Doing Da Butt (Owww)
Dear NWSO,
My current “supplier” is pressing me to have anal sex with him. We’re not dating seriously; he’s just the dude I call when I need a quick fix. But all of a sudden he’s on this new shit where he wants to do it in the butt. At one point I actually considered it and did some research for tips and all that, but he did some asshole shit (no pun intended) that I nixed the whole thing. The more I think about it, I really think that’s something that should be reserved for someone that’s boyfriend or husband status but I don’t want to lose out on my “supplier” because I didn’t at least try it. What do you think I should do?
Dear Booty Bandit,
First off, that whole I-wanna-wait-to-try-that-until-I-have-a-boyfriend/husband thing is a crock of shit (pun intended). Yeah, you want to save some things for the special person in your life, but if this (or any other “freakish” activity) is something that you want to do; why deprive yourself because of some false idea of what you should or shouldn’t do sexually when you’re not in a committed relationship. If you’re into freaky stuff, then do freaky stuff. I am, of course, using the word “freak” as a positive term, because ain’t no sense in holding back from doing something you actually want to do. But if this isn’t something you’re into then just don’t do it. It’s that simple.
Now in the event that you do have an interest in doing this (with your supplier or someone else that’s less of an asshole) then go for it when you find the right person. I’ll assume you’re a grown woman of consenting age, so you have the right to do whatever (legal) sexual acts you want to whenever you want to. What does a title or piece of paper have to do with your desires? Besides, what if you wait until you’re married to try all the freaky stuff and your husband isn’t even into it. Now you’re sexually frustrated because you had opportunities to do any and everything you wanted to with your supplier, or whoever, and now you’re in a lifelong commitment unable to express your true carnal side.
At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter if you’re a freak when you’re single or when you’re married, just be yourself and you’re more likely to be a sexually satisfied human being. So if you’re sexually curious about something I say do it whenever you want, just make sure it’s with someone you feel comfortable with. Whether or not you’re in a relationship shouldn’t matter if it’s something you actually want to do, but if you have absolutely no interest in a particular act then you shouldn’t do it with a jumpoff, boyfriend, or husband. It’s your body not his, if he can’t understand that just cut your loses and find a new supplier.
Now, as for the overall subject of anal sex, that’s a really sensitive topic for a lot of folks. I doubt many people—male or female—are willing to openly talk about it, mainly because of the stigma that’s oftentimes attached to it. “Oh, that’s gay,” or “Only whores do that.” But according to the Bradley Hasbro Children’s Research Center in Rhode Island, anal sex is on the rise among teens and young adults, particularly those who have unprotected vaginal sex. Experts say girls and young women are often persuaded to “experiment” with their bodies for all the wrong reasons: to please a partner. But at what cost?
Since there’s a higher likelihood for contact with blood and other bodily fluids during anal sex, experts say it puts you at a higher risk for STDs. So if you, or anyone else reading this, chooses to ride the Hershey Highway it’s best to take the same amount of precaution you would having vaginal sex, if not more. According to the Kaiser Foundation, more than one-third of new HIV infections in the United States occur among people between the ages of 13 and 29 and can be attributed to the mind-set among youth that they are not at risk of contracting the virus.
Despite the potential health consequences, many young people are under the misconception that anal sex is a way to have intercourse without getting pregnant or as a way to remain a “virgin.” As a kid, I remember hearing stories about girls saying they were virgins because they only did it in the ass. “It really is shocking how many myths young people have about anal sex,” Judy Kuriansky, a Columbia University professor and author of Sexuality Education: Past Present and Future said during an interview with ABCNews.com. “They don’t think you can get a disease from it because you’re not having intercourse. They can actually recite by rote how you get AIDS, but it doesn’t transfer to their personal behavior.”
Now I’m not saying that doing it in the butt is wrong (to each his or her own). Nor am I saying that doing it automatically means you’ll contract an STD. As with any sexual activity it’s about being smart, safe and sexy. I can’t stress this enough: sex is a two-way street and both partners should be comfortable in how they interact with each other physically, mentally and emotionally. So if you feel that ol’ boy is the one to take your booty virginity by all means do you. Just protect yourself, do it because you want to and always make sure you don’t write checks that your ass can’t cash.
So what are other people’s views on anal sex? Is it restricted from your sexual to-do list? If so, why? Or do you feel it’s something you’re curious about, but want to save it for your husband or significant other? Has anyone out there tried it and regretted it? Anyone care to admit that they actually enjoy it? Do people feel there is a stigma attached to it and only “whores” do it in the butt? Is a girl still a virgin if she only had anal sex? Who agrees with me in that consenting adults should do whatever they want in the bedroom, married or not?
Speak your piece…
“Doing Da Butt (Owww)”