Why Won’t Black Men Sit Next To Each Other?
Week before last I went to an advanced screening of Fast & Furious (one of the small perks of the job career I can finally take advantage of). Before the movie started I saw my boy Shawn walk in with one of his boys and grab a seat a few rows ahead of me. The theatre wasn’t that crowded, so Shawn and his boy had a seat separating them and I thought nothing of it. As more people started to fill the space, I noticed that they held a steady conversation by leaning across the empty seat between them. Meanwhile, just a row behind them, another pair of heterosexual males, that happened to be White, sat side-by-side with no problem. Slowly but surely people filled in the empty seats that were peppered throughout the theatre, but Shawn and his homie held their ground and refused to move over. I know men like to assert their “heterosexualness,” but apparently Black men take it to a whole other level and refuse to sit next to each other if they can avoid it.
I’m not sure when or how this Man Law is passed on to the next generation, but even I have fallen victim to this homophobic seating arrangement. There was this time me and my man Rich went to go see X-Men: United after work. It was the middle of the week so the theatre wasn’t crowded at all but Rich and I exhibited the same behavior as Shawn and his boy, sitting exactly one seat apart. I guess you can liken it to how men in general act in public restrooms—no two guys will stand next to each other at a urinal unless there’s a wall divider. In fact, Man Law requires that you always go to the farthest latrine as possible from the next man. Apparently the same thing applies to public seating. In both instances, the only time side-by-side seating/standing is only acceptable if the space you are in is extremely crowded and you have no other choice. But even then, talking is kept to a minimum.
This seat issue isn’t limited to public spaces either. Back in the day when I hung out more, my boys and I would always hangout at my man Jalen’s crib. He had a three-person couch and a love seat in the living room. Under normal circumstances that was enough to seat five people comfortably, but anytime more than three of us were at Jalen’s crib someone would stand, or sit on the stool a few feet away in the kitchen. It was just an unsaid rule that we all abided by that two men were not to sit side-by-side. Only under rare instances like overcrowding were two males allowed to occupy the same seat space at the same time. Even then, the body language of each individual always leaned farthest away from the other as to ensure that there is no body contact going on. Had any women been in the mix, though, those five seats would’ve held seven of us all squished together. Well, as long as there was no man touching. Looking back on it now, it’s really quite silly but hey, it’s what guys do and who am I to break Man Law.
Fellas, why do we feel the need to sit a seat apart from each other? Do you really think it makes you look gay? Is it just a “Black thing” or do men of all races exhibit similar behavior? Do you feel like it’s an invasion of your private space when someone comes right next to you in a public restroom? Ladies, do you hate to see guys sitting down with their legs spread mad far apart. How do women interpret this kind of behavior in men? What would you think two guys sitting side-by-side at the movies or at dinner were gay?
Speak your piece…
“Why Won’t Black Men Sit Next To Each Other?”