DAY 28: What if…A Woman Proposed to Me 83/90
I keep finding myself being posed with the weirdest questions as of late. I guess the blog has positioned me to be the “Black Dr. Phil” as one friend put it. (If you have blog topics or relationship questions, feel free to hit me at NakedWithSocksOn@gmail.com). Well, here’s the latest odd scenario I’ve been faced with:
A friend of mine approached me the other day with the following question: “What would you do if a woman proposed to you?” No, she this wasn’t a veiled attempt at poppin’ “the question” to me; she asked because a girl she knew was considering it.
I thought about the question for a minute and responded, “It all depends.”
See, tradition denotes that a man proposes to a woman. It’s just the way things have been and how they are supposed to be, but it is almost 2009 and anything can happen, right? We’ve had the women’s right movement, have the potential (I hope not) for our first female Vice President as well as our first serious female candidate for Commander In Chief. Even still, I have to admit that the idea of a woman proposing is a bit odd to me. Would I feel emasculated by a woman taking the traditional role that I, as the man, am supposed to take? Or, worse yet, would I then feel like I was being trapped or forced into a corner? Well, it all depends.
That’s a typical answer from me when I’m posed with any open-ended question. It’s never a clear yes or no, because I’m an (over)thinker and can see all the variable scenarios play out in my head where some setups would produce a yes response, while others would result in a no. For instance, am I in love with this woman? I have to be to make that kind of commitment. There’s no way around that one, because when, and if, I get married I’ll try my darndest to make that last forever, ever. If I am in love with her, and had thought about making that step anyway, I guess I could say, “I do,” to a woman’s proposal. If I’m not, then the answer is a definite no.
I actually saw a scenario on a TV recently where a woman proposed and it worked in her favor. I can’t recall which one but it was one of those police dramas—probably Without a Trace. Anyway, this guy’s fiancée had gone missing and for some reason or other, they were watching a videotape of her finishing a marathon that the husband had taped. Once the woman crossed the finish line, you could hear him congratulating her and showering her with “I love yous” and “I knew you could do its.” After she caught her breath, she looked into the camera and said, “I love you, John. Will you marry me?”
Completely taken aback, he responded, “W-W-What? I was supposed to propose to you.”
“I know, but I love you. Let’s get married.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, let’s get married.”
“Okay.”
It was a touching display of saccharine goodness, but the only reason I think it worked was because he was a man already in love. It didn’t matter who proposed to who, because they were headed there anyway. But there are probably a good number of guys that would see this scenario differently—in love or not.
The male ego is very fragile and any slight shift in gender roles can cause a rippling effect that has the potential wreak havoc on a relationship and a man’s sense of, well, manhood. I’m not introducing any new philosophy when I say that a man like to feel like a man—we all should know that by now—so I suggest that any woman that dares to jump the gun on jumping the broom tread lightly. Hopefully, her man is secure enough in himself and so much in love with her that he’s willing to throw caution to the wind and say, “F it, I accept your proposal.”
As for me, I don’t know. Like I said initially, it all depends. But what about y’all? Ladies, would you ever propose to man? If so, why? Fellas, if your girl proposed to you, would you accept? Or would you feel like she was undermining your manhood and balk at the idea?
Speak your piece….
“DAY 28: What if…A Woman Proposed to Me 83/90”