she asked why, he said he had a girlfriend and didn’t cheat, and then he told her that I was near by in the club, and she thought that was the green light to just provide him the jump off experience in the parking lot….

That is blatant disrespect, I don’t mind other women looking, but please don’t touch, or assume that he wants to touch them. When men look at me, or ask if I’m his, he lets them know I’m his and will smile at them and say “It’s cool if you look, she is hella sexy, but get you a quick glance and keep it moving”

We are realist, and hope that we’re moderately attractive, so we don’t flip out when others look.

Men and women are going to look, it’s human almost like the law of nature to look. Just because you’re with somebody doesn’t mean all other humans are dead to the radar. But there is a difference between “looking” and “gawking”.

@ The Intellect:

I really must apologize to you, The Intellect. I’m really sorry if my words were misunderstood, but what I was trying to say was something totally different. I, being a brazilian, was born and raised in a country where it is impossible to avoid having contact or making friends with people from different ethnicities and cultures. when I was teenager I attended a school where on one corner you would be able to listen to people speaking English, on the other corner people speaking Spanish, and on the other people speaking my native language (Portuguese). we had this ethnic and cultural diversity there. I grew up with all this diversity. Brazil is a country where there was a lot of race mixing since we were colonized by the portuguese people many centuries ago. That’s why I have to say it’s pretty hard for me to define/classify my ethnic background. although I consider myself to be latin, I also know that a lot of black, indian and portuguese blood runs through my veins. I didn’t have the intention to lack respect for you or NWSO! And I feel I have to apologize if my words were misunderstood. I don’t know exactly how things are there in the United States, but maybe here in my country things are a little bit different…

By all means look there is no harm in that thats is the reason that you have eyes when me and my man are together and the opposite sex looks at each other we just say thank you and keep it moving and my man has been guilty of trying to tone down my outfits for the club which i know there are alot of men guilty of the same so do you look on as long as it doesnt cross any line that dont need to be crossed.

lol….Good term, Mecaanism…Eye fucking..I gotta remember that one……….@ Mark the Brazillian…..I understand what you’re saying about having a multi-culture environment in Brazil and there is no doubt there are numerous ethnic influences that are very apparent through out Latin America……….But is that the same as equality? I mean, when you look at your government, are there many darker skinned people that make it far up the food chain or that have influence? I travelled and stayed in SEVERAL latin american countries and the darker you were–the farther down the food chain you were…and lowered expectations were reserved for you. Is that not your reality? Or are you just solely speaking of diversity for the sake of eating at the same restaurants, drinking at the same bars–though there may not be equal opportunity to OWN said restaurant or bar? Just asking…maybe there is some new shyt going on in Brazil…butterah, as far as I’ve read and heard…..NOT! The bottom line IMO: It’s one thing to have a variety of people, but quite another thing to treat them all equally……FYI: ALL over the world, dark skinned people catchin hell……..Now you know….:)

Everything has its limits… Its okay to look at someone else’s man or woman… however you still got to respect the person that he or she is with, because they will be protective over the person their with. i don’t think its jealous so much, i think its about crossing someone’s territory.

Last year I started a relationship with the warden, when we started off first he ran off my male friends, then insisted that I change my phone number, (ex’es Kept callin) then he insisted that I change my email. It would disturb him even if a guy looked in my direction no less state. A few months ago he caught s guy starein in a spot we go to shot pool. He walked over to the guy I thought ok this is it time to go. He simply sat next the guy and started a small chit chat conversation. WOW! was i shocked, afterwards we talked about it. Yes there was some insecurity on his part, and big mistrust of both me and the opposite sex. I am not no glamour girl but I am no bucket either. When its all said an done what it really comes down to is that he had to realize that I am going home with him (were married now) and that guys behavior was just that a compliment. Not to say that if they were not given the chance the would not try to sneek around back… I simply have changed my behavior. i am not single, I don’t make eye contact with the next man if it’s not needed. A minister broughtthis up in church, he said he and his wife were stoped at a stop light when this very attractive women stoped next to them, his wife gave him that look like “What are you looking at ?” He simply stated ” What did you think you were the only beautiful women God created ?!”…

I have no problem looking/taking a quick glance at someone who is nice looking because I do that too.
I have a when my problem boyfriend takes long hard stares at girls to where it feels like he is trying get her to notice him, sending signals to her to communicate with him. I had a problem when we were at a store when there was this hot chick standing in the queue in front of us. He stared at her for as long as the time when we were in the queue to a point when I decided to walk out the store I saw that he was still staring at her. When he came out of the store, he ask why I walked out the store. And when I told him that I was not going to stand next to him and be disrespected that way, he said “oh you are jealous?” and said I am being insecure.
Another time (out of the many other times) his daughter and I were waiting for him to get into the car, but he was standing outside the car staring at a girl for as long as a couple minutes. When I told him of that incident, his excuse was he was looking for his phone and checking his phone.
I would like you guy’s opinion on his behavior. I feel I deserve to be treated better. Am I just being really insecure and too sensitive. I say staring at girls that way is hitting on her. Am I crazy for thinking that?

@Respect

Nah, dude is being disrespectful. We all glance from time to time but staring and eye f’n is a bit OD. You’re good to walk away and show him that you’re not down with all that. What he does alone or what he does with his boys is one thing but he should have enough respect to keep himself in check in front of you and his own daughter. (bad example for her).

For a second or two, then no its not disrespectful. I think it is an acknowledgement that you look good and by staring for a second, I am letting you know that I’ve taken notice.

Repeated or a prolonged stare is disrespectful and you deserve a slap in the face.