Can a Nosy Lover Push You to Cheat?
For the most part, I’ve tried to avoid touching on this whole Chris Brown/Rihanna fiasco (I also refuse to refer to them as Chrihanna). Besides wanting to hear all the specifics before passing judgment and not just one side or hyped up (mis)information, I already spoke on my views about domestic violence a minute ago (CLICK HERE) and everybody and their Oprah is covering it already. And NWSO don’t like following the crowd. But I recently heard some new info that finally made me want to write about a different yet related angle.
As you’ve probably heard by now, the supposed reason for whatever transpired that night between hip-pop’s young power couple was a “three-paged text” Chris received from a former lover. Earlier this week, various sources claimed that the woman who sent the igniting message in question was actually Brown’s manager Tina Davis, who was alleged to have had a affair with Brown when he was 16. Both parties have vehemently denied these rumors but here’s her name in the middle of controversy once again.
Let me make this clear: Whether or not Davis slept with Brown back in the day and regardless of the fact if she did or didn’t send him a text that night, Rihanna gettin’ her faced bruised up was totally uncalled for. I’ll draw the line in the sand right now and say a man should never hit a woman under any circumstances—even if she strikes him first. Cooler heads should prevail and if things ever get that heated a man should just walk away. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me play devil’s advocate.
Stepping away from all the physical violence that occurred between Chris and Rihanna for a second, I want to discuss what may have led to the altercation in the first place—snoopin’. Ideally, there should be no secrets (at least nothing serious) in a healthy relationship but each person still has a right to his or her privacy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I feel that without trust you can’t really have true love because jealousy and insecurity will always get in the way of the bond between two people being solidified. Therefore, if I’m in a relationship with someone I should have some sort of understanding that when I’m in the shower, she’s not going through my drawers or phone searching for shit. There should be enough trust there that both of us can rest easy at night and not resort to snoopin’. Besides if I was doing dirt, I’d like to believe I’d be more discreet with my shit anyway. Even if I (or she) was doing something wrong, that still doesn’t mean either of us has the right to hit one another.
I was watching an episode of Divorce Court the other day and the issue of snoopin’ came up. The wife suspected her husband of cheating, and hacked into his email account, IM address, and checked his phone records. The husband felt so violated that he wound up setting up completely new email accounts and slept with his phone under the pillow. Persistence pays off, though, and his wife still managed to get to his cell while he was asleep. Turns out homeboy was creepin’ with her cousin among other women (scandalous) and that’s what led them to be standing in front of the judge filing for divorce. Although the wife’s suspicions were valid, I still don’t think she had a right to hack into her husband’s accounts. The judge summed it up best when she said something to the effect of, “Once you’re hacking into computers and checking his phone, what’s the point of even being together? That’s a sign that your relationship is over.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
How do you feel about people that spy on their mates? How much of an impact do trust issues have on a relationship? Have you ever dealt with someone that would check your phone or rummage through your things? If you were the one snoopin’, how often did you ever find evidence of your mate’s infidelity? If they were guilty, did you leave them or give them another chance? Why be with someone you don’t trust? Has anyone ever been accused of cheating but been completely innocent? How did it make you feel to be wrongly accused? Did your mate’s insecurities push you to cheat? How do you handle a mate that gets physical?
Speak your piece…
“Can a Nosy Lover Push You to Cheat?”