Sex With the Ex
I was listening to Ne-Yo’s Because of You the other day when “Sex With My Ex” came on and the self-explanatory song got me to thinking about the practice of sexual recycling. Basically that’s when you fall back into the arms of a former lover. Although there are the few rare exceptions, most of us have found ourselves caught up in a crazy chain of events that ends in your ex’s bed (or on their floor, kitchen counter, etc.) at one point or another. Maybe y’all had too much to drink. Maybe y’all contemplated getting back together. Maybe someone was just horny and lonely. Whatever the case, y’all had sex and chances are it was pretty darn good.
See, there’s just something about ex sex. It ranks right up there with makeup sex. Not only is it with someone that you’re comfortable with, but y’all know each other’s bodies and exactly what to do with it. There’s none of the awkwardness or inhibition that comes with a new partner. It’s raw, direct and passionate sex (or love making depending on the circumstances of your hookup). If only every episode could be this intense.
The main reason ex sex can be so good is because if either of you had known the last time was going to be the last time there are probably so many things you would’ve done. Favorite positions you would’ve tried again. Freaky shit you would have done. Held that kiss a little bit longer. I mean, who doesn’t wanna go out with a bang? That’s why ex sex is so good. You put your all into this surprise episode, because this may actually be the last time (well, until the next last time) so you want to do any and every thing you’ve been secretly fascinating about every time you see your ex. Plus, you want to show him/her that you still got it like that and ain’t nobody else out there gonna hold a candle to your lovemaking. If this is gonna be your last impression it will be your best impression. Or maybe that’s just me. LOL.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sex connects people—especially when it’s good. Couples usually break up for a valid reason(s), but good dick/pussy has been known to cloud judgment. Someone might take the intimacy as a sign that things could possibly work between y’all again. Next thing you know you’re reminiscing on the good times before whatever it was that caused y’all to split reared its ugly head. For a brief moment, you might recapture the magic that drew y’all together in the first place and exist in a temporary state of euphoria. One bedroom slip up turns into two, two turns to five. Next thing you know, you’re going at it like jack rabbits on ecstasy every chance you get, claiming that each time is the last time for real, for real. But the loving is too good and you keep coming back for more.
While all this passion and familiarity make for a good roll in the hay, depending on the individuals, it could also open up old wounds. If the two people aren’t on the same page, that one night(s) of passion could have rippling effects on their once harmonious post-breakup friendship. One person might view the tryst as “just sex” and continue down their path of singledom, while the other could be catching feelings. Jealousy could soon set in and a messy re-breakup could soon follow.
In other instances, ex sex could be just a one-time thing (or more) between two mature individuals. Some people are more selective about adding more partners to their little black book or are tired of trying out new people, so they satiate their carnal desires with a reliable gap stop from their past. Whatever the case, it’s key that both parties talk about what happened (or is happening) honestly and don’t try to sugarcoat things or say what they think the other person wants to hear. Ex sex can be great, but there’s probably a good reason why they’re your ex.
So who out there is guilty of ex sex? Was it better than you remembered? Did you regret it as soon as it was over? Was one time enough or did it become a repeat performance? How did you wind up sleeping with your ex? Was it an “accident” or were you between relationships and called in a reliable source for a fix? Is it possible to sleep with an ex and not have emotions involved?
Speak your piece…
SAVE THE DATE:
The official NakedWithSocksOn.com re-launch &
belated NWSO birthday party.
DATE: Thursday, January 22, 2009
TIME: 6pm to 1am
LOCATION: Rhum Lounge @ Negril Village, NYC
70 W. 3rd St. (Bet. Thompson St. & La Guardia Pl.)
FREE ALL NIGHT
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“Sex With the Ex”