Thats funny pro-choice! I feel like this you have the choice to wear condoms ,take pills ,shots , patches ,morning after pills i mean how many choices do you need? I am so against abortion its crazy. Im not steaking out abortion clinics but i cant agree with ending human life @ any phase but especially babies. I dont really even understand the arguement how its legal. Well i understand but dont agree. There is too many options for us to get our grooves on and not have it happen. We love to take the easy way out of everything and most abortions are the evidence of that.

If ever there was a reason to go pro-choice, it’s my five cousins. The evilest, meanest, thievingest scums of the earth. They are the poster children for pro-choice, with a caption that would read: This is what could happen to you if the option to choose is taken away from you. Harsh, but true. Am I playing Him? Maybe. But if you live in the New York area, I’m sure that some sort of pain that they have inflicted on someone has trickled down and had a negative effect on you.

I am very pro-choice. Although I do not believe in abortion for myself, I think a woman should have the right to choose. For me, a life is a life, and it’s a sin to take a life. But I say that with humbled naivete, because–thank God–I have never been in a situation where I had to make that choice. And who am I to inflict my beliefs on another woman who sees things differently? A woman who has had different life experiences that have caused her to have to make choices that were necessary for her survival? Besides, there are so many grey areas. What if the woman was a victim of rape? Would I want to have the baby of a man who so brutally violated me? What if she cannot afford to bring a child into the world? What if she and her partner used all precautions and she still ended up getting pregnant?

There are no right or wrong answers. It’s up to the individual to make that choice for herself. And, in my opinion, it should stay that way. In the words of Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest: No more wire hangers.

umm.. def pro choice.

its telling that most of the staunchest and most vocal pro- lifers are men.

I agree total with DistinguishedGentlewoman’s argument (altho Im sorry they’re your cousins lol)

I firmly believe that some people procreating are doing more harm to humanity than good. We want to take someone who doesn’t care enough about their own life to protect themselves from God knows what consequences, and give them a person to drag up (as opposed to raise) and unleash upon the world? I vote no.

And I wont even get into rape cases and health of the mother issues.

This is a hard one, I had a friend that was raped, and kept the baby she was 13 and then had to love and look at this little girl and see “him” in her on a daily basis. I also know of a lady (over 21) who has had 3 “procedures” in the last year due to not being a responsible adult and using protection. So what’s the right answer? There are extreme cases where teens either get raped, or even date raped not realizing they are being taken advantage of at the time who do not have the support or resources to take care of the baby

I believe every woman has a right to decide whether to keep or abort her child. As for myself I would never have an abortion. Just last year I was pregnant and abortion never came to mine. It also depends on the situation. I was employed and had family to help me. Unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage. There are a lot of people who are alone and are not financially stable or responsible enough to have a child.

@ dathrone

Easy way out? It could only be couched as such by someone who isn’t a woman.

Pro-choice means just that. You have the right to choose whatever you think is right for you. As a woman, I stand by the right for women to have options, to make whatever decision they see fit.

@distinguished gentlewoman

I agree. It’s a personal decision. No more wire hangers, indeed.

My $2.50:

What you saw was existential crisis in a tangible, material form. It’s something that occurs to me, with or without physical symbols, when I see children and parents daily; these thoughts often transpire in public spaces like sidewalks, restaurants or train stations when I witness children who look like they are in need of care or when I see parents who are evidently ill equipped and lack any capacity for raising children interacting with their kids like they’re adults or some random person off the street.

I am, without doubt, pro-choice to the Nth degree.

Every woman, who has to gestate, carry, deliver and then raise a child, has the right to determine what she will and will not do with her body. Period.

Pro-life, by the way, is a total misnomer. People who are pro-choice are not ANTI-Life. We simply believe that a woman–not a person in political office, a person who sits on a judidcial bench, a priest/man who pontificates but does not live amongst the daily in’s and out’s of the world–has the power and right to choose for herself and her future child, what measures are best for HER and that child.

i say to each her own when it comes to this topic though i would not recommend it at all i mean if you are so hell bent on not having a child then protect yourself from thee possibility i know in some cases things just happen but i look at it like this how could you take a life??? a life who didnt ask to be a product of your carelessness. to take it on a more spiritual note in my opinion God doesnt make mistakes everyone is born to this earth for a specific reason. you never know if ur killing the child who is to finally bring world peace about ( i know its exaggerated but you never know) i feel if your woman enough to lay down with a man then u need to be woman enough to handle your responsibility point blank and though its hard i believe even if ur raped you should not have an abortion there are so many other forms of solving the problem give the child up fr adoption i mean you can drop child off at a hospital and leave with no questions asked but to kill it when their are so many women out here who would give their left arm for a child to love yet for some reason are barren is just wrong to me but like i said in the beginning to each her own

First, I must say that the wire hanger image is a very strong one! Geez! Anyways, I think a lot of people say they are against abortion until faced with the decision whether or not to go through with a pregnancy – especially, if the circumstances surrounding it arent ideal.

On that same note, young women make lifestyle choices for themselves with the thought that they will always have a way out – they will always have a choice. I hope that one day it gets to a point where forethought comes into play before there is a choice to be made.

I agree with (distinguished gentlewoman) that there are alot of grey areas, especially for folks who are being responsible but still end up pregnant. I agree a woman should have options, but at what point should these options run out, especially if she is abusing them, having 3 and 4 of these “procedures” monthly. When is there a consequence?

i was 14 and scared to say no.

@ Sorry

Pardon me for being daft, but what were you scared to say no about? You don’t have to share publicly if you don’t want to, but your comment is open to many interpretations and if you’re looking for an open ear/eye you can always share with the group anonymously or hit me directly at NakedWithSocksOn@gmail.com

An option if you need it…

Be safe, be good, be blessed

I’m very pro-choice.

I had one at 15, it was the right *choice*

Graduated HS, college, secure full time job and had my son @ 20 years old.

No regrets!

Definitely the most personal decision/choice a woman will ever make!!

I can see where da throne is coming from.

Since having my son, have never been pregnant again, Im an adult and know how to protect and take care of myself, but nevertheless, a choice is always best to have!!

Sometimes, we all need to stop and smell the coffee and you had your moment last night. Many of us don’t appreciate life and what it has to give us.
As far as my opinion on abortion, i do not believe in it, unless it is life threatening. I remember when i found out that i was pregnant with my son, his father wanted me to have an abortion and I chose not too. My case to him was that his mother gave him a chance in this world and so did my mom, there is no way in hell that i would rub my baby of that chance. Least to say because of that decision he did not speak to me or make an appearance when his son was born until 3 months after his birth. I suspect it was from the pressure of his family at that time but oh well. I love my son dearly and I do not regret my decision to not terminate my pregnancy. The only regret that I have at this point in my life is the sperm donor of my children, you would think that I learned my lesson after the first time. I could say with confidence though that there would not be a third time.

no its fine. im 20 now and ive dealt. i was scared to tell my bf at the time no about having sex and when i came up pregnant he basically said eff u and moved on. i didnt have my familys support and i knew at 14 i wasnt ready to be a mother or even deal properly with a pregnancy. it was and still is a very personal decision that i feel no one has the right to judge…ill havemy judgment day people theres no need for u to judge u are not Him and as a true Christian thats not what you are supposed to be doing

@SorrySorry

Damn, now you’re doubly sorry? LOL

Trust, I know what you mean… appreciate you sharing and clarifying

I was typing on my phone lol

First off, what a topic. Second, I am pro choice. However I do feel that some people use abortion as another form of birth control. Like the first dude said there are lots of ways for us to get our groove on in a safe and fun way. As far as myself, i have been blessed to never have to deal with that situation. I don’t know what i would have done. Right now, kids are NOT an option, so I take extra precautions to not let that happen.

I think that a lot of parents need to go to “Parent School” before they even think about conceiving because the kids are not the blame (all the time) for being assholes, they learn that at home.

That is all.

And ummm, so after “Put it in your mouth” he makes this song.

@ Miss Cocoa Luv

I am sorry, but I somehow I got lost on your second paragraph. Could you break it down a bit more for me so that I don’t misinterpret the point you were trying to make.

@ Miss Cocoa Luv,

I co-sign on the Parent School thing. And the 1st class should be on how to be a decent, disciplined human being. That way the kids will learn from example.

@ NWSO,

Been readin’ fo a minute. A while back you shared a story with us about a situation where your ex called to tell you she found herself in a situation that very much seemed like she was about to make this move. Since we’re being open, care to share?

@Simone

What I am saying is that a lot of parents are UN FIT. They bring in children and have no idea what they are doing. There have been TOO many times that I have been on public transportation and heard parents curse out babies (i call them babies even if they are 5). It’s ridiculous. Then there are the parents are gucci-fied and the kids are dirty, hair un combed and this is in the am before school. If you live in NYC then you might have seen your own examples.

And it doesn’t matter your financial background. I grew up smack dab in the center of the hood with a single mother who worked and went to school, if i had a different sort of mother, i would have been a product of that environment. Some people want more for themselves and for their children. Others want dolls to dress up but still live at home with their 30 year old grandmothers.

@ D-Berry

I plead the fifth, sixth, and seventh.

Whatever piece you may be referring to is not something I honestly like discussing and actually didn’t discuss in the alleged piece. I left it open for interpretation for people to make their own assumptions on what that conversation was about while purging my own demons. I wrote what I may or may not have written then and for now it’ll stand as “The Untold Fact”

**sobs and curses longtime readers and their blasted good memories**

Thank you Miss Cocoa Luv, you have made that very clear.

-And growing up in Brooklyn as a teenager and young adult, I have seen a few examples. I would have to agree. The other problem out there are some people purposely procreate to keep on depending on the system (housing, food stamps, child support….) for all the wrong reasons. They do not give a fig about what their children are doing on the streets, who they are disrespecting and how they look. I have a problem with that. I have 2 children of my own and I can guarentee you that they would have the same upbringing which I had and it includes respect to others, knowing how to cook, clean and take care of themselves. Part of the reason I moved out of NYC, I didn’t think it was the right environment for my little ones. Right now I have to deal with their aunt who thinks that they sound “white”. WTF… My kids speak properly and don’t incorporate the slang in their grammer which is the proper way I believe. My son knows, never to hit girls, although his father tries to teach him differently on his rare occassions that he sees them. Going forward —> I am scared for my children and the future generation that is showing its head with so much going on in the world and what the entertainment industry is teaching them. Having them believe in materialistic things, that they want to steal, sell drugs and kill for. I am afraid that my children could become a victim of greed and gang violence. Why? goes right back to you and the upbringing that some of these kids receive, their environment and upbringing.
Jeez – once i started typing, i couldn’t stop. Sorry about that but this is something that normally gets my blood boiling. I have so much to say on it, that it might be better if i were to write a book.

I am pro-choice. I personally never had an abortion, I know people who have. Some were forced by mom because they were too young in their mom’s eyes and ended right back pregnant anyways. Some were conscience decisions that left them aborting their “fetus.” I believe it is not my place to judge anybody or their decisions. And guys are no better because the majority are against abortions, “DON’T KILL MY SEED,” nonsense. When the child is born the father is nowhere to be found. You cannot begin to understand what us females go through when it comes to being pregnant, giving birth, raising a child, so on so forth. Therefore I believe men have no say so on what a woman does when it comes to abortions. Believe you me, for the most part, the female will carry that abortion (if she has a conscience) for the rest of her life as regret but as something that had to be done.

By no means do I think that abortion is a form of birth control. But like I said God is the ultimate and final judge not me nor anyone for that matter.

@ NWSO,

NP. Understand. I been in situations…

@-h*

Yes easy way out. What else can you call it? When a males and females can be totally irresponsible with they’re sex life and get somebody pergnant and dont have to life with that lack of responsibilty. If I show the same lapse of judgement and take a life its not just accepted as an “choice” its Murder(and i not talking bout JaRule). How is this any different? If I was facing manslaughter charges I cant just use the fact that “Well he was going die someday anyways” as my defense. People arguement for abortion is because @ a certain stage the fetus cant sustain life so it isnt a life. There are people in the hospitial that cant sustain life on there on but you cant just go in there unplugging people and there no telling if they will ever come to. With unborn babies we have a number inwhich this fetus will be able to sustain life. Abortions and must cases is the action of fearful young ladies if you give people the easy way out most of us take it ,but that doesnt make it right.

“Ethics is not doing what you have the right to its knowing whats the right thing to do”

Everybody talking about the babies that are keep and do bad things what about the babies who do great things. I was an unplanned and im sure my mother thought about having me ,but lucky for me my parents was married and could afford another baby. So if your telling me my mother had the right to kill me before i was ever born then maybe your mother shouldnt have had you!

@Throne

I’m just glad the fate of my body is not solely in your hands.

Some points about choices:

You choose to smoke, should you not receive treatment if you get lung cancer? Should you just live with an STD instead receiving treatment for a “self-inflicted” illness? These things are certainly avoidable if we make the right choices, as are many other example I can think of. Do i liken coneption to illness, depends on the circumstances.

Do you feel the same way if a woman has been raped? Molested?

And fortunately, your mother did have the right not to have you, and you would be none-the-wiser had she not, but like you said, she was lucky enough to be maried, willing and able to afford you. About your ethics quote, what is ethical (or not) is defined by culture and self and YOUR ethics are relevant to my body.

Peace.

I’m pro-choice! I’m gonna go head and cosign with “distinguished gentlewoman” so I don’t repeat what’s already been said. “Easy way out”??? Really? No woman is thrilled to have an abortion. I’ve never had one but I would think that the emotional and maybe physical repercussions are something that are hard to live with. I keep hearing about these irresponsible mothers who use abortions as birth control…these are the women the “pro-lifers” would force to have a child?

PS Can we please work on adoption reform before a case is made to overturn Roe v Wade?

If a case is made to overturn Roe v Wade, women will still have abortions, just not safely.

Women don’t just have abotions because they don’t want to raise a child. It’s also because they can’t or don’t want to carry a child.

Juno is a very unrealistic way to present the circumstances around teenaged pregnancy. There are kids out there who would have the child beat out of them (sorry, but true). Abortion and adoption are not interchangeable.

@Dragonfly

Its not just your body thats what im trying to say. You never heard the phasre “Eatting for Two”? It not just you anymore when your pregnant thats is the most selfish thing you can do. And if abortions are so bad then why do it. Its like steroids every player taking them say they didnt help will if they not helping why are you taking them?

Its wrong to kill just cause it not part of your plan. We cant just go all Hitler on unborn babies cause your not responsible.

I not judging anybody who ever though or did but Im calling a spade a spade. My heart goes out to anybody in this position. I can understand why you would wanna kill somebody who killed your family but that doesnt make it right.

Can anybody “Pro-life” explain to me how abortion isnt murder? Its a life and your killing it murder plain and simple. But I willing to listen to anybodies try to justify this! Cause as of right now nobodies making a case that its right

@Dragonfly

If the pregnancy isnt putting the mother @ risk of dying than I dont agree with it. Were the ones making the mistakes and its the babies thats paying for it how is that right?

@ Throne

I wouldn’t expect you to understand abortion from a woman’s point-of-view. (1) when a person is on life support and can’t live without a machine keeping them alive, best believe me you can pull the plug, starve them to death, so on so forth, so that was a bad example. (2) I am a single mother of 2 boys, different fathers. I am the perfect candidate to run to the abortion clinic and abort my kids but I didn’t. Why? Because there is this connection that mothers have with their child even before its born that is so strong you would never begin to understand it. (And I was both control with both of my kids.) A woman that makes the choice to have an abortion is dealing with whatever issue it is and believe you me they are not having ‘baby killing parties’ in the clinic. You have people go as far as the table and change their minds. It’s a very hard decision but it is a choice that i feel the woman should make not no man that is on his high horse ready to play God.

My 0.02 Euros:

I am very pro-choice … regarding everything in life/death.

Abortion is not a form of “belated contraception” as some women seem to use it. There is the pill, condoms, foam, diaphragmas, celibacy…and so on. And in my 13 years of being sexually active, I have never had to go through a pregnancy scare.

However, I will not let a busted condom change my life’s path. Why do I feel as if a pregnant woman automatically loses the right to do with her life what she pleases? Does a woman’s life completely lose it’s “right to exist” just because some sperm was strong enough to fertilize one tiny egg?

It’s easy for men to say they are against abortion. Life for most men doesnt change significantly when they become fathers. They still go to work, they still hang out with their buddies, they still get a good nights sleep, they still enjoy their hobbies. Why? Because they know the child’s mother will (in most cases) take care of the baby’s needs while the father only spends time with it when it’s smelling good and has been fed. It’s easy to like parenthood when it comes in a clean, giggling and smell good package.

I am 31 and yall might laugh but I feel WAY too young to be a mother. There is so much I still feel the need to do, experience or complete. There is absolutely no room for a child in my life. I dont want wake up an hour earlier every morning to get a child ready for daycare. I dont want to always be in a rush because I have to micromanage every aspect of my daily schedule. I dont want to worry about finding a babysitter simply because I want to go to the movies on a Friday night. I want to be able to hop on a plane without considering school breaks. I want to spend my money on myself, not on a pair of overpriced braces. Sorry, Im still way too selfish for that. A Doberman is as much responsibility as I am willing to accept right now.

Thank God I live in Europe where there is no pro-life vs. pro-choice debate. The days where other people have a right to decide over another person’s body are luckily over. Or are they?

@ Hope2Star:

Very profound, on all counts. And while I can’t put myself in anyone else’s shoes, I can’t see how deciding to have an abortion could be considered an “easy way out.” What a decision to have to make or go through. And quite a few women go through it alone. Dang, that really breaks my heart.

And some of us are forgetting the men who are there for their girlfriends/wives who decide to have the procedure done. No, they cannot feel the physical pain, but it can leave an emotionally scarring effect on the man. He is also experiencing a great loss.

I’ve been on the fence so long with topic that I just plan to stay there.

Over the summer I gave a persuasive speech in class about how we all should have safer sex. At that time the statistics read that only 7% of women in NYC were using dual methods of birth control. That number is astonishingly low. I feel that all women AND men should use contraception. Women who definitely know they do not want or cannot properly care for children should use condoms AND birth control.

Abortion should not be used as a method of birth control and I believe that their should be a limit. A friend of my cousin has had 7 abortions before she finally got her tubes tied and I’ve personally witnessed the after affect of an abortion on someone very dear to me. It is a very serious situation that should not be taken lightly in the form of having them multiple times.

Abortion up to a certain stage is not murder in my personal opinion. No brain, no neural system, no heart, no lungs, no nothing develops up until a few weeks into a pregnancy. It all starts out as a lump of cells. If you call a group of cells about the size of a pea life, you might want to consider going vegan, not killing insects, not even removing tumors.

Sorry, this is harsh, I am well aware of that. But seriously. Calling a an egg which has just recently been fertilized “life” is a bit of a stretch in my understanding of the world.

Thanks NWSO for bringing this up. I actually work in this arena and therefore am strongly pro-choice. I think we can all agree that abortion itself is a terrible procedure, not something to be taken lightly. Also, to re-iterate, being pro-choice does not mean you think that abortion is a form of birth control, or that you think it’s a simple easy solution for unwanted/unintended pregnancies.

From a research standpoint, it has been scientifically proven that worldwide, countries that have safe and legal abortion, have lower abortion rates, than countries where abortion is illegal. The point is that women are going to have abortions no matter where they live and what the law says. In the U.S., we have many “choices” i.e. generally easy access to birth control (depending on what state you live in) but there are other places where abortion is illegal and you also can’t access condoms, the pill, IUDs, etc. There are certain states here in the U.S. that make it difficult for young people to access birth control.

Also, many women get pregnant on the pill, using condoms or exercising many of these “choices” that “da Throne” mentioned. It has also been scientifically shown that many women who have abortions do so because of concerns about being a good mother who can appropriately provide for their children. (About 60% of women having abortions already have one or more children). It is a complicated issue.

We can debate the morality of the procedure until we are blue in the face but the fact remains that women become pregnant unintentionally, and sometimes taking all preventative measures, and some women are going to have abortions (whether for financial, physical, mental reasons). Therefore women should have the autonomy to decide what is right for their body and their lives. Isn’t the “moral” thing to do to ensure that women don’t die unnecessarily from botched abortions (a la the coat hanger)? My mom grew up in the times of the coat hanger and has told me firsthand about family and friends having their insides butchered. It is unacceptable.

Thank you to Distinguished for pointing out that it is usually men who are the staunchest anti-choice advocates (b/c they are NOT pro-life). And it’s men who are running most governments. They can only fathom how personal and often times how heart-breaking this decision is for women. I have friends who are fervent Christians but when it came down to making this difficult decision for themselves, the reality of the situation became very clear when it came down to logistically having the child.

Finally, to me, the right to make decisions for our own bodies is paramount. There are dozens of countries in which women are FIGHTING for this right. Not because they like abortion but because not having the choice is killing women. Literally. Maternal mortality rates are higher in these countries (i.e. Kenya, Guatemala). If we want to prevent abortions, how about we seriously educate our young people on how to take care of themselves and their bodies…and most importantly develop their self-esteem (and offer resources) so they are not in the position of being afraid like “Sorry.”

I have included some links below to research studies that may offer some perspective. I have stories for days but have written much!

http://www.guttmacher.org/media/nr/2008/01/07/index.html
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_IAW.html

leave it to you to rattle things up a mite.

me, pro-choice.

doesn’t mean anything other than i believe it’s not on me to tell a woman how to live.

(have to ask, though, homie. did you intentionally mean to state your position with “…couldn’t help but wonder if that mother had ever thought of taking her little girl’s life…”)

for the legal nerds among us, roe vs wade is controversial for more reasons than the inherent conflict.

it’s one of the few times that the federal gov’t has dictated what some feel should be state level legislature.

believe it or not, there are people who are against roe vs wade, but definitively pro-choice. (they believe that individual states should have the right to self-determination.)

anyway, check out Freakonomics, for an interesting theory re: the long-term effects of that ruling.

i was mom’s number 8. so when this topic comes up, i remain aware of the “there but for the grace of god…” adage. as for why she CHOSE to bring me along for the ride, after already having seven before me, she’s not around to answer that question any more, so i don’t bother thinking about it.

for those who gawk when i hit ‘em w/ that carlito factoid, i say: talk shit if ya wanna. things were different, pops is a good dude, and here i is.

=)

@dathrone

You have no idea what you’re talking about. No disrespect, but you don’t. You’re reaching here.

like litabia said, no one is having baby killing parties.

Women aren’t having abortions simply because they don’t want to be pregnant. A large majority of the abortions performed are for medical reasons or as follow up when a woman has miscarried.

It’s a hard decision that would be even harder if the government or men with no concept of what it entails were making it for you.

@elle

Word. I’m 34 and still not ready. The right to choose is really about personal freedom. I love kids and think they’re a blessing, but still have a lot of other things on my plate I want to do first. It’s fascinating to me that men are always lauded when they take the time to achieve their goals and hold off on settling down, but women are seen as selfish.

@ -h*

“It’s fascinating to me that men are always lauded when they take the time to achieve their goals and hold off on settling down, but women are seen as selfish.”

Preach!

@Elle

A kid will change a man’s life maybe not a lil boy but a grown man will never abandon his child. So on a side note stop sleeping with so many lil boys. And you made my point your willing to kill to protect your plan thats selfish.

@Litabia

I know the family can choose to but the point i was making is they still have rights. And its illegal to assist in suicide for people who wanna die. So how is abortion legal its murder and nobody is making a case that its not.

@ All the ladies

I know i cant ever express what it is to be a mother and im not saying that i can at all. But that doesnt change the fact that its murder. I never said facing an unplanned pregnancy is easy I said abortions is the easy way out and it is. How is abortion the more difficult choice? That is the definiton of running to the “Easy Button”. They have abortions because just like Elle said it would mess up there plans. You cant tell me that its done for the good of the baby. So based on that mindset we should round up homeless people, retarded people, criminals, or anybody we dont think is productive and kill’em because the dont help society?

I understand Throne’s point and i am giving my input as a woman.
When we all have sex, all of us know that there is a chance to become pregnant or adopt an STD. So, if you don’t want to become pregnant take all necessary precautions or don’t have it at all. Sex is a pleasure to most of us but it’s main purpose is to procreate. So, basically what some people are saying is that it is okay to have sex for our own pleasures and if we somehow end up pregnant, because of our neglience, its okay to have an abortion. No matter how hard it might be or not on some peopel -wrong. That is what it is – wrong! Yes, women it is our bodies and we are the ones that is carrying the baby for 9months and bearing the pain and eventually the upbringing would be on us the most but we knew the chances of becoming pregnant when we lay down and spread our legs for the pleasure of the dick (just being frank). At the same time, it is selfish for some of us to abort that life because “we” are not ready for that responsibility. Don’t get me wrong, there is an exception to abortion, as much as it pains me to say and it comes in the form of LIFE THREATENING situations. Whatever life we created while having our pleasure did not ask to be developed. If you don’t want to become pregnant use protection – there are so many out there or just don’t have sex. I must stress again, the true purpose of sex is for procreation (making babies).
As far as the cell not living thing – of course it is. Our cells are alive and they multiply. Our whole body is made up of cells, which turn into tissue–>organs–>systems–>the whole organism (humans, animals….). At least i paid attention to something in anatomy.
Just my opinion.

excuse my spelling errors.

I agree with you Throne, it is an easy way out. I believe that abortion is WRONG on so many levels. Okay so you’ve been irresponsible, great, you cant deal with the baby okay wonderful, please tell me how many parents are out there READY TO BE PARENTS and cant have children. But a woman would rather play GOD and kill an innocent child, because THEY decided to make a wrong decision. That is the most SELFISH thing in this world. I dont agree with abortions for any reason (unless yes rape or insest) but even then there are people in the world that cant conceive at all. GOD brings people into the world for a REASON. He doesnt sit up there and say lets ruin this persons life just cause. Children are a blessing and a prayer answered regardless. YOU might not be ready to be a mom, but the man upstairs either wants you to be or has another family for that baby. Not the graveyard.

@-h*

I know what im talking Elle is the only 1 so far that try to justify abortions! All the rest of you are just being pointless feminist.

@Elle

I understand the process inwhich babies develop. Its a question of morals tumors dont turn into healthy loving caring humanbeings. But you are the only one who has made a case not just say cause im male that i cant stand up for those who cant stand up for themselves.

The arguement that its my body is so selfish. Nobody ever cares about that baby only themselves. Has anybody ever seen a video of an abortion? I was force to watch one in high school and it showed the fetus running for its life in the small space i felt that fetus pain. I was pro-choice until that day it changed me forever! I dont care about gender right is right and wrong is wrong and killing(cuz thats what it is) is wrong!

I know what im talking about*

I have a question for “Throne” and other like minded commentators…

What’s your “solution”? Do you want to eliminate abortions all together? Or only make them available to rape victims or mothers who’s lives are in danger?

I really want to know.

@Throne

Funny that your name is ‘Throne’ cause you feel that you have the authority and it is everybodies duty to explain their views to you. I feel how I feel and that’s that. I could careless what anybody thinks. So do you. You have specific reasons for being Pro-life and I have specific reasons to be Pro-Choice. I think Elle summed it up for everybody but it’s not like we’re congress and we have to vote on a bill. I respect everybodies beliefs what-ever it maybe. You haven’t really made any real point other than you think abortion is murder but that’s it. So however you feel they will be abortions performed regardless of the fact and it isn’t anyone place to judge that person believe me they have to deal with that on their own.

@throne

I’ll be a “pointless feminist” if it means I have the right to make my own decisions about things that affect my life. I’m not against you feeling how you feel or thinking the way you think, but I’m definitely against you having a say in whether or not I have the freedom to choose.

And, no, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I’ve been on both sides politically. I was raised by a pro-life activist who believes as you do. I don’t think abortions are a cakewalk or an easy way out, but I certainly believe that the people who want them should have a safe means of doing so. I wouldn’t choose one for myself, but I certainly would not stand in someone else’s way.

@Simone

I’m not saying a person shouldn’t take personal responsibility. I’m 34 and I’ve never been pregnant because I take the necessary precautions. But even those precautions are available to me because I have the right to choose. There are people who believe that birth control in any form is murder or against the will of God.

If we’re assigning the definition of life to all living cells, then a man is murdering thousands of people everytime he masturbates or uses a condom.

Throne,

I get your point. And it is for you to keep. I am not trying to preach or change anyone’s opinion. How could I.

And yes, I am selfish. Quite frankly, to a degree everybody should be and everybody is. Survival is THE main force behind everything we do or do not do. My own survival is – at the end of the day – my main priority. Maybe you have guessed it by now: I am not one to believe in Divine Creation. I believe in Evolution and science as a whole. By that logic, we are mammals. And mammals have to be selfish to ensure their own survival as a top priority. Only then, they ensure their offsprings survival. If a female mammal doesn’t produce enough milk, she may kill her babies because she can’t keep them alive. I am going out on limb and I know this is a very drastic comparison: but I am sure you have noticed the amount of killed babies, babies in trash cans and the like in the recent years. There is no telling what a desperate woman may do. My guess is that these women were in no position to have these children in the first place. Wouldn’t it have been in the child’s interest not to be born? Yes, I sound krass. But in an effort to get my point across and due to the fact I am an ESLer, I don’t know how to put it differently.

I rather be selfish now, then when I have a child. And why is it selfish to make a smart choice. As I said in my first post: I am against abortion as a means of belated contraception. I myself have been on birth control ever since I have been sexually active and have used condoms for double protection. Again: when I have taken all the necessary precaution should I change my path simply because of a busted condom? While this may be the right way for some women. It is not for me. I am a control freak, I admit it. I want as much control over my life as I can have. I do not believe in leaving it up to God, Allah, Buddha or whoever else. I am no1 to accept the cards that I am being dealt. I make sure I am the dealer.

I respect and accept your view. It is what is right for you in your situation. But my opinion is what’s right for me and my life.

Oh and one more thing: yes, men take care of their children. However, the majority will be done by the mother. And until men can breast feed, that won’t change. My brother is a wonderful father for example. He fed his lil one, he changed diapers, plays with him and so on. Yet and still, he goes back out into the world everyday to take care of business while his wife is stuck with the daily struggles that come with parenthood such as taking their son to the daycare before work, picking him up, going out to buy groceries, shopping for lil fella, making meals etc. The main burden is and will always remain on women when it comes to raising children. It’s part of nature – unless you’re a sea horse – even when the man I am sleeping with is a man, not a boy.

@Litabia

1st my real name is Tron i just added the H & E to it.
2nd Isnt thats why we are here to express our views?
3rd if you feel a certain way shouldnt there be some logic behind it?

If somebody is caught selling drugs they just dont say “Well im sorry you dont agree with my actions but thats on you” a go home they get judge by is all. Despite maybe having really good reasons for doing so.

I dont know why all the females are targeting me for stand up for babies who cant do it for themselves. Were aborting our on kind “aborting” that something you do to a command this is murder

My point is this you cant just do whatever you want in life with consequences. Why is killing babies different?

@Hope2star

If i killed you shouldnt that be illegal? Unless im defending myself so theres your answer. We shouldnt get to pick and choose who ,when ,why ,and where we kill.

**taking the mike***
“testing 1,2,3, mike check”

@ -h
Some people are wrong to classify birth control and abortions in the same category. Birth Control is a form of preventing pregancy. Abortion is terminating that pregnancy.

I knew this one would come up – men do destroy a lot of living cells but let’s take this a step further. Most sperm cells do not survive on their journey to the woman’s egg because they die but that one lucky sperm reaches that egg and implants itself, it’s a different story is it not? Doesn’t the connection between the sperm and egg upon connection start something else – the first stages (zygote). I guess, my point is that after that when the sperm dies from men when they ejaculate, even on their own a connection is not made yet. When us women lose our eggs through ovulation, that connection is not made yet. When sperm and egg meet, tissues and organs start their process of developing….Something is already there and formed. How long does it take for a woman find out that she is pregnant? Depends right? How long does it take for her to schedule that abortion? Depends again-and during that time that little tiny precious creation is growing and developing and then BAM, we kill it. We stopped it’s life progress, it’s gone and does not have that chance anymore and we did it through abortion.

@Elle

I respest you so much! Im not religious @ all but i do believe in a higher power thats were we defer. Anybody who doesnt believe in evolution is blind. I dont petend to know God are what it is that he wants. Im guessing like every other person in this world nobody knows for certain what created everything and to pretand or think that you do is foolish ,but with that said there is a thing called a “Conscience” and it comes from some where and “Love” thats how i know theres a God. And everything in me and my consciences says that killing babies are wrong and if people dont feel in there soul that its murder i cant make them. I just dont understand how so many people can make that decision knowing the bond between parent and child and because im not a parent and a male i refuse to have anybody tell me that my love for my niece who i am like a father to doesnt qualify me to speak my piece. I dont know what i would do if i didnt have my niece she is the only thing that makes my life worth living so if thats me forcing my ideals on people SO BE IT!

and that’s mic not mike.

@Elle

Thats so not true there are so many men that have full custody of there kids there whole life so to say a man cant do it is bogus. My brother had custody of his son at the beginning. He sucks as a parent so me and my mom did all the waking up at nite ,changing diapers ,making bottles and all other things and i was a So. in high school at the time so dont tell me it cant be done!

@Simone

Thats my point you have to stop the process! It’s completely different if the process is never set in motion. And once that process starts its nolonger just you now its ya’ll.

@Elle

Once again fully aware of the art of self-survival ,but honestly you wont die if you have a baby we are lucky enuff to have tons of programs to help. You can give birth give your baby away no questions asked to prevent woman(really lil girls) from just throwing there babies away. I would rather grow up a orphan instead of being aborted!

@Simone
First you said all cells were living and now you’re saying life begins at conception. Legally, abortions cannot be performed past a certain stage of pregnancy.

I agree that preventative measures are ideal, but the circumstances under which an abortion are performed are myriad and varied. It’s not up to the collective, it’s up to the individual. It’s about having options and freedom to make your own decisions.

I’ll say it again. The freedom to choose is what’s important here. I believe a woman should have the right to make informed decisions about reproducing. The only way to reduce the number of abortions is to provide women with education and affordable and available birth control.

@ throne
Adoption is not the magically uncomplicated situation people think it is and the systems and programs you refer to need serious reform. I, myself would probably try to adopt instead of getting pregnant when it’s time for me to raise kids. To each her own.

@ elle
again. Word.

@ da ThRONe,

So you would rather have an existence where you’re fighting for space in an over-crowded orphanage, or being abandoned by a mother who could not take care of you, or being moved from one foster home to another, where there are risks of you being abused than for the girl or woman who conceived you to have an abortion to spare you from a lifeless life? Oh, man.

Let me tell you something young man. You don’t know what you are talking about. I was like you. When we were in HS, my girl got pregnant the first time we had sex. The condom fell off inside of her. I was freakin’ out, man. But I loved her and we decided to get married right after graduation. Then she got accepted to college and things changed, man. She changed her mind, because she wanted to go to school. We fought night and day about me not wanting her to have an abortion, but she went ahead and did it anyway. I hated her, man. I f**kin’ hated her. I called her every name in the book, and we eventually broke up. I hated her for years, man. I thought she killed my kid, man.

It’s been 10 years since I last saw her. And if I see her today I would apologize to her and thank her for giving me a chance in life. I’m married to the best woman on earth now and we just had our first baby.
After I broke up with my high school girl, I went to college and got a degree. During my college years I was able to travel to a few countries with my friends and girlfriends, got to enjoy spring breaks, Christmas breaks, and be a college kid. Now I got a good job and I’m able to support my family. How the hell would I have been able to do those things if I had a kid at 18? If my girl didn’t have the choice at 18, where would I be today? Where would my kid be having a father and mother who could not support him or her? I was not about to give him/her up for adoption. So how would I have been able to care for him/her?

Well, I’m pro-choice, man. And will always be pro-choice. No 2 situations are the same. What may have worked for you and yours may not work for everyone, man. You gotta have an open mind about issues like these.

Peace

@ Elle,

Just one minor thing in your last comment you said you wear condoms as “double protection”. I just want to specify that generally speaking condoms are protection against pregnancy and STDS, while birth control does not “protect” against STDs at all. So while it may be “double” protection regarding pregnancies but still only a single protection against STDs.

Not saying you didn’t know that, but just wanted to clarify in case any younger readers saw that and misread as in birth control prevented STDS. A lot of misinformation in our community

@D-Berry and anybody else

Weither or not i agree i have never disrespected anybody in here. So if we are going to continue having grown folk dialog ya’ll going start showing me the same respect I give everybody else.

So dont tell me what the fuck i know and dont know

So what you suggest Mr. Berry is run it like a kettle start putting kids down to keep the numbers low?

Open minded about murder? If somebody kill my momma i not gonna have in open mind just cause you was able to party and bullshit do to her abortion dont make the shit right!

I had a girl i dated for almost 2years a few weeks after she dumped me she came up pregnant she was sleeping with me and another dude she was almost sure it was for the other dude i did all i could to talk her out of it. I told her if it wasnt mines I be there til the end but she did it anyways. I drove her and picked her up afterwards i would have stayed with her but i couldnt(1 of the place rules). Now for the rest of my life i gotta think if i had my son or daughter killed because 1 there mom was given it away and 2 I couldnt talk her out of it.

So dont tell me what i know and dont know!

@ da ThRONe,

I mean you no disrespect, man. When I said you didn’t know what you were talking about I meant in regards to the reasoning behind other people’s decisions to be for or against abortion. I didn’t mean to lessen the value of your experiences or of what your opinions bring to the forum here.

@D-Berry

Its cool no harm no foul!

But im not just some lil kid I have plenty of experiences. I have plenty of my friends and peers in my real life that are pro-choice. Most young black people are but i think its cause were the microwave generation. We want everything the easy way and in a hurry!

“If i killed you shouldnt that be illegal? Unless im defending myself so theres your answer.”

So this means in cases of rape, incest, and when the mother’s health is at risk as well? Because life is life, right?

@ D Berry thank you for another male perspective.

Its so crazy that I’m watching Tyra and she’s talking about foster care and adoption… Da Throne, You would rather be an orphan…that’s your CHOICE. I just want to know if you are aware how hard it is for child to be adopted in this country? How screwed up the foster care system is? Adoption is not a magic wand. Throne, are you an adoptive or foster parent?

I just wish that some pro-lifers took they energy they put into “pro choice=murderer” theatrics and spent that energy improving the lives of children who have been born into lives of poverty, violence, and neglect, they could make a world so much better. And I don’t mean to be mean but I just want to point out that I dont think that abortion would be right for me but who am I to force my beliefs on someone else? This world does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. I just find it interesting that the concern is when a woman chooses to end the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo but there is no concern at all really when a baby that is not wanted is about to be born.

Sorry for the rant! Thanks…

@Hope2Star

I already said if the mother life was at risk! Read before you ask.

So you would rather not exsist than be an orphan my life probably isnt a good 1 by most people standards but its mines and i love it.

No im not an orphan and yes i understand its hard. But does that justify aborting(since ya’ll dont like me calling it killing) babies?

I honestly think this world would be better if we started putting bullets in the middle of the forehead of people who just refuse to do right. People who hit there women, people who kill other people ,people who abuse children, public servants who run this country into the ground. I really believe that but i dont think its our right to play judge, jury, and executioner. And thats what i think abortions are.

Da Throne, I don’t know what the solution is to reducing the number of abortions or if there is a justification for abortions that you would be happy with (short of the mothers life at risk, which I still don’t understand).

What I do know is that flippantly saying the people who choose to have an abortion are taking the easy way out doesn’t help. Calling people “pointless feminists” doesn’t help. Suggesting adoption as another way without helping to change the system doesn’t help. Playing judge, jury and executioner by stating “honestly think this world would be better if we started putting bullets in the middle of the forehead of people who just refuse to do right.” REALLY doesn’t help.

Sorry to repeat myself but really:

I just wish that some pro-lifers took they energy they put into “pro choice=murderer” theatrics and spent that energy improving the lives of children who have been born into lives of poverty, violence, and neglect, they could make a world so much better. And I don’t mean to be mean but I just want to point out that I dont think that abortion would be right for me but who am I to force my beliefs on someone else? This world does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. I just find it interesting that the concern is when a woman chooses to end the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo but there is no concern at all really when a baby that is not wanted is about to be born.

sorry for the rant again HAHA…

I think we can all agree that outlawing abortions will not stop abortions. Its deeper the just a medical procedure its a mindset. We have to do better as a nation to teach our youth to protect themselves first and foremost and that waiting isnt the worst thing in the world. Back to the “public servants running this country into the ground”. We should be holding them to a higher standard. If we can find trillions for a bullshit war we can fix alot of stuff here.

But if you know the people i know abortion was just an easy way out from being a parent. I cant tell you what goes thur there minds(im no mind reader) but none of the dozens of people i know didnt even seem a lil bit phased by the whole process. It was ok im pregnant oh well gotta visit the clinic. Like it was nothing more than a check up or something

I’m kind of late with the comment but here it goes anyway…

Women have always known how to terminate a pregnancy. Often time the local midwife was the keeper of this knowledge.

I feel like the term pro-choice minimizes the complexity of deciding whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term. Surely most people, like me, who are pro-choice are certainly pro-life — we believe in the right to bring life to this earth..when we are ready to do so. And pro-choice is not just about choosing to keep a pregnancy but choosing whether or not you have adequate housing, income, health insurance and healthy relationship that will support this new life.

I had an abortion on 19 yrs old and never regretted it, not even for a second. It was the best decision for me at the time. People may judge me or have an opinion about it but frankly I don’t give a fuck.

Before we can talk about whether or not women should have an abortion we need to ask ourselves are our youth properly equipped with the knowledge and family planning options to make that decision..

At this point I’m probably rambling so I’ll end it here. My 2cents.

I just discovered your blog today….Love it!…btw. I’m pro-choice.

@ H

I am saying that cells are living (until it’s death anyway). If i could explain this properly our body is made up of cells. Cells are what make up our tissues, cells are our blood, cells are our organs, cells makes us. Our cells also die, we lose tons of cells everyday from our skin. There are different type of cells. Someone commented that the baby is in the form of a cell and that it was not alive and that was my response to it. I was trying to point out that that zygote was a living cell that already started its process of becoming a human being. We could also get technical and say that that cell in the form of the sperm and egg starts to divide through a process called mitosis. Those living cells which are now dividing everyday has strands of DNA and organelles working to form what makes us or should i say build our anatomy and physiology of our body. I am also saying that when the sperm and egg meets, it develops into to something completely different – the start of human life form. It gets more complicated but i am trying to explain it as simple as i could and I am definitely not going against my words.

Its funny when you carry the pro-life tag everybody think of you as closed minded. But yet and still it seem like all the pro-choice people do the attacking. I have nothing but love in my heart and feel like everybody born or unborn has a right to make there way in this world. No matter how shitty this world may be that every living human organism should have a chance to live.

I too am pro-choice. It’s a very personal decision. However, I do agree abortions should not be used as a form of birth control and we all have the responsiblity of protecting ourselves. I have been in this situation and have no regrets because I made a decision and it was the best thing for me.

Pro-choice.

It was def a sign…for you to write this blog. What heated, passionate opinions! I love it! I am def pro choice. I also believe some people take the easy way out to avoid the consequences of their actions by using abortion as birth control when they should have more respect for life and themselves and wrap it up. But ain’t no angels here.

I’m glad we have the right to choice and I’d fight hard to keep it but people DO need to make better decisions. I don’t think I could ever have a child as a result of a rape but I am amazed and humbled by women that do. Thank God for freedom of choice!

I had to throw my two cents in well first I have to say abortion is not murder. It just a very simple fact abortion happens to be legal. Also according to the 1st Amendment in our constitution church and state are to remain seperate…

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances

Our country is not a “church state” and we are not governed buy peoples religious laws and moral beliefs. Basically people need to stop trying to use religious beliefs, moral codes and and gods word to vilify a person and labeling them as murders when their not. Having an abortion is completely within the law and religion and god has no place in the law.

everybdy kinda had good points or excuses whichever yo choose.

i dnt believe in abortions b/c i have a beautiful little girl but i cant lie i did contimplate abortion for a split decision, now let me explain before most think i am contradicting myself:

my childs father wanted me to get pregnant, when i found out i was he was so happy but not 2 or 3 wks later he left me for somebdy else. this hurt so bad. we didnt talk for a while and didnt feel i could do it by myself. i cried all the time and was being pretty selfish when i look back now.

i had a phone conversation with my mom, she made the comment we could always fix the problem. me knowing my mom i knew wut that was. hearing that out loud kinda hit me hard and i knew i could do by myself…and guess what, i am doing it by myself and love every minute of because shes loved, and so beautiful

I am a foster mom and the kids that have come to me have been hurt really hurt .if a woman is not ready for a life time of being a mom then she is just not ready.Being Mother or Father is not a part time thing its something that takes a life time.i am about to be 50 this year and my Dad was my dad and best friend not just has a little girl when it was cute but till the day he passed away 01/14/09
if your not in it for the full ride get off the train pjwill

You cant gauge whats right and wrong based on whats legal and whats not. Our government is not built on morality its built on profit and greed we should all know that by now.

I have spoken my peace and wont come back with the same logic again and again. Abortion is one of the topics people will have to agree to disagree on. But there is one more thing I’d like to say.

Throne said something along the lines of rather being an orphan than being aborted.
From the impression I get of you on here – which is limited to say the least – it seems as if you have a good relationship with your mother/parents. Correct me if I am wrong.
My point is, only somebody who hasn’t grown up in a less than loving home can make such a statement.

My ex-boyfriend was conceived through rape. His mother was 16 or 17 at the time and had been raised in a catholic family who was dysfunctional in itself (molestation, violence, the whole 9). She was not in the position to be a mother at that age, and due to her own childhood not in the position to be good mother at that. So this poor little boy grew up being told that he isnt worth anything, that he is dumb, ugly, a burden. He was beat daily by his own mother who even told her ever changing boyfriends to beat him whenever they pleased. She couldnt afford to pay for a babysitter or daycare when she had to work. Her solution: she handcuffed him to the bed and left him without food or drink all day until she would return home from work. He went to school hungry, had no kind of guidance whatsoever. Sooner or later he ended up “in the system”: warden of the state, foster home, gang, bootcamp, jail…the clichee “career” of an unloved and unwanted child. Logically, this life has shaped him into who he is today. And unfortunately, he had and still has severe mental problems which led him to attempt suicide at one point.

Why am I saying all of this: Abortion is no walk in the park for anyone. It should not be used irresponsibly. But I believe the option should be available legally. It is much crueler (is that a word?) to have a child who you constantly remind that he/she wasnt wanted and isnt loved than to terminate some cells ability to further develop.

Just today on the news I saw how they took 3 children away from their mother who lived in complete filth, without food, without drink, no toys. The mother was pregnant again and said she was overwhelmed by the responsibility and the workload. I feel for these children who are probably scarred for life now more than I feel for an aborted “not yet”-child.

Oh and thank you NWSO for the clarification concerning my “double protection” remark! That’s how I meant it.

@ da Throne

“You cant gauge whats right and wrong based on whats legal and whats not. Our government is not built on morality its built on profit and greed we should all know that by now.”

Well actually you can in this case because the fact is that abortion is legal. So therefore to attempt to try to say abortion is murder when in fact it is not according to the law is 100% wrong. We just can’t intermix religious and moral beliefs on others because they have no place within then law or courtroom. We (our government) does not enforce or abide by others religious or moral laws. So to even attempt to try to argue that it is a crime is not even relevant, its just false. It is however something that some people feel strongly against due to personal and other beliefs, yet it is a right. However since we live in America and our freedom of choice and many other rights are protected according to our Constitution no one has committed a murder, alleged or otherwise.

I don’t want to be misunderstood because I not stating whether I’m pro-choice, pro-life and and anything in between but I’m simply saying that we’ve got rights here granted by the Constitution and laws thats we’ve and people who came before us voted in and just because a law is inline with what a personal belief I may have does not make it any less of a law because of who yells the loudest.

I am the product of an abusive household. My father verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abused us for years. I left home at 13 and only went back home during the summer until I moved out for good, so thankfully I was able to see the situation for what it was and make plans to escape it. It’s still something I deal with, and I’m now in my thirties. My mother wasn’t so lucky. He abused and harassed her until the day she died, and I believe to this day that he contributed to her death. We don’t speak much at all these days, and I’m freer for it, but his is still the voice that I hear in my head whenever I’m feeling my lowest and when I’m beating myself up mentally.

I’m bringing my family history up for a reason. When I was in my mid-20s, in the midst of a very low period in my life, I met and started a relationship with a man that also turned out to be abusive. I was in denial about the relationship for a while — you know, I’m a professional with two degrees, I’m supposed to be smarter than this! I couldn’t deny it anymore after he got pissed off one night and spent that night beating and raping me. I left and went home, but he started calling my parents at all hours and even tried to break into my parents’ apartment. One night when I was out with friends, he called my cell phone 12 times in about 5 minutes, leaving scary messages the whole time. He even showed up at my job once. I spent the next year in fear of this man stalking me. I changed my phone number and eventually moved with friends. It worked.

Here’s the thing: About two weeks after I moved home, I fainted. I was pregnant. We had been careful — I DID NOT WANT HIS CHILD. I guess I was just unlucky. I scheduled the abortion no more than an hour after the pregnancy was confirmed, had the procedure a week later, and never looked back. I was staunchly pro-choice before this, but (and it hurts me to the core to say this) I had to do it to avoid my mother’s fate. I would not have my life, or my child’s life, ruined by being tied to this abusive asshole for life. I could not and would not do that. I thank God every day that I had the option to do this. I know that sounds ironic, or even disingenuous, but there it is. I’m now in a wonderful relationship with someone who treats me like a queen and we’ve talked about having a child. I’m still a little scared, but I’m more ready now than I was the first time.

@EmotionalFunk

How is it alcohol and tobacco products kills thousands of Americans a year and is still legal and there are hardly any confirmed marijuana deaths and the 1st two are legal and the other isnt?

Does that sound like a government that cares whats right and whats wrong. We have a system that allow lobbiest to buy votes. So big business can continue to fuck us legally. That same government made up an out right lie to get the American people to support a bullshit war for there own profit. So sorry if I dont have faith in them to make the right decisions.

I am by no means under the impression that outlawing abortions is going fix all the problem. Just like capitial punishment doesnt stop crime. At the same time I dont think termanating lives at any point will is fixing the problem either. Our educational system, foster system, welfare system, health care system are all terrible and all play a role in this problem. But to give people young or old passes to go out there and do what ever sexually and just because you dont feel like being a mother “We give them an out”. Once again abortion has become routine like check-ups in this country. It is a form of birth-control now-a-days we have to make people accountable for there actions. We can make all the excuses in the world but if your not ready to be mommy dont have sex.

I wanted to be a rapper and i had a line that said
“Most of these girls to young to be lovers/ thats why most of these girls too young to be mothers/
Dont kid yourself/ raise an adult you just a kid yourself/”(dont steal my lines people i know who you are LOL)

Alot of it starts with our ability to be real with the people whom lives its are jobs to mold. Dont just say “dont do it” be more specific tell’em our story and our experience. Keep an open door so there nothing that cant come to you with.

Hmmm…. I find it interesting that the staunchest advocates for pro-life are men and yet they will never know what it is to live through a decision like that, its very easy to be absolute about a principal that you’ll never experience.

Bottom line, babies change everything, whether you go through with the pregnancy or not – your life will never be the same regardless of your decision. No one is pro-abortion but I do know the power of choice is a God given right so who am I to take that away. I got pregnant almost ten years ago and there’s not a day that has passed that I don’t think about the child I willfully gave up. My story is typical, broke, scared and no sooner did the stick turn pink I got re-introduced to the man I thought I knew and loved but like I said, babies change everything.

Growing up without a father made me think the best way to protect my child from that kind of pain and years of dealing with abandonment issues would be not to go through with it. I know it may be hard to believe for some but sometimes you make a decision like that out of love for that child, the pain from that decision has become a perpetual heartache in my chest but I stand by my choice nonetheless.

My decision, my cross but it still doesn’t give me the right to tell another person what’s good for them, only to take their time with permanent decisions because they can be irreversible.

@ da Throne

well I’m not going to stray from the topic so I’m going to end my comments here with saying unfortunately you just have no legitimate argument since your argument against what is legal (abortion) is only supported by your feelings and beliefs and poor comparisons to alcohol and tobacco.

Abortion is legal =not a crime=legitimate fact

Peace

@EmotionalFunk

Why is everybody pointing out what we already know? We already know that abortions are legal i at no point have have said its not. But capitial punishment is murder and its legal so dont say just cause something is legal it isnt murder.

This is a debate on weither or not its right or wrong not legal or illegal!

@allforyou

I have the God giving ability to do anything in within human reasoning that dont make it right. I can kill anybody right now that dont mean God wants me to do so. Were confusing what we have the right to do with whats right to do. If you think abortions are morally ok thats fine. But dont tell me its morally ok because theres a law that says you can.

And where does everybody get off by telling me what i can feel and what i cant feel? If you abort what is my child how can you set on “Your high horse” and tell me that im not affected by it. How dare ya’ll begin to tell me what i feel? The things that i spoke on was on own personal experience with people both male and female react to having an abortion. I have never once judged anybody or ever said that the abortion process was an easy process. I said that all the people I know that have gotten abortions did so because it was easier than being a parent.

So like i said before you start posting things to shed people in negative light read what they say before you say something!

And let me remind you people it is that same government that said it was legal for people to tell you were you couldnt eat or sit! So where is all this faith in the government coming from I dont know?

And 1 last thing to all the people(especially females) who have this preconceived notice that “Its my body and nobody can tell me what to do with it”. One word “prostitution” ladies its your vagina right? So you should be able to do what ever you want with it right? Then why is selling sex illegal in 48 out of 50 states?
My point exactly! The government has the right to tell you whatever. Men there always the right for them to fire up the draft! So dont think your government cant regulate whatever

Whew…..you can always get the temp rising when others try to tell others what to do with their bodies, minds or morals! LOL…..bottom line….we do what we want when and how we want!…

@throne
would you have the same stance if ur situation was different?….i.e. u broke up with her?…..what makes you think that the women who have abortions dont live with that for the rest of their lives?…..just as u are reminded from time to time of the possibility of your possible baby getting aborted?…….I have read through all of these posts and I don’t see any right or wrong answer just everyone’s opinion…..we all have to keep in mind we are all different, different upbringing and life have dealt us different cards…….

@Seriously, No Seriously

My point for bringing up government ability to govern our bodies wasnt meant to piss anybody off but some people make statement that arent true. And IMO if the government should ever stick there noses in peoples right to govern there own bodies this would be it when its another life(or the “magic” of life has already begun) at stake.

I dont recall telling anybody that they were wrong without providing some facts to back up my statement and if i did i apologize. In all honestly I feel like i am the one reaching out to other people. I made my case base on my opinions i gave reasoning and examples while it seems like everybody else was more comtempt to question my knowledge and integrity rather than make a case.

And for the record Imma real man and would keep my word reguardless of who left who!

@Anybody

Just go thur and read my comments then read the comments address to me. And then tell me who is close-minded. I have never passed judgement or disrespect anybody or there views. But cant say the same for everybody else.

@ da throne

Wow… I wasn’t even replying to anything you said specifically. I made a general statement from my own observation over this debate nationally, if you took personal offense from that, I’m unapologetic.

I find it funny that you have done nothing but berate and ridicule people who disagree with you from your first post but when called out for it you cry victim, you have strong opinions and so does everyone else. In essence, you have accused people who have made a decision you will never have to make lazy, immoral, murdering heathens with no soul or conscious if you really believe yourself to be non-judgmental and beyond reproach then you really need to go back and read your own posts again.

What percentage of those who are anti-choice have gone though the process of adopting children? how many of them care for foster children at home? They are quick to promote adoption over abortion (as if adoption is always an option), but do they realize that many children never get adopted and actually age-out of the foster care system? I am pro-choice, AND I plan to adopt several children throughout my lifetime. For the anti-choicers out there who are too busy with higher education, and climbing the career ladder, you look hypocritical not adopting children and critiquing women who abort because they want to pursue higher education or to further their career goals.

@allforyou

Dont put words in my mouth i never said any of that. If that how you read it its clearly not how i meant it. You made a statement and i just commented on that statement. I never accused you of addressing that statement to me.

Have you read the stuff people posted to me? If you thought i was berating please take a look. Or are you just taking sides because you dont agree with me? I have never said anything bad. I said there taking the easy way out. I didnt say anything about peoples soul or anything like that.

ONCE AGAIN BEFORE YOU START COMMENTING MAKE SURE IT BASED ON SOMETHING I SAID NOT WHAT YOU THINK IM TRYING TO SAY. If i say something out of line i will be the 1st person to apologize for it!

I had an abortion when I was 19. I struggled with the decision. At the time it was definitely the hardest thing I had to go through. He already had a child and he was urging me to get it. He was the only person I told and I sat with it forever feeling very alone- he wasn’t supportive at all. What made it so hard was how much I loved him-so I loved the idea of a child with him. It made it really hard, but I finally decided it was the best thing. He came to the appointment with me and waited but I went home by myself. It was a long time before I got over it, but I have now and know that I made the right decision.

He now has at least 2 more children & is in jail. What kind of father would that have been-what kind of issues would he have genetically passed down to our child. What would have happened to my life-I would have been stuck. I would have had to do it all alone. I felt it would have been selfish to try to keep a piece of him by having the child when he would have been no kind of father that I would envision my child having. Of course it was stupid for me to be involved with someone like him but I was young & since then Ive dated men who were more together.

Im comfortable with my decision and I dont care what people say to me but I do get angry about anti-abortion extremists. The day of the appointment there were women outside, they looked like a mother daughter, handing out pamphlets & trying to stop me from going in. I think that they are scum. People can have their opinions but those psycho people that put posters of aborted fetuses are scum too. If its not affecting you then you shouldnt take it upon yourself to interfere in someone elses life. I should have said to them, do you want to pay my rent, make sure I have food for my child & health insurance?! Do you want to explain to my child where his father is & why they cant see him.

No one should judge someone for a decision like that.

I not hating on anybody and to any female who made that choice im not saying anything bad about you. If your the executioner in a prison doesnt make you a murderer just because its your job. If you are a soldier your not a murderer because its your job to kill. And like wise if you have an abortion you are NOT and murderer just because you make that choice.

But that doesnt make it right. I told people about driving my ex-girlfriend to the clinic to support her after she made that decision. There was a girl i really like that i was cool with that i gave her several hundred dollars once she made her decision. I am not saying anyone is evil im not saying ever girl does it no sweat.

I may disagree with Throne’s opinion but I do not see where he berated or disrespected anyone. We’re all adults here and should therefore be able to accept other peoples’ opinions for what they are even if we don’t share them.

Just felt the need to express that.

On with the program.

Firstly, I think everyone has made some good points. Da Throne evern though I staunchly don’t agree with your opinion. I do always appreciate the opinions of others. I am especially fond of a devil’s advocate because it gets me to really think all the way around my beliefs and see if there are holes in them. I would like to clarify I am not saying my beliefs are the right ones but here’s something to think about.

“I wanted my child.”

” I had no choice but to have this child.”

Look at the difference in those two sentences and how they make us feel. Now imagine being the child of the owner of these feelings. Children are the most amazing intelligent and astute people we have in our society. They know which one of these categories their parents fall into. So you have the possibility of growing up knowing by observing, or in some cases being flat out told that you weren’t wanted. How does that affect how you feel about the value of your own life?

I was not a planned pregnancy and I grew up during a time that abortions were legal and you could go to a medical professional to have one done. I can feel confident in saying my parents wanted me because they had the choice.

Pro-choice is about having the choice. It’s not about how you choose to use it. What if someone told you, you could never go to college, you could never be a professional, you could be never be comfortable in your own skin. They have taken your choice from you. And maybe none of these are even desirable choices to you. Maybe you are not interested in college or being a professional. But why does someone get to take that choice away from you? That’s what the pro-choice argument is, you have the right to make your own decisions.

Let’s also think about the social things that come along with having a baby. In an ideal situation, children are seen by both their parents as a gift. Not all situations are ideal. Have you ever sat at family court in the child support section and seen how many men are ducking, dodging and fighting to the death to not have to support their children?

Da Throne I think you specifically would get a lot out of that experience. Just to watch what it’s like to see someone say things like, ” Well I never wanted this kid so I don’t see why I have to support them.” Or “yeah I love my kid but I just ain’t got the money.” Spoken from the mouth of someone who has been working off the books so the courts can’t track how much they make. How many men have to be threatened that they will go to prison if they do not start paying support for their kids to have basic necessities of life. Food, clothing, a warm, comfortable place to live.

I do not have my own children. I have a beautiful niece and nephew and have had the pleasure of watching my ex brother in law. Who is a lieutenant in the police dept. come up with every excuse in creation as to why he can’t afford this and he can’t afford that. Which is pretty interesting because my sister always provides for her babies whether she has or not. I’ve sat next to her in child support court and watched women have to come in with every receipt for everything they’ve purchased for their child just to prove that this is what the kids need.

You would not believe how many men walk in their with lawyers to fight having to pay support and their defense is ” I can’t afford to pay this.” But you can afford to hire a lawyer and show up in a suit. How ironic, that you don’t have money for a person that is half of who you are. Someone who is defenseless and beautiful and comes into the world with the opportunity to be anything. You don’t want to do anything for this beautiful little being that lest we not forget has half your genes.

So let’s go back to the question of choice. A women shouldn’t have the opportunity to choose to pass this situation by and to relieve their unborn child from having to go without? Or being aware of these sentiments from their father?

But a father can choose not to support their child. And believe me, you see sitting in court it is an avid and passionate choice.

What’s that like for a kid? Growing up thinking my dad wants nothing to do with me? or I can never go on school trips. To the movies with my friends. Things like private school or vacations are pipe dreams because my dad won’t even give me a hundred dollars for new school clothes.

That’s a lot of weight to sit on mom’s narrow shoulders. If she could foresee all these possible situations before she makes the choice. If she could see her child’s anger and frustration, her own anger and frustration. Do you really think at that level it’s a choice of what I’m doing with my body? And not a choice of what will this do to my child?

Something to think about… I hope I was able to serve as your devil’s advocate.

@Shoegal

Dont ever refer to a male that dont support they’re children as men! Its disrespectful to all the real men that its not even a question for.(Thank for your cooperation)

When you talk about choice dont you think its a lil unfair of us to make a choice for all those seeds to tell them there better off dead then alive?

PS I dont wanna go to that place i would end up fighting 1 of them punk ass niggas!

2-plz-u OBVIOUSLY you’ve never been pregnant… How can you say that even a woman that’s been raped should be required to carry her rapists child? How evil are you? I am pro-CHOICE to the max. Everyone wants to say that there are better options but then they’re outraged when parents abuse children that they didn’t want in the first place. And the foster care system is already bursting at the seams! Imagine how it’d be if thousands more were added to that… SMH… It’s a womans choice PERIOD.

I really feel it’s not about being pro-choice or anti-abortion. It is just difficult to draw a line and make a big generalization on something that is very case-specific. As far as I am concerned, I would probably fit in the pro-choice category. However, this is 2009, women have numerous options to avoid being pregnant: pills, morning after pills, condoms, patches, diaphragm, etc. I try not to be judgmental, but in a developed country, in a modern society where the majority of the population has access to decent technology and information, it would be an euphemism to say that it pisses me off when I see women get pregnant like by “accident”. Although education, environmental factors and beliefs play a big role in these “accidents”, I still find it hard to see them as accidents. In this case, I see it as an abuse of the use of abortion.
On the other hand, when a woman becomes pregnant because she was raped, because the condom broke and she didn’t react quickly enough (morning after pill), or other real accidents. Abortion in my eyes is ok.
Now, there is also a gray area. What if a woman was made pregnant by the “love of her life” and they were to be married, but he ended up leaving her (could be the other way around). Should she keep the baby because it’s God’s will? Personally if I can avoid raising a child without his father I will. My reasoning is the following: the day I have children I want them to have the best options, have the best environment to evolve in and I think it would be wrong for me not to give the best to my children. I am also aware that there are a lot of single women raising children on their own, but reality is, it’s more difficult. Yes, relationships are complicated and we cannot control everything. So the part I will control, I will use it in accordance to the way I see things.
And just in general, with that frame of mind, I think that if you do not have the financial, physical, emotional, mental, maybe even spiritual strength to raise a child, don’t create another suffering human being on the planet. Many parents capable do not manage to raise their children as well as they wish, why would you think that you could with lesser means achieve that. Obviously, this is also somewhat of a generalization, there are too many exceptions and specific case to generalize on abortion in my opinion.

Wow, this topic got heated real quick. I just wanted to share my story, take what you will from it. I had an abortion 4 years ago, I still think about it to this day. I have a 6 year old little girl. I got pregnant again by her father, who decided to take the condom off after I told him that I did not want to have any more kids at that time ( there are men out there that trap women into having their kids, or they lose their minds because they just want to “bust” inside of a woman without a condom). Her dad came up to me a day later and admitted that he “made a mistake,” when actually he wanted a son. I did not know how to get the day after pill on a weekend, but did not think that I had anything to worry about. I did end up pregnant, my daughter was 2 at the time. At the time I was struggling financially to take care of my daughter on my own, her dad did not have a job ( and wasn’t really trying to get one). Even though we were together, we did not live together. I also felt like my right to choose was taken from me. I did not know what to do, I didn’t want the baby, but did not want to go against my boyfriend (he highly opposed the idea of abortion). I was depressed, I started having very morbid thoughts. He promised that if I had the baby we would get married, he would get a job and everything will be ok, even though those are things he could have done anyway since we already had a child. (By the way, I did think for a split second about possibly aborting her, but it was our fault that we concieved her since we were not using any protection).

I ended up making the decision myself to get the abortion. I hated having to make the decision, but I was already taking care of my daughter by myself and was not confident that I could take care of 2 children on my own. I had part time jpb that was not secure, I didn’t have much family support, and i was trying to go back to school. So I went through with it, and it was an experience that I will never forget. I was by myself, it was an extremely cold day in the middle of winter (like 40 degrees below zero). Because I was 3 months pregnant, they did the suction method. The procedure was physically uncomfortable, but it was psychologically grueling. After the procedure was over, all my nausea, back pains, everything stopped.

Having an abortion is never the easy way out. You always deal with it. I think about it every January (that was when I had the procedure), and July (which was when the child would have been born). I hate that I chose to abort that child and not my daughter, who I love very much. I hope that child does not think that they were not good enough for me to keep. It’s hard to say if it was right or wrong.

And just as an afterthought, my daughter’s father did not get a job for almost a year after I had my abortion, he is not helping me financially, despite the child support order, and he actually had a son by someone else that he is not taking care of either. He does spend more time with my daughter and picks her up consistently.